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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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BeeBianca1 Anxiety and overthinking
  • replies: 5

Hi Guys, I began to have what I think was anxiety around 5 years ago, I am now 23... I have been able to cope with it up until early in December around my Birthday when my partner had taken me out for a nice dinner. We had just ordered, when all of a... View more

Hi Guys, I began to have what I think was anxiety around 5 years ago, I am now 23... I have been able to cope with it up until early in December around my Birthday when my partner had taken me out for a nice dinner. We had just ordered, when all of a sudden out of no sitting in a not so crowded restaurant I felt this churning in my stomach a mix between fear and nausea, my heart rate was going a million miles an hour, the lump in my throat and heavy chest and with that came the sweats and what was sheer panic that I couldn't shake. I could barely talk let along try and pretend to my boyfriend that I was ok! The next day I woke up to the exact same feelings. The fear of going 'crazy' lasted another two weeks, I tried everything natural under the sun to calm me, exercise, camomile tea, vitamin b, relaxation tapes, breathing, rescue remedy I had been down that path with a Psychologist before which worked but now, nothing really helped and I was so tired, exhausted my the constant over thinking. I then convinced myself that I was having a heart attack one night in all of this because of a pain in my chest (something I had checked months ago) all came back fine but because of the anxiety I thought the worst of the worst. I am now seeing a psychologist, she said she thinks is generalised anxiety so I sort of understand it but still on my path to 'recovery' and there is a lot bullshit to try and let go of, but this time I have a safety net for when I am feeling like this and it is reassuring. I still feel very alone, what is your anxiety like? Do you feel like your going Crazy? Do you also get these 'uncontrollable' thoughts of negativity that feed off your worst fears? Does anyone feel better and can it be controlled or am I a lost cause??? I know one thing though, this isn't going to beat me, I never stop myself from doing anything even if I feel so low or anxious because I don't want to create a fear and make it harder on myself. I am going to do everything in my power to control my anxiety, I research without trying to freak myself out, I am going to take up meditation and exercise more, cut down the hours of study to better manage my work/life/study balance and want to be a mentor to others who want to help themselves because even though I feel alone I know that I am not, well I am telling myself that... I would love your feedback. Bianca

Stuck_In_The_Middle is chest pain a sign of anxiety?
  • replies: 1

hi, can anyone tell me if chest pain can be a sign of anxiety? Just this morning I had a slight pain for a moment, and happened on a couple of other occasions in last couple of weeks. My brother had suffered severe anxiety attacks which resulted in h... View more

hi, can anyone tell me if chest pain can be a sign of anxiety? Just this morning I had a slight pain for a moment, and happened on a couple of other occasions in last couple of weeks. My brother had suffered severe anxiety attacks which resulted in him going to hospital as he thought he was having a heart attack. I've noticed this has happened while im at work. Both yesterday and today im not having such a good day emotionally, even my husband could tell, asking me twice of im ok? ive been feeling irritable the past 2 days, just the sound of people chatting around me gets on my nerves, and have been losing my patience with some work colleagues recently (had major argument a couple of weeks ago which I lost it at the person, this has never happened before). im on antidepressants, not sure if I need them changed but im finding hard to go back to the doctor to talk about it.

Andrew1972 PTSD and anxiety
  • replies: 3

Hello Lost my sister and hubby in a car crash Never really been the same ever since. Have like generalised anxiety Changed my diet Been exercising Need to get of my anti depressants so I can feel again Seeing a naturopath who is helping Just get anxi... View more

Hello Lost my sister and hubby in a car crash Never really been the same ever since. Have like generalised anxiety Changed my diet Been exercising Need to get of my anti depressants so I can feel again Seeing a naturopath who is helping Just get anxious all the time Had some CBT Just need to talk about it, it help me move on Hobbies - lost interest Need to get back on my horse again Anyone in a similar boat ? A

daniel81 my battle
  • replies: 1

Just when I think I'm coping, it has come back again. Anxiety. Debilitating anxiety that affects my life in so many negative ways. This all started when my first child was born. It was a long labour for my wife so I couldn't cope and my feelings of a... View more

