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Horrible week
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Hi everyone,
I'm having a horrible week, so just thought I would post to see how everyone else is going?
I'm having a hard time getting out of the shame spiral this week, but trying to remember this is only temporary.
Anyway, hope others are well, happy to chat about anything.
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Hey Whatsinaname,
The shame spiral is such a great name for it! I know exactly what you mean, all the ruminating etc. Despite your horrible week, I'm happy to report that it's very nearly over.
Do you have any plans for the weekend?
Warmly,
Gems
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Hi Gems,
Thanks for the reply.
Depending on the weather I do hope to get out of this house, even if it's to someone elses house just to escape this routine for even a moment.
How about you?
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Hi Whatsinaname,
Yes, get out if you can! It's so important to break up the monotony and see some friends (safely). This weekend I might go to the beach if the weather is nice, but on Monday I'm leaving for a short trip so will probably be cleaning, packing, and resting. Also movies!
Where I am it's coming up on 2, so just a bit left of this rotten week.
Happy to chat more 🙂
Gems
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I ended up cutting a sicky for the rest of the afternoon because I couldn't concentrate anyway.
Now at the inlaws place so my little boy can go crazy.
I love seeing him happy but at the same time it makes me feel sad. Not sure if that's because I'm finding it impossible myself or the continual fear that I will one day lose him.
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Aw I didn't know you had a son! It's good that he's able to get some energy out and see his grandparents. I can imagine the bittersweet mix of seeing someone you care so much about be carefree and happy, but at the same time mourn that you don't feel that way anymore. Do you mind my asking why you fear you will one day lose him?
No worries if you want to wait to chat about heavier stuff after the weekend– you should go and have some fun 🙂
Gems
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I still have the black dog barking at me, but since seeing the inlaws I do feel much better.
Its hard to see the forest from the trees.
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Its amazing how much I relate to him and it does make it easier to know others struggle as well, especially another dad.
Last thing I ever want is for my son to deal with mental health struggles
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I hadn't heard of Lunarbaboon until you just mentioned it, but I googled it and saw a few strips. It brought a smile to my face! So life-affirming and sweet, especially the ones that touch on depression. It sounds like you're doing the absolute best you can for your son, and that's all anyone can ask of a parent. It's possible your son will have his own mental health struggles at some point, but that's not knowable or adressable right now. The best thing you can do is be there for/with him and make the most of his childhood, which although I'm not a parent myself I understand goes by in the blink of an eye.
I've had conversations with my own father as an adult where he expressed to me similar concerns about not being good enough, about passing on his own mental health issues, and so on. I truly didn't know he felt that way, and it was so freeing to tell him that I felt his fears were unfounded. Depending on his age, it may be many years before your son is able to appreciate that when he was a kid you were a person with your own mistakes and struggles as well. It's certainly something I've come to understand my own parents as a young adult and it's made me more grateful that despite everything they were still able to be there for me, as it sounds like you are for your son.
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All I want is the best for him, but sometimes I'm not sure that involves me. Like, I find comfort know if something happened to be he would be loved by my parents and inlaws.
Its a strange notion as I have no plan on leave, although I do "disappear" into myself when I have weeks like this.
I just hope he is happy, forever haha