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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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sparrowhawk Getting married and not sure how to cope
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone! Little backstory to me - I’m in my 30s, have a fair bit of childhood trauma (was born with a physical condition and went through a lot of misunderstanding, discrimination and bullying, though my family is awesome). In my twenties I lived... View more

Hi everyone! Little backstory to me - I’m in my 30s, have a fair bit of childhood trauma (was born with a physical condition and went through a lot of misunderstanding, discrimination and bullying, though my family is awesome). In my twenties I lived in a religious community where I experienced emotional and psychological abuse. I left that community two years ago, very unwell with anorexia (which I now know was triggered by trauma). Since then I’ve had a lot of PTSD issues. Flashbacks, irritability, nightmares, heightened anxiety, self-blame for what happened, and social/situational avoidance. I’ve not really been treated consistently for the PTSD. I met my fiancé last year and we are getting married in October. My fiancé is wonderful, honestly the kindest person I’ve ever met, and he has been so accepting of me and my issues. I really want to marry him and I know we are meant to be together. But I just can’t cope. I can’t cope with the fact that someone wants to be with me because all I hear are the messages from my trauma. I don’t feel good enough, I don’t feel deserving of goodness, and being loved and wanted just feels like too much. I’ve been having a lot more crying episodes (picture full-on sobbing) and triggers lately and I wonder if it’s connected to that. Talking about this makes me feel a bit dumb, because who would be upset or anxious about being loved??? My natural instinct tells me it’s much better for me to be alone, because then I can’t be hurt and I can’t hurt other people, but I can’t really do that in this instance. I think the crux of it is that I feel so incredibly undeserving of all the good things I have, I just can’t cope with goodness, and it just feels like way too much. I’ve talked to my fiancé about this a little and he always tells me I am deserving and he loves me, but I don’t want to overwhelm him with this. I’ve felt very happy planning our wedding day, but now thinking about it makes me feel a little apprehensive - not that I don’t want to marry him, just that having such a day celebrating us feels like way too much for my brain, because I don’t deserve it.

Guest_08627605 Sole parent losing control
  • replies: 1

Hi - I’m a sole parent to a beautiful 10 year old boy. In the past year I’ve had 2 major surgeries and most recently my son had his tonsils and adenoids removed. I feel like i am losing control at home and constantly worrying about if he is okay or i... View more

Hi - I’m a sole parent to a beautiful 10 year old boy. In the past year I’ve had 2 major surgeries and most recently my son had his tonsils and adenoids removed. I feel like i am losing control at home and constantly worrying about if he is okay or if he has hurt himself. He needs a root canal due to trauma on a front tooth and as a single mum who can’t afford this, I just don’t know what to do. All of these health issues and worrying is taking over my mind and I’m always asking him if he’s okay or what’s wrong etc because I amso scared of him injuring himself again or being in pain that i make myself sick with worry now. I used to be so in control and happy and now I just feel down and anxious. Anyone else feel the same? I don’t know what to do next.

Caz New member
  • replies: 2

Firstly hello to all and thankyou for the opportunity to connect I have Lupus Fibromyalgia and am finding hard times of late with pain fatigue and feeling lost unable to sit in a car without feeling anxious I guess I just am hoping that there is hope

Firstly hello to all and thankyou for the opportunity to connect I have Lupus Fibromyalgia and am finding hard times of late with pain fatigue and feeling lost unable to sit in a car without feeling anxious I guess I just am hoping that there is hope

21e Thought holidays were fun
  • replies: 5

Hi, this is my frist time doing this, im not quite sure what to do but, yeah. Anyway, I had just finished semester 2 and was on a 3 week break, the first thing i get told when i get home is that my granddads cancer is back and they won't be a ble to ... View more

Hi, this is my frist time doing this, im not quite sure what to do but, yeah. Anyway, I had just finished semester 2 and was on a 3 week break, the first thing i get told when i get home is that my granddads cancer is back and they won't be a ble to stop it this time and he has 6 months at most left, so that was a great way to start the holidays, so my mum went up to Queensland to be with him before his operation to remove parts of the cancer out of his stomach so they can put a tube in but its a very dangerous surgery but if they don't put a tube in he can't eat( he can eat but the amount of cancer in his stomach makes him full really quickly). So anyway my mums been up in Queensland since about 2 weeks ago the surgerys been pushed back many times due to complications. So now we are just waiting. These holidays I've also been to a funeral of my best friends dad and my great Nan. I havent seen my Mum for like 2 weeks and i know she'll be home soon and shes up there for a reason, so ive sorta just been stuck in like a blackhole for a bit, And i know i just dumped alot on everyone and im sorry but i havent told any of my friends bc i don't wanna seem like im trying to draw attention to myself or anything and i can't talk to my dad bc my brothers going through alot at the moment with major anxiety and i know its hard for him to, but yeah. Im happy to chat to anyone, about anything, i was just hoping to talk to someone about what i feel and not feel like a burden on anyone, but ill talk about anything with anyone. Im a Huge AFL fan and love being creative and drawing