Just when I think I'm coping, it has come back again. Anxiety. Debilitating anxiety that affects my life in so many negative ways. This all started when my first child was born. It was a long labour for my wife so I couldn't cope and my feelings of anxiety forced me to flee and leave her for a few hours to try and get some rest.When my second child came along i feared the labour would last just as long as fell into a spell of anxiety & insomnia for about a week a few months before he was born. Of course, with after each birth the anxiety left. unfortunately my wife became depressed due to her inability to breast feed. But I was able to stay strong and support her. I even quit my job and took on the role of stay at home dad.this has been great.I am studying to become a teacher via distance education and photographing the occasional wedding. Now, both these things have brought up my levels of anxiety to the point where I saw my gp and he prescribed me medication.My first prac as a teacher was great. No anxiety and a great support teacher and class. My second prac was awful. I had just started medication so my body was adjusting. The class was not great and the teacher left me alone with them very early in the piece. She was not as supportive as my first associate and I didn't like her methods in the classroom. This caused me to have a bout of panic attacks and leave uni for a year. I began to feel better and coached my eldest boys soccer team to see if I still had the passion for teaching. Turns out I did so I re enrolled in uni and completed a few more subjects.Now I am due to redo my prac and the anxiety has returned. Not much sleep, no energy, strange body sensations. I went back to my gp and he upped my dose of medication. I have lined up my prac with a friend from soccer and explained my situation re anxiety. He has been understanding and I am going to try and ease myself into the classroom again. I also get very nervous before photographing weddings. I manage to keep it together though and get through the day, albeit a little tired. Its so hard dealing with these feelings. I want to face my fears because I know I will do a good job both teaching and photographing.I want to do the right thing for my wife as she may fall back into depression should I not recover. It would be so easy to just quit uni but I fear I will never forgive myself if I did. Nor would I recover completely living with that regret.

Confused23 When does normal stress/worry become anxiety
  • replies: 5

I've always been a person that worries about a lot of things. When I was in primary school I was terrified of natural disasters (honestly I still am) so much that I would randomly start crying in class and asked to skip lessons based on those topics.... View more

I've always been a person that worries about a lot of things. When I was in primary school I was terrified of natural disasters (honestly I still am) so much that I would randomly start crying in class and asked to skip lessons based on those topics. In high school I started stressing about many different things like school work (I became a perfectionist), friends, germs/diseases, out of space (asteroids, black holes), war, terrorist attacks and school shootings and the my mum's health (she got breast cancer when I was in grade 9). It got to a point where I felt sick all the time, couldn't concentrate on what was happening around me and I would have panic attacks where I couldn't breathe properly and felt like I needed to hide in a corner. A few times I even considered self harm because I wanted to see if it would help. So at the recommendation of my GP I went to a psychologist for about a year and I got better. I learnt a lot of strategies and I stopped feeling anxious all the time. Now, 3-4 years later, I've found my anxiety starting to increase again. I've figured out that it started to get worse when my sister came out as being bisexual about 6months ago. Personally I don't have an issue with it but it was a very tense time in my house and I was very worried about what the effects of this would be for my sister and family. I started to have trouble getting to sleep some nights, craving approval from my parents and managers and getting really worried about things like natural disaster, war etc. like before. I've just sort of been plodding along, using my strategies and dealing with it. But a week ago I went on a trip with a group from university to conservation work in Tasmania. I was so so nervous about going on the trip because I hate flying (I normally feel sick the whole time and there's often tears) and I was worried about meeting all the people on the trip. I got really frustrated with myself on the trip because I was so nervous about being around these new people that I wasn't myself. A few times I caught myself saying in my head what I should have been saying out loud (like in group discussions) and I felt nervous every time I had to talk to people (I've never really had trouble talking to people before). I kept wondering what everyone thought of me and stressing about the smallest things (like if they thought my clothes looked daggy or if they were judging me for having the biggest bag). And from this I snowballed into other worries - like what if something really bad happened while I was away from my family (natural disaster, war, house fire, car crash). After a few days it got better and I relaxed a lot more. But it got me thinking, does everyone else feel like this? I don't know how much is a normal amount to worry about things. I've just been putting up with this for years and I'm started to get really fed up with always worrying about things!! I'm starting to get really frustrated with myself too. I just don't know if this level of anxiety is normal or if it's something that could get better with some more help.

Baybeegal Anxiety, depression and intrusive thoughts help!
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, for a year I have battled with anxiety, depression and intrusive thoughts. has anyone overcome the intrusive thoughts? If so how often do you get them? Also any tips on how to get rid of them? thank you

Hi everyone, for a year I have battled with anxiety, depression and intrusive thoughts. has anyone overcome the intrusive thoughts? If so how often do you get them? Also any tips on how to get rid of them? thank you

Anna_vc I don't know where to begin
  • replies: 2

Hello I’m Anna, I’m new here.. I don’t really know where to start… guess I’ll just lay it all out..? 4 years ago I attempted suicide and spent some time in hospital, while I was in hospital I was diagnosed with PTSD. I was prescribed medication and i... View more

