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Anxiety

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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Tigers2017 Anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hi I am a 64 year old male married for 40 years , great job for 41 years , homeowner and due to move and retire - So why am I stressed ? Have a son been in jail , a wife who went thru bowel cancer a daughter looking for love and they are pretty happy... View more

Hi I am a 64 year old male married for 40 years , great job for 41 years , homeowner and due to move and retire - So why am I stressed ? Have a son been in jail , a wife who went thru bowel cancer a daughter looking for love and they are pretty happy so why not me . Had a couple recent stints in hospital with a bad heart but nothing wrong with it? All stress on my behalf yep have some prostate issues and some old footy injuries giving me grief but life compared to some others is bloody good, So why do I think so negative when I put my head on the pillow ? Negative thoughts and not happy ones about our life together next few years first time on so love some feedback who to see and how to change

byuuy892 Constantly reliving negative social memories?
  • replies: 3

Hello. My mind will constantly pop up with negative social memories from my past, particularly from late primary school and high school. I've been having this issue since around 2018. I'm in my early 20s and haven't socialised much since, hence not m... View more

Hello. My mind will constantly pop up with negative social memories from my past, particularly from late primary school and high school. I've been having this issue since around 2018. I'm in my early 20s and haven't socialised much since, hence not many opportunities for new negative memories (but some exist). Context:I've had persistently negative social experiences for a long period (or so I perceive). I was a very shy kid. From around the age of 10 I felt I was being mistreated socially, my mental health became overall negative, and has been there ever since. The core beliefs I have developed are something along the lines of "I'm unlikeable" and that "I don't know how to socialise". I remember having severe levels of social anxiety in school (sore stomach before school, constantly keeping hands in pockets, being unable to speak properly, etc). Whilst I'm socially anxious now, it's no where near to the same extent. Although my "social performance" still feels inadequate. Types of Memories:- Times people mistreated me (bullied, excluded, mocked, etc.)- Instances where I perceive that people disliked me (telling me to shut up, giving me that "why are you here" sort of look, etc).- Embarrassing things I did (usually the things need to imply that I'm unlikeable or socially incompetent, otherwise they aren't a big deal)- Times I was bad to others (I didn't do this super often, but I feel severe guilt about it) My question:So, what can I do to assuage/stop the constant reliving of negative memories I experience? Even if I assume I am unlikeable etc., I just don't see how constantly reliving the memories serves me. It's torturing me for no benefit, every day. It feels like something unresolved that my mind has been in severe strife about for a very long time. I understand people with PTSD will relive their memories, but that's much more understandable to me, it would be very difficult to process those sorts of experiences. It's driving me insane. Is this something I just have to accept until I maybe solve my social isolation/struggles in the future? Is this some rare issue only I face? What do I do?

blues23 The difficulty of making decisions
  • replies: 2

At the moment I’m really trying to justify staying in my job the hours are so bad like approximately 9 hours per week this fluctuates every fortnight and I’m basically struggling to keep bills rent ect to survive, I’ve asked my boss for more work to ... View more

At the moment I’m really trying to justify staying in my job the hours are so bad like approximately 9 hours per week this fluctuates every fortnight and I’m basically struggling to keep bills rent ect to survive, I’ve asked my boss for more work to fill up my rosters even go work in the nursing homes or do ad hoc duties which I got no reply back from my boss , the difficulty of staying is how to justify going to work for 3 hours , 1.5 hours ect each day and travelling 45 minutes to do said job of 3 hours or 1.6 hours, the difficulty of leaving while trying to get another job which I’ve been looking for months and no success. I kinda fell I’m stuck and my savings are running out I’ve got drs, a few specialists cause I have health problems and I can’t afford to go see them cause my wage or part of it goes on rent and food even now I’ll have to extend my gas bill cause I can’t afford to pay it this week because I only have a few 100 dollars left and i have to see a specialist this week as well which is 160$ down the drain , life is really hard right now with the lack of work hours and I can’t sleep much for thinking how will i manage to keep enough in the bank til pay day there’s no relief and no easy answer im on centerlink but even that with the little pay i get off work is constantly not enough to make ends meet.

