Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Eagle Ray]

Why did the hippopotamus decide to eat the tourist who fell in the river?

Because he thought he was hippo-critical.

[mmMekitty]

Why does the dog jump into the water?

For fear of becoming a hot dog.

[Eagle Ray]

A cow decided to open a vineyard and winery. Why did she decide to decorate the rows of vines with bows?

Because she is a bow-vine (bovine).

[Eagle Ray]

A burglar had a baboon as a sidekick. Why was he so successful at breaking into monasteries?

Because he had a monk-key.

[Croix]

My email password has been hacked again. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat!

[Croix]

My password needed to be 8 characters.

So I used “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”

[mmMekitty]

I like this one better, Croix. The last one I wondered what you were infering about cats... I only thought Sumo was having a go on your keyboard. Then I thought the new names you might have uttered ... 

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Croix]

What is a cat's favorite movie?

The Sound of Mewsic!

[mmMekitty]

Q: What has 5 flippers and 3 tusks?

A: A walrus with spare parts!

(I confess, I had to google)

[Croix]

How do you keep a walrus from charging?

Take away its credit card!