No good at small talk

[Guest_1055]

Today I find myself thinking, probably over thinking.....well I am not good at small talk. Anyone got any thoughts on small talk? I know it can be helpful in a way but seems meaningless in other ways.

OK bye now

Shelley xxx

[Guest_1055]

Hey Mary

Did you wake up feeling sad Mary? If so I hope you do feel better now.

Star Wars has been around for as long as I can remember . Do you like going to the movies then? I think the last time I went, we watched a movie called the "War Room".

I am guessing immersing yourself in family history would give your heart and part of your brain a bit of respite. So how are you like storing all the stuff you uncover, like are you writing it up on the computer?

Here is a word picture of me at home at night... I mainly sit in my bedroom, on a timber chair that sort of rocks. It is sort of a modern looking rocking chair, with a soft blue cushion. Every now and then I rock. To my left is a large window, that is pretty much always opened, a cool breeze normally comes in there. You are right lately, I have been reading threads on BB and sometimes replying. I type on this e-reader that I have. I also watch videos on ytube mainly on health or vegan cooking. Or I listen to music also. I am normally still awake, because my mind over thinks things.... all different things at one time. So I am not in pain or anything, and I am so sorry you were though. My brain has a hard time switching off.

I really do hope tomorrow is more improved. Now Mary now that I have written that last sentence, I am not clear on what I am meaning to say in that sentence. It does seem a bit like small talk??? I know that sounds weird.

For this is what is in my heart now for you. I long for you to wake up tomorrow and feel well rested, feel no pain at all, no anger,  no sadness or sorrow, no feeling worthless, but only feel and know you are loved, cherished and you go about your day being free, being whoever you were created to be. 

Hugs for Mary

Shelley xx

[White_Rose]

Shelley

Thank you for your reply. I have tried to reply a couple of times but not able to do so. It seems my small talk has dried up.

Mary

[Guest_1055]

Hey Mary

Just sending out some love to you today at your place. And if it is OK for me to say, please please feel free not to reply to my post or reply. I hope you don't feel pressured and I hope you are OK.

With love

Shelley xx

[White_Rose]

Hello Shelley

Thanks for your understanding reply. These past four or so months have been very difficult for me, but the last three weeks have been even worse. Eventually I just ran out of steam.

I am feeling better and more able to cope with the world. One result of being away from the BB forum has been been to reduce my concern and anxiety over the posts I read. Had a good look at myself and decided on a few changes. Not certain they will stay in place but I am trying. Talked to some of my friends here and received great support so I feel I can start to function again.

I am used to being busy so January can be difficult when the various organisations I am involved with shut down for the month. It's meant to give everyone a rest and time to recharge the batteries but I find the heat and humidity of a Brisbane summer very exhausting so there's not much rest and recharging. Can't wait until the cooler weather starts. Must be my English blood.

I hope you are well and that everything is going OK in your life. I see you mentioned your son in another post. Do you have any other family? Sometimes family can be a huge blessing. I am taking my granddaughter to the cinema in a couple of days to see The Good Dinosaur, eat popcorn and have lunch.

I hope you are well.

Mary

[Guest_1055]

Hey Mary

 When I read other people's posts, I don't feel anxious or anything like you, the emotion I often feel is sadness, and my heart feels a bit heavy as well. Especially over the last couple of days. So I have tried taking a bit of a rest from BB.

I don't know, at the moment I do feel a little vague and have been crying a lot too. And there is a part of me inside somewhere that wants to be free. I know I over think things and that causes troubles.

I am glad you are spending time with your little granddaughter. We went and saw that dinosaur movie today, and I could really relate to that baby dinosaur being so full of fear,and gripping onto the inside of that egg. I won't say much more, in case you have not seen it yet....

I have been up to Brisbane once, and I think we drove a bit inland on the way back. I remember a place called Caboolture somewhere up there.

If I am not being to nosey, what changes have you decided upon?