Hello I’m Anna, I’m new here.. I don’t really know where to start… guess I’ll just lay it all out..? 4 years ago I attempted suicide and spent some time in hospital, while I was in hospital I was diagnosed with PTSD. I was prescribed medication and it was recommended I go to counselling sessions and make a mental health plan with my GP when I came out of hospital. I started to do those things and was placed on a long waiting list for counselling, it all eventually fizzled out and I went about my life pretending the ‘episode’ never happened. I stopped taking the medication because I didn’t like feeling different to my friends and It was hard to wake up in the mornings (I was 20 at the time). So here we are now 4 years later, things have been great. I am engaged to someone wonderful, I have a job that I still cant believe I got and a very supportive family, I hate pets I love like my children and a great social life. I am due to get married in December. I have had night terrors since a young age which I can cope with fine, they’re disturbing but usually I can forget about them by the morning. But I have started getting what I suspect are panic attacks. One minute I’m fine and the next minute I will think about something that stresses me out the tiniest bit and my heart starts racing, I have a sick feeling in my stomach, I cant breathe – I literally start choking and gasping for air, my body goes rigid and I throw up. I just collapse into a heap crying and trying to breathe. I have lost control of my bowels a few times which is incredibly embarrassing. I had an attack in front of my fiancé once and he tried to call an ambulance because he thought I was having a seizure. I felt as though I could deal with these attacks even though they leave me exhausted and drained. But yesterday morning I couldn’t get out of bed, I kept thinking about going to work and my heart started racing and I got the sick feeling in my stomach and I tried, I just kept snoozing my alarm and saying one more minute and I just couldn’t do it. I lied to my co-workers and said I had a stomach bug and told my partner I wanted a day to get housework done but none of it was true. I’m meant to be happy and have this under control but thoughts keep creeping into my head and I just walk around all day with the sick feeling (it feels almost like guilt and nausea) until it boils over. I can pinpoint a few things that bring these feelings on. I am unbelievably stressed about money, we are both on decent wages but I will never be where I want in life because I have a bad credit rating and I know that this has really held my fiancé back and I feel SO guilty about it. I feel sick when I think about seeing my mother because I was in foster care (for reasons I don’t wish to discuss) when I was younger and then went to live with relatives and feel abandoned by her even though I have seen her at least once a year since then and never felt anxious about it before. I feel anxious about telling people I lived with relatives. I feel fat all the time (what woman doesn’t? haha) and I feel dumb and stupid all the time. I don’t feel as though I can contribute to intelligent conversation and the meetings we have at work because I’m so stupid. I don’t think I can pull off the wedding I want to because I’m not resourceful enough. I have a million more of these stupid little worries floating around in my head and they are drowning me. When I was in hospital I lied and said I didn’t want to die I just wanted everything to stop, I just wanted to feel nothing for a while but I did want to die, I just felt guilty for my family for having to deal with me and didn’t want to hurt them anymore. I wish I hadn’t of lied and then maybe I wouldn’t feel the way I do now. I know there are solutions to my problems but at this moment in time I just needed to vent abit. I have so many more things I could write but there’s no point because I’m not unique and my situation is not unique and I should just get over it. My problems aren’t that bad. Sorry. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. 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Athryn My head and me
  • replies: 2

Hi All, I've had mental health issues for the last 5 years after my first long term relationship ended. We were together for 6 years and when it ended it kind of blew up in my face. I have now been diagnosed with Agoraphobia, Anxiety and Bi Polar. It... View more

Hi All, I've had mental health issues for the last 5 years after my first long term relationship ended. We were together for 6 years and when it ended it kind of blew up in my face. I have now been diagnosed with Agoraphobia, Anxiety and Bi Polar. It seems the first feeds the second which activates the third. The strangest part of it all is my walk to and from my car before and after work each day. In the morning I have no problems with agoraphobia, I have no anxiety. I feel completely calm and relaxed. On the way back to the car in the afternoon on the other hand, it's always rather traumatic. As soon as I walk out of my building in the afternoon it starts. I get dizzy and start to hyperventilate. I even have trouble walking in a straight line. It's only about a 300m walk but it feels like the longest walk in the world. It's something I have to look forward to every day and it's something I've had to go through after work everyday for the last 5 years. So needless to say I'm a bit of a mess most of the time. I've tried therapy which didn't work. It seems talking about my mental health to someone pushes my anxiety. Medication never works for longer than a couple of months as my head builds an immunity to it. Meditation seems to only work while meditating. As soon as I stop everything comes back. Breathing exercises don't seem to work either. So most of the time I just put my head down and try and power through. Which leaves me exhausted by the end of the day. The one thing that does help is animals. We have two cats, 3 fish tanks and a lizard. There have been two occasions when I came home to prepare for suicide but it was my animals that saved me. Here's hoping they will continue to do so. Thanks for reading.