Kane We're to find friends who have social anxiety
  • replies: 2

Hi my name is kane and I have suffered social anxiety as long as I can remember so i find it quite difficult to meet people and have become very isolated which leads to depression feeling low,low confidence and self worth . I would like to ask people... View more

Hi my name is kane and I have suffered social anxiety as long as I can remember so i find it quite difficult to meet people and have become very isolated which leads to depression feeling low,low confidence and self worth . I would like to ask people who have experienced this as part of there life and slowly get some of my life back with people

Guest_78401401 Post Social Event Anxiety
  • replies: 2

Over the last few years I have found myself increasingly anxious after social events. I usually feel anxious leading up to the event and often find reasons to avoid it. When Im in the situation I relax and enjoy it. Then after for days I play the con... View more

Over the last few years I have found myself increasingly anxious after social events. I usually feel anxious leading up to the event and often find reasons to avoid it. When Im in the situation I relax and enjoy it. Then after for days I play the conversations over and over, feel exposed, vulnerable and embarrassed and very anxious. Its consuming. Is this something others experience? How do you cope? I used to be so social and carefree, but even old memoroes that used to be joyful cause me distress.

RescueKitty Workplace Bullying Part 1
  • replies: 1

I've been on the receiving end of being bullied by some of my co-workers, one in particular for a while now. I'm not the only person being bullied by her, nearly everyone has been bullied by her. It started when I returned back to work in 2021 after ... View more

I've been on the receiving end of being bullied by some of my co-workers, one in particular for a while now. I'm not the only person being bullied by her, nearly everyone has been bullied by her. It started when I returned back to work in 2021 after recovering from a back injury, she was a new hire and constantly on my back about every little thing. Eventually I told her that I know exactly how to do my job, if the manager has an issue with my work she can bring it to my attention herself and that she should focus on her work instead of mine as I was feeling harassed.Since then she started reporting ME for bullying HER. For example, I was on the phone with a customer and at the same time she was speaking to me and started to raise her voice to tell me inaccurate information about what she thought I was discussing with the customer. With the call on hold I told her I was busy with a customer, I've got it thanks, but if she wanted to speak with me, she shouldn't be yelling misinformation at me while I'm with a customer. She immediately went into our managers office, I go back to my phone call, customer heard the yelling asked if everything was okay. When the call was completed I can hear her crying to the manager and when she comes out of the office and passes me she gives me the stink eye before leaving. My manager comes out a few seconds later and she told me that she saw everything that happened through the mirrored window between her office and the reception office where I work and that the co-worker had reported me for my tone and disrespect for "ignoring her" while I was on the phone. Similar instances kept happening to the point where I isolated myself from her at work because she would turn any interaction we had into me bullying her. Making me anxious about any interaction I had with her, costing my job. Other staff members came forward to support my version of events a lot. But everything still takes its toll. I remember reporting her for non-compliance with our employee code of conduct for promoting her private business to customer that would come to our workplace after I had multiple phone calls and people walking in to reception asking for her to discuss her business. The senior manager at the time said I was being PETTY and to only report serious matters. Now, I feel like I can't report her for her bullying towards me. Even though my direct manager sees whats happening, the Senior manager (who now works in the HR department) favors my bully.

Guest_64036479 I’m so overwhelmed. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs!!!
  • replies: 3

I’ve been through a lot.but lately it’s been my youngest boys 2 surgeries and my dog having cancer removed. His tail was amputated and another mast cell cut from his leg. It hasn’t healed, so I’m taking him to the vet 3 x per week to get his dressing... View more

I’ve been through a lot.but lately it’s been my youngest boys 2 surgeries and my dog having cancer removed. His tail was amputated and another mast cell cut from his leg. It hasn’t healed, so I’m taking him to the vet 3 x per week to get his dressing’s changed and I argued the removal of his cancer with my husband. I’m the one taking care of him all the time and taking him to the vets for his dressing change! I’m so angry and upset! I’m the one who had to get my son’s leg cut off and reattached with massive surgery!!!!! I’m always the one trying to make sure everyone is okay!!!!! I’m so broken

Flowergirl97 Never finding my place
  • replies: 8

Hello,I have always been known as a shy person whereas my older sister has always been very outgoing so I felt like I grew up in her shadow. As a child I found it hard to see my positive qualities and never saw introversion as a strength because ever... View more