 Hope my writing is Ok

Love to you

Shelley xx

[White_Rose]

Hello Shelley

Lovely to hear from you. Did you enjoy The Good Dinosaur? As a child's film I found it boring, but then I am not five years old. Still, my granddaughter enjoyed it. I went to see Joy on Saturday. My friend and I were rather disappointed and decided all the best bits were used in the trailer. We had a great meal afterwards. I would like to see the Michael Caine film Youth. I'm a bit of a Michael Caine fan.

I don't know if you have written about getting any help for your (presumed) depression. Are you depressed? Feeling vague and crying a great deal are two common symptoms. Do you receive any help? I am very much interested in your progress towards becoming well again. Not nosiness, just concern.

One of the reasons I write on BB is to offer support. Not just day-to-day support but suggestions that will help the person on their journey to health. Those of us who have experienced depression, and other mental health problems, have a lot to offer in terms of experiencing the Black Dog. We all share a concern in the well-being of others, and often it is only here that people feel they can express their experiences, doubts, sorrows, fears and any other emotion.

So what am I changing? I will be answering fewer posts on BB and keeping tabs on myself for signs of overload. I consider the posts I answer very carefully and give a lot of thought to what I say and what I see are the needs of the person I respond to. This can be tiring so I need to be aware of how much I do.

I will also be taking more notice of my diet. Not going on a diet as such, just being aware of what I eat. I have noticed a distinct correlation between what I eat and my moods.

I need to be out of my house once a day and in the company of others. Not necessarily friends, just being with others. This will include returning to my volunteer roles.

Working harder with my psychologist and learning to manage my emotions.

Getting more exercise. There is a huge connection between exercise and mental Health.

Take care of yourself.

Mary

[Guest_1055]

Hey Mary

About the dinosaur movie..... well I think I was encouraged a bit because  the message I received from watching it, was though that little dinosaur was scared of many things, he eventually had the courage to face these fears head on. But I wasn't to fond of the little cave man boy who was portrayed like a dog. Watching the movie, sort of gave me rest in my head or something.

I don't know much about Michael Crane, but I am guessing he is an older actor. There is a couple of older actors that I like watching in some movies. They are Audrey Hepburn in Sabrina, Shirley Temple in her music type movies and Fred McMurray in My Three Sons.

The reasons, I believe I am feeling vague is the fact that my sleep is all over the place, I over think things, a have eaten to much sugary foods and junk of late. And I haven't consumed enough vegetables. Although I did make a smoothie this morning that had baby spinach in it. Like you.... I have definitely seen a connection to the food I choose to eat in my moods or emotions. For instance if I eat a high amount of sugar or chocolate my body starts to feel sort of jumpy on the inside, the opposite to being calm. I can also became more irritable, have less patience, easily flustered and just plain yuk.As well as a foggy head, like the vagueness. If I eat more vegetables and a small amount of healthy fats, I mostly feel better and even have more energy. So I am interested to what you find me out in regards to your moods and health.

The exercise does help too, I have found also. It releases some hormone I think. But I don't understand all the science behind that as yet.

So how long have you been on BB forums? I thought you had a picture before???

Hugs

Shelley xx

[MisterM]

I always feel like I have to break the ice by speaking first.
If I don't then the other person stands there in silence and that makes me more nervous.
It happened to me again on the weekend.

[Guest_1055]

I hear you Mister M, I hear you loud and clear!

I hate that awkward silence, just hate it. And if you are standing there, my body doesn't even know how to hold itself, way awful........... So what do you say then, to break the ice?

I can't say things like, "it is a nice day we are having" , because for me it sounds dumb. But then again, if the weather was something out of the ordinary, you could say something a bit better..... Who knows?

Hugs to you Mister M, you often sound a bit lost in your threads Mister M, not knowing the direction you should choose in life. I wish I could somehow help.

With love

Shelley xx

[MisterM]

Hi Shelley anne,

Yeah it's like I have an expectation to be the one to create the conversation.
It always happens to me, people stand next to me in silence and I stand there thinking what to say to create a conversation.

Yeah I am lost in life, but this week I have become keen to go back to uni to study teaching.
It's making me pull my hair out how to do that whilst paying the mortgage or rent.
Always hard to go back to full time study later in life, wish I knew my direction 10 years ago.

Thank you for your concern and kindness.
Hugs.