For many years I have been dealing with depression and anxiety. The first bout 13 years ago was traumatic. For the third time in 6 months an overwhelming fear of going back there has come to me, despite my depression being very mild. This time it's much worse owing to a return of a particular symptom.
I am having major problems with my sleep. Not sleeping I can cope with but I'm having highly distressing symptoms of anxiety - palpitations and a lurching of my stomach (really horrible) as I'm dropping off, and so waking me up. Eventually, back then, I found I didn't want to sleep because of the symptoms. The high alert my mind is on stops sleeping tablets working.I have been working on my breathing. I keep reminding myself that I was very ill then and although this is happening it is only one part of that episode. My fear seems to override these things. All those years ago the problem went as soon as I began to respond to anti depressants.
So I have to live with this. Two very good friends assure me that the fear that sneaked in for no reason will go again as I continue to get on with my life, which I can manage even with very poor sleep. I don't think I've levelled out with my sleeping problem yet and I wonder if that is making my fear worse.I go to see my gp on Tues.
This is 99% association is it not? In Scotland it's dark and wet. It was the same time then that these symptoms were worst. I wonder if it would be just as bad if it were Summer.
Perhaps everyone has their own demons in their illness and I guess we're all different. This is one of mine. I don't think there are any answers on this but if anyone could advise me as a way I could see this without getting so scared I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks, Helen
