Hi everyone, I'm back.

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone, mb20lover here. I wasn't sure where to post this.

It's been a while since I was on the forums, so I just wanted to make a post saying that I'm back. However, I'll try my best to limit my time, comments, etc on here.

I won't bother tagging anyone, and I'll try to keep this as my only open thread that I have created.

I've missed everyone I've spoken to on here, and I hope to talk to some new people. I have been using my offline supports - my Psychiatrist, GP, Parent support of course, and a Social Worker. I'm in the process of finding a Psychologist but I'm having no luck.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say hello, and also I hope I haven't upset anyone on the forums or anything like that because nothing was intentional, so I deeply apologise.

An update on me, I recently turned 21, can't do much with COVID though, it's a hard year for everyone unfortunately.

I also have a milestone, an achievement, I've been seeing my Psychiatrist for a year which is the longest I've stayed with a therapist. And I also finally have a GP I feel comfortable with. I'm on different meds that seem to be working a little but I still of course have my moments, but these meds I've been on the longest for out of any of the ones I've tried.

Other than that, please don't feel pressured to comment anyone, although it would be nice to connect with some people, old or new, but like I said that's okay. I just wanted to check in.

If you've read this and made it this far, thank you. Stay safe and take care everyone, as much as possible with the unfortunate COVID circumstances.

Thinking of all the Beyond Blue Mods & Users. I've missed everyone.

- mb20lover.

[blondguy]

Hey Hey Tayla

We have been swapping posts of support for a long time and its great to have you as part of the Beyond Blue forum family!

Being a national mental health forum there are many members/valued contributors/champions that dont have people replying to them too,...as there is no expectation for anyone to reply

You have a very kind heart and thankyou heaps for the caring support you provide to other members Tayla 🙂

my kindest

Paul

[Guest_4643]

Hello all, thanks for checking in, especially those like Tony, Paul, Guest_206, amberlite and PyschedelicFur (hope I spelt that right) who I haven't seen here before, so thanks to everyone.

What I meant by liking the posts and not replying is sometimes it makes me a little uncomfortable, like I'm being watched I guess. Perhaps it's just paranoia. I didn't mean it in a rude way and like I'm expecting people to reply. I'm sorry if it came across that way.

I'm struggling a lot. I'm after some advice please, my parents are aware of it and I will tell my Psychologist, then my GP and Psychiatrist when I see them, but for now I just need some advice please.

Ok so this lady in my street (we live down 1 end, she lives down the other), I feel like she's stalking and harrassing me. I would consider it to be that anyway. She started talking to me months ago, it was all ok. She's in her 50s.

Lately she's been really annoying and overbearing. We talked to her one day when we walked past, everything was fine. That same night she came to my house and talked to me and just told me her life story for 3 hours, didn't leave until 10.30pm. I kept telling her I had to take my meds at a certain time (well I have to at night, I ended up taking them when she finally left). She comes over unannounced, and I don't like when people do that. Whenever I tried to make a suggestion such as for her to get a Psychologist, she cut me off and shut me down. I was polite about it and didn't tell her to leave.

She's come to my house 4 times a couple of days ago, I know this because she left my Dad a message on his phone which he played to me.

She also watches when I go for walks with my Dog or my Dad, if we walk down a side street or past her house. She says we should walk past everyday to see her and chat. She also told me that she's doing an a course for adults with learning difficulties (such as reading, writing, etc) and she wouldn't do it with the group but she would do it alone with me. I found this EXTREMELY creepy and uncomfortable. I don't need to do one of those things anyway, without sounding cocky. It comes across as "I want to be alone with you".

She comes to our house for no reason without calling, and I feel like she's watching my every move and I know it's not paranoia.

She said I should get a phone (I use my Mum's, that's ok) to CALL HER if something happens NOT my parents or 000.

And other stuff which I'll write later. What should I do? I feel scared, uncomfortable, etc.

[white knight]

Hi mb20lover

Thankyou for taking my hint maturely.

Who knows what this woman is thinking? She could be anything from basic loneliness to gay which is all ok but not when the other person is not. Some people latch onto others and you might find that other people avoid this woman at every opportunity.