Hello,I have always been known as a shy person whereas my older sister has always been very outgoing so I felt like I grew up in her shadow. As a child I found it hard to see my positive qualities and never saw introversion as a strength because everyone around me criticised me for being shy and I grew up hating my shyness. Maybe because of my shyness or other reasons I always felt self conscious and rarely felt comfortable around people who weren’t my immediate family. When I was 7 years old my family moved country and I rarely saw my loving grandparents again and felt like my family consisted of only my parents and older sister. During my teenage years I struggled with disordered eating and despite doing well at school felt very self conscious in class and found everyday things overwhelming and felt like I was out of step with the other students. I found it difficult to envisage what I would do as a career but wasn’t too concerned because I still had a lot of time to decide. I decided I loved art and music and tried to force myself to do drama so that I wouldn’t be so shy. When I was 17 my parents decided to divorce. It came as a shock but sort of validated why I had felt unhappy as a teenager. Beforehand I had started to feel distant from my parents and they had been going through other things they had reason to be stressed about. My Mum had suggested I talk to someone about my disordered eating but I felt so much shame and distrust in people that I hated the idea. I also hid how I was feeling and was already known to be shy so not many people seemed to notice how unhappy I was. Now I’m in my late 20s and I’ve finally seen a psychologist for about two years. I recently moved to a new city and although I’ve completed a bachelor degree in science I’m finding it hard to get a job. A lot of the same feelings have come up that I used to feel, they’ve never really gone away. I do understand myself a lot better than I ever have in the past and now see there are strengths that introverts have. But I’m still struggling to enjoy my life, like myself and make friends… and being unemployed sucks. Sometimes it just feels like I can’t catch a break. I’ve been through so much and would love to have a healthy romantic relationship, strong friendships, a meaningful job, and enjoy my life but sometimes it feels like I’ll never get there. I am starting to blame myself for not choosing a definitive career path sooner. I committed to university only to come out the other side with more doubts and uncertainties about my career than I had when I started. I feel like I’ve missed out on so many opportunities because I am an introvert. I’ve worked so hard at my education and the most recent jobs I have had and still feel like I’m never doing the things I truly want to be doing. I’ve also struggled to accept my sexuality and have disliked my body ever since I returned to a healthier weight. So there’s been a lot for me to deal with and maybe I’ve been self sabotaging myself all along, I don’t know for sure. Today I just felt really sad and unsure of what to focus on in my life because I have a lot of interests but something always seems to go sour at some point and I stop doing something I once loved

MandyR Dissociative Identity Disorder
  • replies: 12

Do you have Dissociative Identity Disorder? Many people live with D.I.D all over the world. DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER Dissociative identity disorder is a survival mechanism of the brain. It is more of an ability that keeps a child alive througho... View more

Do you have Dissociative Identity Disorder? Many people live with D.I.D all over the world. DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER Dissociative identity disorder is a survival mechanism of the brain. It is more of an ability that keeps a child alive throughout continual and ongoing abuse in early childhood. Much like surviving a traumatic car accident, trauma to the head can result in the brain shutting down in order to cope with the enormity of the damage afflicted. The brain is protecting itself. With D.I.D this then results in shutting down of self also. Memory becomes separated and these separated memories may remain dormant until they are accessible again in later years when memory recall of the abuse events become active(flashbacks). The memories are also affected at the time by the child's perception of self and the world around them. Memories combined with self perception contribute toward the development of individual parts of self. These separations also called fracturing create new and separate sense of self resulting in separated parts of identity. The separated parts of self then become individual and can function separately from one another with individual characteristics and personalities. Not all separated parts have a personality they may only carry characteristic traits. The original term Multiple Personality was changed to Dissociative Identity because this is more than just personality changes. The new name now used, DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER, is because of the extreme level of dissociation needed to survive the abuse and the reason the separations are able to happen.” Mandy 2020

Lize Anxiety and worries
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I have been out for a long time from my profession and just recently decided to go back. I am having lots of anxiety and worries since I started my training. I saw how everyone is fast and able to do their task on time. I got so scared that I... View more

Hi all, I have been out for a long time from my profession and just recently decided to go back. I am having lots of anxiety and worries since I started my training. I saw how everyone is fast and able to do their task on time. I got so scared that I might not be able to cope with fast pace of the job. I am thinking that I won’t be able to catch up and learn how it works. I am worried that I will make a huge mistake. Next week they will give me task that is making me more anxious. Thinking that I should give up this profession.