Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[mmMekitty]

Q: What would make a walrus happy?

A: When he has his cardigan 

[Croix]

Cardigan? Um, I don't get it -sigh.

Q. Where do cats write their notes?

A. On a scratch-pad.

[Eagle Ray]

Why do frogs like beer?

Because they contain hops.

[mmMekitty]

I was referring to your previous joke, thinking how unhappy would the Walrus be without their credit card, so I thought, make happy by giving their card-(back)-again...

(You know jokes don't work when they must be explained)

Try this one:

Q: What did the walrus say when it was late?

A: "I would have been here sooner, but my iceberg hit a ship."

Like your frog joke, ER. Must be better than mine, because it needs no explanation.

& Croix, the Cats joke is okay, too... though, to be perfectly accurate, we scratch our notes into whatever surface we can get our claws into & we try evry surface at least once.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Croix]

A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg,...

When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes and the penguin asks "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?". The narwhal stares at him for a bit.

"Ok, so what are your hobbies?"

[Eagle Ray]

Ha ha ha! Narwhals are the most amazing whales with their pointy dentition. I imagine you feel an affinity with them Croix.

Some penguins decided to chisel some pieces of ice from the iceberg they were on, melt them, flavour them and refreeze them as a marketing idea for a sweet snack. As the iceberg drifted towards the North Pole they couldn’t think of a name for their new culinary invention, until one of the penguins announced…

I see pole! And then they had their answer.

[Eagle Ray]

Why do spiders like living in corn fields?

Because they like to build cobwebs.

[mmMekitty]

Why do spiders like ducks?

It's the webbed feet!

How do spiders learn?

Webinar!

& spiders' least favourite band?

Spiderbait! 

[Croix]

What do you call a spider with 20 eyes?

A spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider.

[Eagle Ray]

Why was the secret agent following the arachnid?

Because he spied-her.