jacques fear of everything & getting worse
  • replies: 2

I have had high anxiety and depression for all of my life, and have suffered severe anxiety and depression for the past 13 years. I was only able to go to TAFE after I finished year 12 for a few days per week and for the past 7 years I have been lock... View more

I have had high anxiety and depression for all of my life, and have suffered severe anxiety and depression for the past 13 years. I was only able to go to TAFE after I finished year 12 for a few days per week and for the past 7 years I have been locked inside my home, the only time leaving home for medical appointments and my early morning walk. I am unable to answer the telephone or answer the front door, even for family or friends.I have not had any contact with friends since 2002, and very little contact with family (once a year for two relatives and the others no contact in 8 years). And I have never had a girlfriend because I would not like to inflict my problems on a potential girlfriend, like I have done to my mother. I have many times brought her to tears because a friend or relative just wanted to say hello to me.The last time I had a social outing was when I was 19, I am now 32, I have spent all of my 20's locked inside my house in fear, and it looks like I am going to spend all of my 30's living in fear as well.My life has been destroyed for the past 7 years because I have been unable to get any centrelink payments. I applied for disability support but was deemed as having “no problems” and I am unable to apply for new start allowance because I would be required to look for work and complete work for the dole which I am unable to do because I can't leave the house.My mother has been kind enough to give me some money $35.00 per fortnight for food, electricity and a monthly magazine and she supplies me with a $20.00 pair of shoes per year for my morning walk.Friends and relatives do not understand that I am emotionally and financially unable to leave the house, trying to get them to understand I have social anxiety and have to ration my shoes as so not to ware them out before the end of the year is difficult if not impossible to explain.I have several panic attacks per day and am unable to sleep at night, if I do want to sleep I have to tire myself out to the point of exhaustion just to get a few hours sleep.I have not had a night away from home since 1994 because I suffer greatly from separation anxiety, I don't think it is being away from my parents but being away from the family home. I feel so ashamed not being able to be away from the house overnight or get a job like everyone else is able to do.Every morning I wake up I try to think of a reason to keep going on, my life has steadily gotten worse over the past 13 years, I have tried medication to control the anxiety but it only works to control the anxiety while I am at home and doesn’t have much effect when out in public.The only reason I have not committed suicide yet is because my mother relies on me to maintain the house. Because she has to give me what little she has (she is on widows allowance $520 per fortnight) she has little money to spend on trades persons. The way my mother has to live because of me gives me great anxiety and guilt she has gone without a refrigerator for 4 years and without a hot water system for 1 year (the hot water system has recently been replaced by kind relatives). My condition worries my mother, and I fear I have destroyed her life like I have mine. Sometimes I wonder if she would be better off If I did die, at least she would have money and be able to invite people around without having to worry how I will react to them.She is unable to leave the house too as she has no spare money because she has to give that money to me. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Closed_Down Closed Down.
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone. Firstly, thanks heaps to Mares 73 for the encouragement and guidance to get started. Cheers! Have already posted some of my story elsewhere.( wrong spot), so I'll start again, try and remember how I put it together. Married nearly 29 yea... View more

Hi everyone. Firstly, thanks heaps to Mares 73 for the encouragement and guidance to get started. Cheers! Have already posted some of my story elsewhere.( wrong spot), so I'll start again, try and remember how I put it together. Married nearly 29 years,(25 that probably really only count.) Arrived at a time in life where we should be ready to enjoy the next phase. Sure, we've travelled a few times, and I thought we were moving forward. Must admit, I had shut down to a point. 10 years ago a suspected affair that I'm 90% sure happened.......... created doubt in my mind along with anxiety. Short time passed, and I overcame the Anxiety, and yet, put "a wall" up that I couldn't crack. My doubts lingered. She has never really been the person to be content with what we have.....doesn't last. Always "moving the goal posts", Nearly 3 years ago we have a "trial separation" for 11 months......Yeah right. I don't know what's going to happen. Have this carrot dangling in my face for 11 months and finally, I can't do it anymore. Anxiety for 3 years wondering. An Affair before we separated, Another one during the time apart,and Observers who who watched her chasing blokes left right and centre.I call it, but NO, loves me and wants me back.....she's ready. SUCKER, I come back buy new house together,( "We're going to start again and rebuild"). After 2 years back together and signs of being "played" again. The gut feeling it's not right, not getting better, feeling I'd made the right decision 2 years ago! I'm out. Using meds and Alcohol to ease the Anxiety.......NOT GOOD. So much counselling over the past few years, and now looking at potential inpatient care if deemed necessary to beat the Anxiety/Depression.Want my life back........Anyone relate? What's your story. How you coping?