everything look perfect on the outside

[Maggie_Mae]

Hi I am new here, after months ( honestly years) of refusing to accknowlege I may be deppressed I thought I would give this a go.

From the outside I am very lucky I have a wonderful husband, beautiful health children. A home and people around me that care about me. But for some reason I have this hole inside of me a place that makes me forget the happiness I should feel for my life.

I feel guilty for feeling sad I have no right too. There are so many people who are doing it tough, they can find happiness why can't I?

How easy it is to pretend everything is fine, the front/face I put on every day. While inside I am scaried sad lost. Why is it easier to continue to pretend, than try to understand what's going on inside my head. I am not sure why it is easier to write than ever utter a word.

[Maggie_Mae]

Yes having someone who knows you in the same country would be a good idea.

Even though some of the last few months have been extra hard you know what you did Survive and you got through it even though it was hard well done you can get through the next few too

[Maggie_Mae]

Just a quick note to say Thank you for all your support. It means a lot to have somewhere safe to express how I was/am feeling. I re read you replies multiple times it gave me the strength to not only see the GP but the Psychologist too. Thanks again

hope you are doing well.

[lookingforme]

Hi Maggie, I'm glad you found the strength to take those steps. Good for you. How did it feel, if you don't mid me asking?

[Maggie_Mae]

Hi Joelle, how do I feel? Not great I am proud I actually did it. But all these mixed up emotions aren't good. Psych didn't go well had s very hard time getting the words out. Never having said a lot of it out loud before my head/heart wasn't wanting me to start now.

[lookingforme]

Hey Maggie,

Proud is a fantastic start at something though. Are you convinced about the psych sessions? I understand what those feelings are, I was like that at first too. No eye contact was allowed, I had to write stuff down and practice, but no shame at all in it.