You might need to start thinking about your responses to this type of person. To not set boundaries is to invite them into your life even more. It isnt your fault but in this world we cant just condemn anyone that takes a liking to us, they might be lonely and need company. However you also have rights and if you are not up to a visit then tell her tactfully.

"I'm sorry but I'm watching the football" is a perfectly good response. If she says she likes watching also , hinting she wants to, "No, I'm sorry, I prefer to watch alone /with my dad" etc You are likely to upset her, this is not usually avoidable.

Dont feel guilty, she has obviously read your mind the wrong way.

TonyWK

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla that lady sounds really creepy and am sorry you have this lady stalking you.She sounds like she is probably really lonely but that doesn't give her the right to make you feel uncomfortable.You have the right to feel safe in your home and in your community.Have your parents talked to her and told her to not contact you?.The only other option is to talk to the police and they can have a word with her and hopefully that would be enough.
Take care,
Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Tony and Mark. Thanks for your suggestions. I understand she's lonely but she knows I have mental health issues and social anxiety, well a social phobia (more so in person than online). She's making me really uncomfortable. Even when we walk down the side street of her house she watches and sometimes she happens to be walking the same way and bumps into us as if she's following us. Even if we walk a different way it seems to happen. I don't feel safe.

I'm lonely also but I'm not acting like that. I've learnt to live with it myself. If you go to the police can you remain anonymous? And yeah Tony I didn't mean to sound rude, it just made me feel like I was being watched in terms of people liking the comments but not replying. I guess I'm just being paranoid about that but not this lady for sure. I see your point though and I'm sorry if it seemed rude.

She mentions she has friends and a daughter, why doesn't she contact them instead, why is it always me? I have nothing against the fact if she is gay (sorry I should've mentioned she had a husband but they're divorced), but that would be even more creepy if she liked me because I'll be 22 this year and she's in her 50s.

She also mentioned she beat someone up when she was younger. Everything she mentioned is giving me a very creepy uncomfortable vibe.

I want to tell her myself how I feel but I'd want one of my parents with me. If something happens afterwards (such as damaging the house etc) then I'd know it was her and would contact the police.

To me it's harrassment and stalking and she's pushing the boundaries. I have mentioned to her that I like being alone and I have appointments at home (Telehealth) and ones to attend in person. And we don't like unexpected company but she still does this.

I don't know what to do. It's affecting my mental health because I feel like I'm constantly being watched. She watches us drive past in both of our cars. I feel like she's watching us even when we drive. I'm scared.

[quirkywords]

Mblover

I am sorry your neighbour is upsetting you by her behaviour.
it is hard when you are coping with your open issues and someone stresses you.
It must be awful feeling you are being watched.
can you not answer the door after a certain time.

[Guest_4643]

Hi quirky.

I don't answer the door, that night my Mum was there and she answered because we didn't know it was her. But when she called over a few days ago 4 times, I wasn't there but I knew it was her. My Dad said we'll try to walk past tomorrow and tell her.

[PsychedelicFur]

Hey there,

first and foremost.. this is a very uncomfortable situation and I feel deep sympathy towards you.

I can’t really offer any advice but please discuss this with your psychiatrist.

You need to practice self praise. You are in no way worthless. You sound like such a welcoming, genuine, insightful and beautiful person. I’m struggling with this enormously at the moment so I do feel sympathy towards anyone who feels like it is a really big challenge to complete.

Thinking of you lovely one.
please take care.

PsychedelicFur. xxx

[Matchy69]

Tayla if you can try seeing her with your dad and telling her would be the first thing to try and I hope it works and it's the end of that.You need to protect yourself and mental health from her.

[Guest_4643]

I agree Mark. I don't know what her problem is. I understand loneliness all too well but I've learnt to live with it and I have people online I can talk to. Why doesn't she do that or talk to her Daughter and the friends she mentioned to me she said? I kept telling her I don't need to go to that adult course because I don't struggle with that stuff and she was really adamant and pushy about me doing it with her but she wouldn't do it with the group, just me. Would anyone else find all of the stuff I mentioned creepy? I said to her please stop about the course, I was getting annoyed. And since she told me when she was younger she beat someone up, well, she could be violent. She introduced herself to me, I never wanted to be her friend. I made suggestions to her in a polite way and said I'm not a Psychologist but she just shut me down.