Hi everyone, I'm back.

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone, mb20lover here. I wasn't sure where to post this.

It's been a while since I was on the forums, so I just wanted to make a post saying that I'm back. However, I'll try my best to limit my time, comments, etc on here.

I won't bother tagging anyone, and I'll try to keep this as my only open thread that I have created.

I've missed everyone I've spoken to on here, and I hope to talk to some new people. I have been using my offline supports - my Psychiatrist, GP, Parent support of course, and a Social Worker. I'm in the process of finding a Psychologist but I'm having no luck.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say hello, and also I hope I haven't upset anyone on the forums or anything like that because nothing was intentional, so I deeply apologise.

An update on me, I recently turned 21, can't do much with COVID though, it's a hard year for everyone unfortunately.

I also have a milestone, an achievement, I've been seeing my Psychiatrist for a year which is the longest I've stayed with a therapist. And I also finally have a GP I feel comfortable with. I'm on different meds that seem to be working a little but I still of course have my moments, but these meds I've been on the longest for out of any of the ones I've tried.

Other than that, please don't feel pressured to comment anyone, although it would be nice to connect with some people, old or new, but like I said that's okay. I just wanted to check in.

If you've read this and made it this far, thank you. Stay safe and take care everyone, as much as possible with the unfortunate COVID circumstances.

Thinking of all the Beyond Blue Mods & Users. I've missed everyone.

- mb20lover.

[Guest_4643]

I don't feel important at all MM. Thanks anyway. I apologise again.

Like I said, hopefully no one's judging me on and off the forums. People probably think I'm rude. And a failure, I mean I am a failure.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hey Tay

I'd like to think no-one's judging anyone else here. We all have our stuff going on. We're all just here trying to figure it out 🙂 Sometimes the suggestions/advice people offer aren't quite what we need at that point in time, and that's ok. We can take it or leave it and no harm done.

As for a failure - how do we measure ourselves? What makes us a success or a failure? Me personally, I'm not really interested in how much money people have, what car they drive... I'd measure someone by their ability to be honest, vulnerable, compassionate... and you're those in abundance. They matter much more in this world.

I know things are hard for you, and I'm sorry. But I really hope you can believe that people here care about and want the best for you. Please ring the helplines or reach out to us here if you need to x

[Guest_4643]

Hey Katy.

You're right, I prefer that stuff such as someone's personality over their money and whatnot like you said.

Thanks for the kind words and reassurance. I try to use helplines on the web chat and wait hours no matter the time and day and I don't get put through, even if I say I'm suicidal (I'm not right now but yeah).

I haven't done it over the phone since I don't like talking on the phone though.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Tayla...

I am fairly certain no one is judging you on the forums..I am sorry that you feel that way...Is their anything that some has said to you on the forums to make you feel that way..I know our mods do an amazing job to make sure that no one judges anyone here....

Just a thought Tayla...You said that all the clubs and social groups won’t allow you to join...which is so very sad...have you thought of forming your own group..I know you like walking...maybe if you advertise in your local paper that you would like to start a walking group for other people who are interested to join a walking group with you....

Tayla....honey your not a failure...nor are you rude...you always talk to others here with respect and kindness and you have and do support others on here with so much care...Please Tayla...try to realise that you are important to us here....you matter to us and we care about you....

My kindest thoughts lovely lady...

Grandy..

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla we are just trying to offer you ideas and support.

[Elithia]

Hi Tayla,

I don't think I can add much to all the lovely words of encouragment already posted here, except to reaffirm that you are valuable and cherished by many of us in the forums. I'm sending a MASSIVE HUG your way.

Wishing you a peaceful heart this evening.

Elithia x

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone, sorry I didn't reply sooner.

Grandy - thank you. Yeah I've thought of starting my own group but I don't think they allow it here or to be published in the papers or something. Plus I'm not sure if certain things are allowed with COVID & I probably wouldn't feel confident creating my own group. Thank you for the kind words as always, it means a lot. You're very kind yourself.

Mark - hey Mark, I know you are, I do appreciate it. Sometimes I have trouble expressing my wants and needs and appreciation.

Elithia - thank you also, sending a massive hug to you and everyone else here too.

I was looking up some websites trying to see if there's anything for mental health i haven't tried yet but no, I can't find anything, or if I do, it doesn't apply to me (for example, Veterans, DV, etc).

My Mum's been showing me some websites she found & I've been looking at those but I'm not sure what to say if I were to contact them. & I just keep getting let down so I don't see the point.

It sucks, my GP & Psychiatrist don't seem to understand this town (especially my Psychiatrist being from Sydney) & it's like they don't believe me when they say I've tried EVERYTHING - online, face to face, you name it. It's like they think I'm exaggerating or something but I'm not.

I looked up This Way Up which do courses for mental health but it costs money so idk about that, my Psychiatrist suggested it. I did Mindspot but didn't find it helpful & one person on the phone kept arguing with me saying I didn't have PTSD as I wanted to do that course, but I do, I have that as a diagnosis & I have lots of evidence. Who is she to say that? Ugh, people.

I did a bit of a Mental Health Online course but I ended up deleting my account on there but I could make another one perhaps.

Does anyone know any other websites I could look at please? I've joined SANE but got bullied so I left, joined Reach Out, & of course here.

I try to use Helplines such as Lifeline, Kids Helpline etc. when I'm up to it, sometimes they're good. I try Suicide Call Back Service but I can never get through which is odd.

Someone told me about 7Cups which is a forum (& there's other ones I believe) but that's for people around the world too & I would feel more comfortable with ones like this that are just for Australians, personally. Has anyone joined 7Cups?

I wish there was a Support Group, even for people older & younger (as long as it's safe etc) near me but there's not. There's GROW but they never got back to me.

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla it sounds like you have tried really hard to find groups and things online.I know exactly what it is like living in a small country town their is nothing on offer for young people and not for mental health.I know people don't understand mental health and really makes it difficult.Are you still seeing your social worker? Keep trying online and seeing if you can find something that clicks with you.I found someone who is offering 15 free coinciding sessions by phone or vidio call.I might look into that for myself.Just someone to talk to and just let it all out.

Tale care,

Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Mark. Yeah I keep looking up stuff online. I might talk to a Helpline at some point, I'll see how I feel. It's the wait times regardless of the time and day that puts me off. Even before COVID it was like that but obviously it's gotten worse, which is sad. They should have more people on the helplines with the high call and webchat volumes.

Lifeline have been good when I've used them. I don't see the Social Worker until Feb 25 because she cancelled my appointment in January to fit someone else in

[Elithia]

Hi Tayla,

You are such a resilient person... I'm so impressed with your capacity to keep seeking the right kind of help.

Please forgive me if I'm suggesting something you've already considered, but have you looked into Headpsace? There are a few Headspace centres in regional areas, and they offer an online support service now too, called eHeadspace. It has one-on-one supports and group supports, all designed for young people aged 12-25.

https://headspace.org.au/eheadspace/

Please feel free to disregard this if it's not a good fit or you've already tried it. I don't mean to make this sound like advice.

Warmest wishes,

Elithia x