Hi everyone, I'm back.

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone, mb20lover here. I wasn't sure where to post this.

It's been a while since I was on the forums, so I just wanted to make a post saying that I'm back. However, I'll try my best to limit my time, comments, etc on here.

I won't bother tagging anyone, and I'll try to keep this as my only open thread that I have created.

I've missed everyone I've spoken to on here, and I hope to talk to some new people. I have been using my offline supports - my Psychiatrist, GP, Parent support of course, and a Social Worker. I'm in the process of finding a Psychologist but I'm having no luck.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say hello, and also I hope I haven't upset anyone on the forums or anything like that because nothing was intentional, so I deeply apologise.

An update on me, I recently turned 21, can't do much with COVID though, it's a hard year for everyone unfortunately.

I also have a milestone, an achievement, I've been seeing my Psychiatrist for a year which is the longest I've stayed with a therapist. And I also finally have a GP I feel comfortable with. I'm on different meds that seem to be working a little but I still of course have my moments, but these meds I've been on the longest for out of any of the ones I've tried.

Other than that, please don't feel pressured to comment anyone, although it would be nice to connect with some people, old or new, but like I said that's okay. I just wanted to check in.

If you've read this and made it this far, thank you. Stay safe and take care everyone, as much as possible with the unfortunate COVID circumstances.

Thinking of all the Beyond Blue Mods & Users. I've missed everyone.

- mb20lover.

[Matchy69]

Tayla I would probably find myself hiding from her.I prefer to be by myself and then have someone constantly annoying me like that.I am not sure what her real motives are wether she thinks she is trying to help you or she is just lonely or she has mental health problems herself.One thing is don't reveal to much about yourself to people.I never tell anyone I have mental health problems only my closest family.
Take care,
Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Thanks Mark. I haven't revealed much to her and I try not to. On here it's different because we all understand and it's anonymous, no one knows where anyone lives and so forth. It's more at ease here.

I'm glad you agree and would do and feel the same. I like being alone most of the time too. I'm lonely too and have mental illnesses as you know but I wouldn't be like that to someone because it can really annoy them and affect their mental health and maybe even tip them over the edge.

I see my Psychologist tomorrow night so I'll discuss it with her, and then my GP and Psychiatrist (I like to tell them as much as I can, especially my Psychiatrist) when I see them. Hopefully the stuff with my bladder will be sorted out soon too but I doubt it.

[white knight]

I agree with PsychedelicFur that you appear to lack some self esteem/confidence.

I was the same, what changed my life was a motivation lecture at 26yo. After only 30 minutes this man motivated me and gave me courage.

Google

Beyondblue topic 30 minutes can change your life

Its really great you attend s psychiatrist and tell her everything, many hold back and that restricts the help you get back. Imo mental health problems need a multi pronged approach, attending motivation lectures was one of those methods I used during my partial recovery now nearly 40 years ago.

If you had more confidence and you mustered your ability to be tactful, you could reply to this woman more bluntly and hopefully not hurt her feelings. If she takes offence well, you've done your best.

TonyWK

[Guest_4643]

Hi Tony. Yeah I have no confidence and self esteem at all.

My Psychiatrist and GP are Male, the Psychologist is Female.

[Guest_4643]

So I asked my Psychiatrist to do a positive trait thing the Psychologist sent me, I'll ask my GP too. This is what he wrote. I guess he can't write too much because of rules and it may seem creepy and whatnot. I'm still somewhat flattered I guess. He chose these words:

- Kind.

- Intelligent (not sure how I am but ok).

- Thoughtful.

- Respectful.

- Honest.

- Modest (not really sure what that means, can someone please explain it in simple terms? I've heard it before).

- Serious (I guess this would mean I take things seriously such as my emotions, others, etc)?

- Reliable.

- Sensitive (hell yes, not sure how that is positive though, more negative in my opinion. Well I guess it can be both).

- Corteous.

- Grateful (I try to be but I guess I have moments where I don't seem grateful and appreciative of what I have, not intentionally).

- Cooperative.

[white knight]

Hi

Modest is when you are well taught and experienced in certain fields but oyu dont talk about your abilities very much. Humble is a similar word for the same.