Guest_45944236 Health anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hi thanks for letting me join. I am hoping.g that by being on this forum that I might learn techniques on managing my health anxiety. I have been a suffer since I was a child. I find .most days are crippling with anxiety and the only way I Manage to ... View more

Hi thanks for letting me join. I am hoping.g that by being on this forum that I might learn techniques on managing my health anxiety. I have been a suffer since I was a child. I find .most days are crippling with anxiety and the only way I Manage to have a few hours of peace is by going to work part time in the afternoons. While I am working I have to completely focus on my client and what their needs are and this means I have no space in which to panic

Tamara Anxiety sufferer
  • replies: 6

I’m dealing with a lot of anxiety lately I’m in a constant state of fear and I have feelings of doom all of the time I can’t sleep and I’m barely hanging on everything just feels so over whelming and I feel like I have no one to talk to that understa... View more

I’m dealing with a lot of anxiety lately I’m in a constant state of fear and I have feelings of doom all of the time I can’t sleep and I’m barely hanging on everything just feels so over whelming and I feel like I have no one to talk to that understands

Guest_28495987 Anxiety intensified after accident
  • replies: 1

Hi, I’m wondering if I should go back onto an SSRI to control my rampant generalised anxiety. It’s intensified about an accident last year. I’m working hard on meditation and mindfulness, exercise and diet. I’m not sure I’m winning!

Hi, I’m wondering if I should go back onto an SSRI to control my rampant generalised anxiety. It’s intensified about an accident last year. I’m working hard on meditation and mindfulness, exercise and diet. I’m not sure I’m winning!

Anxietyridden Anxiety Ridden again
  • replies: 3

Hello Everyone. Long time no talk. I am struggling with anxiety again. I currently work 3 days a week. The pay is good but I have this feeling in me that I should be working 5 days a week as I feel bad for my husband. I know in my heart that I can't ... View more

Hello Everyone. Long time no talk. I am struggling with anxiety again. I currently work 3 days a week. The pay is good but I have this feeling in me that I should be working 5 days a week as I feel bad for my husband. I know in my heart that I can't handle 5 days a week but my mind is not helping. My middle daughter left her stable job as she wasn't happy and now cannot find another job. She has less then $100 left in her bank account and she is struggling mentally as well and I don't know how to help her. My youngest daughter who has a medical condition is not well at the moment and can't seem to get better so things are pretty tense at the moment. I had a bit of a light bulb moment the other night in regards to my mother living with us (which I am not happy with). I realised that I don't understand why I am obligated to take her in and care for her when she didn't look after me when I was younger.I just honestly feel like everyone would be better if I wasn't here with my issues but I don't know how to fix them. Sorry, I know it might not make sense I just needed to get it off my chest.

Guest_51556395 Constant anxiety and overwhelm
  • replies: 1

I have this constant feeling of overwhelm and anxiety. Currently recovering from influenza A. I just want to feel normal again

I have this constant feeling of overwhelm and anxiety. Currently recovering from influenza A. I just want to feel normal again

Guest_48639112 Feeling empty
  • replies: 2

For years, I have been feeling empty when I am by myself. I hate this feeling. I often try to have people around me by spending money on them, taking them out for dinners. While I am generous, I don’t want to use this behavior to cover my empty feeli... View more

For years, I have been feeling empty when I am by myself. I hate this feeling. I often try to have people around me by spending money on them, taking them out for dinners. While I am generous, I don’t want to use this behavior to cover my empty feeling. I want to feel cheered up without needing to be around people. I want to feel motivated to do things for myself. I want to live for myself, not just because I have to live and do my best for my young daughter. I am unable to leave the house if I don’t have someone with me. For instance, I force myself to go to the grocery store for groceries. I see psychologist every fortnight but I go back to the empty feeling as I walk out the counseling sessions. How can I stop this madness?