Hi everyone, I'm back.

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone, mb20lover here. I wasn't sure where to post this.

It's been a while since I was on the forums, so I just wanted to make a post saying that I'm back. However, I'll try my best to limit my time, comments, etc on here.

I won't bother tagging anyone, and I'll try to keep this as my only open thread that I have created.

I've missed everyone I've spoken to on here, and I hope to talk to some new people. I have been using my offline supports - my Psychiatrist, GP, Parent support of course, and a Social Worker. I'm in the process of finding a Psychologist but I'm having no luck.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say hello, and also I hope I haven't upset anyone on the forums or anything like that because nothing was intentional, so I deeply apologise.

An update on me, I recently turned 21, can't do much with COVID though, it's a hard year for everyone unfortunately.

I also have a milestone, an achievement, I've been seeing my Psychiatrist for a year which is the longest I've stayed with a therapist. And I also finally have a GP I feel comfortable with. I'm on different meds that seem to be working a little but I still of course have my moments, but these meds I've been on the longest for out of any of the ones I've tried.

Other than that, please don't feel pressured to comment anyone, although it would be nice to connect with some people, old or new, but like I said that's okay. I just wanted to check in.

If you've read this and made it this far, thank you. Stay safe and take care everyone, as much as possible with the unfortunate COVID circumstances.

Thinking of all the Beyond Blue Mods & Users. I've missed everyone.

- mb20lover.

[Jstar49]

Hi T,

How's your day going?

Your dog sounds like a nice sensible age- too old for digging up lawns.

Tell me something about yourself that makes you smile....:)

I'll start...I like to wash out my bread bags and reuse them. It makes me giggle inside when someone comes over and I have a row of bread bags on the line in the shade- I'm sure they think I'm nuts!

What are your walks like? Do you have beach, or bush, or streets? Is there something interesting about your daily walks that you can share with us?

smiles,

J*

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla I hope you are doing ok.I know how hard it is for you finding a psyhologist and now with Christmas coming up it will probably be hard getting into one this year.

Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Hey Jstar & Mark.

Jstar - that's good. I don't like anything about myself, inside or out. The walks are around a lake, so a bush type scenery.

Mark - thank you, I hope you're both doing OK too. And yes it is.

- Tayla

[Guest_4643]

Hi all.

I'm so sick of having these nightmares, basically every night, sometimes 2 or 3 times a night, different nightmares. I don't even think of scary stuff or watch scary stuff, they just happen. They're extremely graphic (I would mention it but I can't and don't want to trigger anyone), and they feel so real, like I feel lost from reality, as in "has this happened? will it happen, to me or someone else? will I do this?"

I try to tell my GP and Psychiatrist, and yes my Parents are aware, but the professionals just say "take this", I haven't yet because it's used for something else but it's known to be successful especially in Veterans.

I've been told I need therapy, so a Psychologist I guess, but as I mentioned, I'm not having any luck. And that would be VERY triggering for me, certain things more than others of course, to bring up and "process" I guess, whatever the therapy involves.

And like I said about the Mindspot course (this is just my experience, I'm not trying to put anyone off trying it), they were rude & told me I was lying & wanted attention, when I do have PTSD & heaps of evidence.

I want to tell my GP & Psychiatrist the details of these nightmares, but I don't want to be locked up or reported or something & have them think I'm crazy. So I keep most of it to myself.

My PTSD stems from bullying my whole life online and in person, losing my Grandparents (Mum's parents, Dad's passed away before I was born) in 2013 (Nana) & 2015 (Grandpa), and this guy I used to like in high school when I was 14 (year 8). The nightmares seem to be about this guy the most, the one last night was, but it can be about all of it.

I never dated this guy by the way. Please help. I'm so sick of having these nightmares and being scared, insomnia is bad enough and this makes me scared to go back to sleep.

If you read this far down, thank you.

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla I am so sorry you are having those nightmares.I have nightmares on and off about things from my life.Something triggers it during the day that I don't even realize and I have nightmares about it.One thing my psyhologist told me a few years ago if I am in bed and can't sleep get out of bed as it is for sleeping and if things are worrying me to write them down .I know you are going through a hard time and I am thinking of you.

Take care,

Your friend,

Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Mark, thank you. Sorry to hear you have nightmares also. Thinking of you aswell.

I really don't know what to do. I could try asking my Psychiatrist if there's other meds for PTSD besides the one he wants me to take. But i don't see him & my GP until December.

I see a Social Worker tomorrow though.

- Tayla

[AliasKind]

Hi Tayla,

Just wanted to reach out and offer my support. There's little I can say that I feel would be helpful or of value. I empathise with your situation and so wish there is some relief on it's way for you.

[Guest_1643]

Hey Tayla -

Those nightmares sound very scary I can understand your distress.

Maybe it might help to do something soothing when you wake up from the nightmare... to feel safe in your body?Have you considered lighting one of your wax melts, doing something soothing when ou wake up?

Just an idea.
It sounds very overwhelming with all the pressure to find a psychologist. I hope you're ok

[Guest_1643]

Hey Tayla it is hard finding a good psychologist and for bulk-billing.. so rare. If you are with the MHCP you can see them cheaply but not free for 10, 20 or 40 sessions depedning on which MHCP you are on. This is a big help but still unaffordable to many people.

[Guest_4643]

Hi all.

AliasKind, that's OK, I appreciate your support, thank you.

Sleepy, I try to but they're very scary and I feel like I can't relax. I would go into details but I don't think I can here.

Also yes I've been on MHCPs but I can't see any at the moment, I always use one. I'll ask when I see my GP & Psychiatrist again however which isn't until next month. I see a Social Worker tomorrow.

- Tayla