Sensitivity- well I'm sensitive but I wouldnt have it any other way. Sensitivity brings feelings, deep ones and that can cause you to live life in a beautiful way. I write poetry and I can say that my sensitivity adds to my work.

For example-

LUCKY LIVES

I ponder my lucky life
As I pass my middle age
And think of what I haven’t done
To turn another page

I haven’t felt the “G” forces
In a spitty’s flying suit
Bullets in mi’ belly
By a 109 pursuit

I haven’t worked a railway line
And I haven’t had an empty gut
Nor had my limbs amputated
In a stinkin’ Burmese hut

I’ve done a lot of labour
In a Telstra trench
But I haven’t dodged a bullet
In the ‘Somme’ of stench

I’ve basked in the tropical sun
Without a worry of care
But I haven’t searched for a man trap
In the Vietnam orange air

I’ve watched the desert storm
And worried about diggers fate
But I haven’t heard a martyr
Before he detonates

I’ve marched as a rookie
To protect the human race
But I didn’t return from “Nam”
With tomatoes in my face- a disgrace

As I ponder my lucky life
I wonder how it can be
Then salute our fallen soldiers
That made our lives so free

It only takes a moment
They gave us our lucky lives
That shaped our country’s future
And filled us with our pride…

and

PINKY THE PIG

Pinky the pig began to cry
Pinky didn’t have a curly tail
Like the others in the sty

They laughed aloud the other piggies
While rolling in the dirt
They didn’t think for a moment
-the level of their hurt

Then one day the other piggies
Fell into deep mud- such stink!!
All of them were stuck
Except pointy pinky pink

Then with a smile
and a wagging straight tail
pinky pointed at them with glee
pinky pulled them all to safety
finally they were free

So legend has it that pinky was heroic
And the other piggies began to cry
They all wished they had a pointy tail
And were special in the sty…

Written with feelings. Not everyone has such deep feelings. I'm lucky.

TonyWK

[amberlite]

Hell to all , I am so glad to read your posts, even if they are about uncomfortable stuff, is your dog at all fearsome because some dogs can be defensive and helpful. If this person is really targeting you then you will need to tell her WHAT< WHEN< and HOW it is gonna be. If you want nothing to do with her then, YOU YELL-- I"M BUSY, every time she invades your space. SAY NOTHING BUT--- I"M BUSY over and over till she gets it.

on a kinder note maybe, you remind her of her daughter, or she has brain damage, a fella in my road is brain damaged and we all have different boundaries with him, like I wont let him in the house if my husband is not home. You just gotta set your boundary in concrete.

[Jstar49]

Hi,

Tony thats beautiful poetry! I really liked the pinky pig poem, he's cute 🙂

Tayla, I'm hearing that this is a tough time for you. I was reminded of this idea recently by a FB post. Strong people aren't born, they are made. It's the tough times we go through in life that shape our character, make us the person we become. A great analogy is baby birds. Did you know that if you break a chicks egg to help it hatch, that it will die? The baby chick needs that struggle to strengthen essential muscles for life.

Life is pretty tough sometimes. And some people seem to have it tougher than others. The thing is, you don't know how the challenges you are facing today, will help you, or someone else tomorrow. I have seen this happen in my life so much, so I want to encourage you to use all your resources to strengthen those baby bird muscles, cos girl, you're gona need them to FLY!!!

Also, resources means anything that you can use. It might be your parents help, friends, IRL and here at BB, your Drs and Psychs, researching on the internet, books, movies, things you've learnt, challenges you've overcome and the strengths and abilities that helped you overcome them.

I would add, to Tony's excellent description, that modest means you don't put yourself forward, or 'toot your own horn'. I would agree. You certainly don't brag about your achievements and abilities Tayla. Modest dress is dressing to cover one's 'assets' lol.....not wearing revealing clothes.

All the best,

J*

[Jstar49]

Hi,

I like it Amberlite! It could be softened by not yelling, but simply stating,very firmly, I'm busy. The repetition is good, apparently that almost always works.

Cheers,

J*

[Guest_4643]

Hi all.

I'll read all of your replies and reply properly tonight, I have a Psychologist appointment at 6 and have to have dinner and walk also. Not ignoring anyone, I'll just reply when I have more time. Thanks, speak soon.