Horrible week

[Whatsinaname]

Hi everyone,

I'm having a horrible week, so just thought I would post to see how everyone else is going?

I'm having a hard time getting out of the shame spiral this week, but trying to remember this is only temporary.

Anyway, hope others are well, happy to chat about anything.

[Petal22]

Hi Whatsinaname,

I was just reading your post to gems....

I just wanted to let you know that I have heard Benzo s are highly addictive.... I have never taken them because of this reason... one doctor did mention them to me and I declined them.... I wanted to take nothing addictive...

You can be prescribed medication for anxiety that isn’t addictive and helps.... there are also antidepressants that can be prescribe for anxiety that isn’t addictive..... maybe ask for those.... I can get you the names of these if you want them to discuss with your doctors....

Please don’t fear having OCD ... I recommend you see a good phyciatrist or clinical psychologist for a diagnosis.... yes it is a roller coaster but you can learn to break free of it with the correct help......

im here if you want to chat 😊

[Petal22]

Hi Whatsinaname,

Me again 😊 please learn to love yourself 😊 you can.... try to change your mindset to positive thoughts.... read positive affirmations.... read a lot of them every day..... this will help to re new your mind.... you are so capable of doing this.....

I believe it’s all in our thinking the first place we loose our battle is in our thinking... YOU have the power to change your thoughts....what you tell yourself becomes your minds thoughts so tell yourself the BEST loving thoughts possible about yourself and believe them....

practice gratefulness tell yourself every morning what you are grateful for.... just waking up each day is something to be grateful for.... feeling the sun on your body.... hugging your beautiful son... your a dad...... all these things are so beautiful 😊 they are all gifts to us ... we just need to acknowledge them and see them as things to be grateful for... the lense that we see things through can change our lives....We are all miracles just by being here on Earth 😊

Feel that heart beating inside your chest that’s purpose you are supposed to be here.... keep going, keep persevering you WILL get though this....

I’m here if you want to chat

[Whatsinaname]

Thanks as always petal,

I am already on medications, the benzos take the edge off. I took then up until yesterday. Yesterday I was feeling good and thought I might be out of the woods a bit.

But today I am back to struggling.

I've been consciously pushing to meditate every day and watching positive affirmations.

Its not easy thats for darn sure

[Petal22]

Hi Whatsinaname,

Ok, I know Benzo s are highly addictive....

I know it’s hard... hang in there you will get through it.... I hope your psychologist appointment is soon.... stay close to the people you love.... you aren’t alone....

that’s great you are meditating and watching positive affirmations... keep telling yourself positive thoughts... try being mindful... have you had any practice in this? It teaches us to be in the present moment and not so much in our heads...

try going out for a walk or drive and be present.... when you feel yourself wondering back to your thoughts bring yourself back to the present moment.... it takes practice but it is achievable 😊

[Whatsinaname]

Yeah last thing I want is my body/mind to be relying on them.

I should mention I do mindful meditations. I think its helped me realised that the physical symptoms (knot kn my stomach, tightness in chest, tingling hands) makes the issue worse. Install go down the rabbit hole of being like this forever.

Even when I was feeling good yesterday I had the constant nagging of when it would happen again, just didn't expect it to be the next day.

[Petal22]

Yes definitely not...

You won’t be like this for ever Whatsinaname your condition is only temporary.... keep telling yourself that... brighter days are coming 😊 I’m living proof of it... let me be your shiny light of HOPE..... never loose HOPE...

I went through a lot of ups and downs.... some days were better than others but I’d keep telling myself to keep pushing forward and that I was going to recover... my good days ended up out weighing the bad and then anxiety vanished over time...this is possible for you too 😊 When you have a bad day tell yourself tomorrow will be a better one and believe it 😊

[Whatsinaname]

Today isn't a bad day nor a good one, but at this point I'll take it.

Really trying to push back on my inner critic. Not going amazingly but its a start.

[uncut_gems]

Hey Whatsinaname,

Glad to hear from you. As Petal22 mentioned it's important to mention that benzos are very addictive, but it sounds like you are well aware of that and hopefully know to keep an eye on things and be in touch with your doctor about your concerns. While I obviously can't provide specific medical advice, I can share that I've had very positive experiences with them situationally, usually a few times per year. Like any tool it has its uses and drawbacks.

Sounds like you've been a bit all over the place emotionally. Have you been able to talk to your partner about it at all?

I know that the prospect of a diagnosis is frightening and fraught, but you owe it to yourself and your family to give yourself the absolute best chance to understand what's troubling you so that you can begin to address it.

Good on you for meditating! It's something I've been trying to be more diligent about, and it really really does help, even if it's not sufficient on its own.

Warmly,
Gems

[Petal22]

Welldone Whatsinaname take it day by day... keep telling yourself every day WILL get better and believe it 😊 to renew your mind you need to feed it with positive thoughts which means you need to tell yourself many positive things and do it deliberately every day lots of times.... read your positive affirmations.... practice your gratefulness believe something amazing is going to happen to you today... keep doing this it will also give you positive emotions... it will eventually become a habit this way of thinking... just keep practicing 😊 I know you CAN do this.... I once had a very negative mindset but over time I’ve turned it completely around to be positive.....

Look for the positive in everything today and every day.... look at your son and watch his expressions and smile .... YOU are in him 😊

Welldone for pushing back on your inner critic you deserve a wonderful mindset keep pushing back and tell yourself you are worthy of everything good in this life 😊

wonderful things are about to happen to you 😊

switch your mentality from I’m broken and helpless to I’m growing and healing and watch how fast your life changes, for the better 😊

Also Whatsinaname please have a proper diagnosis from a good phyciatrist.... if it is OCD at least then you can get the help to learn to master your OCD..... you can do this and break free of it 😊

[Whatsinaname]

(This may be a repeat because I accidently pushed something and lost my post, dont know if I cancelled it or posted it haha, so I'll try and remember)

Thanks for the check in gems I geniunely appreciate it.

We sometimes lose sight of how self us anxious people can be. My mental illness, my life sucks etc. So its always good to talk to people how have/had the same struggles.

It is good to hear that you utilize benzos when needed as I honestly felt like a failure because I couldn't do it on my own. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs and now cut out coffee thanks to anxiety, so I'm doing everything I can but I really need to find a way to be okay with me.

To answer your question about my partner. Yes, I have the most amazing wife. She is my rock, I honestly dont know what id do without her. She has seen me at my lowest and is nothing but supportive.

I'm close with my parents and they are amazing too.

Hence why all my issues seem to revolve around my own self worth.

Today is a bit of yoyo day, but I believe meditating every night is helping me see how brutal I am to myself.