wrong place, wrong time

Guest_3712 · ‎31-03-2014

hey friends,

so confused just posted on anxiety forum should have been here, but then again I am now so anxious that I did it wrong.............

having a bad day, week, month

need to see psych but too embarrassed to go

such a loser, can't even achieve the goals we set last time, and then make matters worse with new anxiety trait

trying to breathe

it's a beautiful day here but my mood makes it cloudy and dull

Stressless

Neil_1 · ‎31-03-2014

Hi Stressless

Take a deep breathe and hold .... and then let out. 4 or 5 of those babies will be good for you ... if not, it was good for me. 🙂

It's a beautiful day ... are you able to get out for a walk or just take a coffee or cup of tea or water outside and sit somewhere in the sun. Check out some autumn tree colours doing their gorgeous changing act.

No no no ... you shouldn't feel embarassed to see your psych ... they're professionals; they'll understand. Hells bells, we are no professionals and you write stuff on here and no-one judges you here; we're in your corner all the way and we don''t want you to be embarassed, because there's nothing to be embarassed for.

Ok, you had some goals last time, but you weren't able to get them done. That's cool - that is no worries and if your psych tell you otherwise then you tell me and I'll go and see 'em!!!! I'll make them an offer they can't refuse!!

So deep breathes please - try and capture some beautiful 'tree/leaf' moments this arve and above all, try not stress about the goals thing. Stressless, please do your name. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Neil

ps: you are definitely NOT a loser.

Mares73 · ‎31-03-2014

Hey special one! You are having a really hard time & getting overwhelmed by anything & everything. I really feel for you as anxiety can be like being jailed in darkness with no light or escape routes. I know that trauma where you are so sick it's like being on the highest most dangerous skyscraper where your stomach is in knots, your body is rigid with fear but your mind is racing so fast that you can't keep up with the thoughts and you feel as though your going to stop breathing. It's absolute terror & sometimes I wonder if the anxiety causes or develops into depression as its such an awful experience. Stress less please go & see pyschiatrist? Please? Last thing you need is to feel ashamed-pyschiatrists have chosen to work with people with a mental illness-& they get paid very well for it so please remember that. Sorry-please remind me do you still have the same Psych or are you seeing a new one? And if you've read my latest post you'll know how much I can relate to self medicating. Your in my heart. Thinking of you, Love Mares xx

Guest_3712 · ‎31-03-2014

hey Mares,

hope you had a positive experience while you were away and thanks for replying.

I'm not sure what came first with me because until I had a breakdown and went into hospital I didn't even know I had depression and the anxiety I am feeling now is like nothing I have felt before.

I didn't see my psych because I got called in to work at the last moment. I was hoping he would ring me tonight ( he usually does if I cancel) but maybe he is finally sick of my crap.

I have had the same psych for 4 years. He was assigned to me in hospital and I have continued seeing him . I am ashamed that I never live up to peoples expectations- my psych included.

I desperately need praise and encouragement. My confidence and self esteem is still very low so it doesn't take much for me to drag myself along the ground.

thanks again

be kind to yourself

Stressless

Guest_3712 · ‎31-03-2014

hey Neil,

Sorry it's late but I have only just opened laptop

I was called into work at the last moment, so at least I had a legit reason for cancelling psych today.

I know what you are saying about it not being a big deal if I missed my goals and for most people I guess this is right, but for me I need to be able to measure my improvement and/ or success.

My psych wouldn't pressure me at all, I do that myself but for me it just means a another fail . I was supposed to try and cut back grog- fail, stop abusing meds- fail, and pin-point triggers- well......... I know my triggers but avoid warning signs so fail!!!

really regretting my name , as all I do IS Stress !

Take care Neil and thanks again

geoff · ‎01-04-2014

dear Stressless, one great problem when we have depression is keep saying to ourselves is that we are losers, that's part of the disease, we can never justify any good points, and even if this happens, we pick at some fault and build onto this to make it a much greater problem, but again that's part of having depression, and there is no way we will ever recover until we can talk our problems through within our own mind, and say this is bad stay away from it, or this is really good, so let's try and build up on this.

Depression is only ONE WAY and that's down, and even if we can find something positive, but then pick on it to find a small fault, and continually go searching until we finally have turned this good point into something really bad, then depression has won yet again.

When you have overcome this illness any bad thoughts are pushed aside, you can say to yourself 'so if I take decide to take that road I know what will happen to me, so forget about it because the good road is far much better, so I am not going to worry about it, because there are too many mouse traps and I would get caught'.

Stressless I would contact your psych, and you shouldn't feel embarrassed, that's their job and whatever you haven't been able to achieve, this is not a let down at all, it only means that you are not ready to do these things at the moment, because you can't do them when you are still depressed and anxious.

The only time these will happen is when your mind is clear and when you can focus on achieving them.

I couldn't cut back on my alcohol intake when I was still suffering, it was only when I could rationalise my thoughts, what's good and what's bad, so when this can happen then you are on the road to recovery, and because you can't do this now is of no fault from you, as it took me years to get there, after much heartbreak and sorrow.

These trigger spots are when you can not accept the good, because it's much easier to give in, whereas they tell me don't go that way, but you can only do this when you become a stronger person.

In a strange way it's like an apprentice learning the trade to become a plummer, he is thrown into the s-------t pit to dig a hole for his boss, and along the way he makes many mistakes, time after time, maybe everyday even on silly chores, and by the time he becomes qualified he has been back and forward and has to learn about all the flaws of being a plummer.

Depression is really no different, we have to learn what depression does to us, this may sound to be stupid or cruel, but when you think about it, it's no different or the analogy is basically the same.

Please keep posting we will get there, no matter how long it takes. L Geoff. xx

Jo3 · ‎01-04-2014

Hey Stressless,

I'm sorry i haven't replied earlier. You are not a loser. You are brave strong and courageous for coming on here and letting it all out.

Depression sucks big time but i think that with the right professional help and perserverance from us we will get there. How to do it - well I'm still working that out. You know when i read your posts you sound so much like me - always doubting myself, my self esteem zero, my confidence zero, never accept a compliment and always looking at the negative side.

It would be good stressless if you could go and see your psych, don't be ashamed or feel bad because that's there job, they are meant to help us.

I really don't know what else to say, not too great with words.

But remember I am thinking of you

Take care

Jo xx

Neil_1 · ‎01-04-2014

Hi Stressless,

Same person, just a different channel! 🙂 And I'll apologise now for my other post on the anxiety thread back to you ... cause I was banging on about how awesome you are at work (again) and I just realised I did something here as well earlier. I must get new material! 🙂

You've got some good people here in your corner with you and we just wanna sit in this corner with you and work through it.

As Geoff said, if you haven't completed those exercise things for your psych, it's just because you're not able to do that at the moment. Yes, I'm hearing that this is not ok for you - but I honestly think that it IS ok - gee, I'm sounding like a psych (and not a terribly good one) in that, at this current point in time you're not feeling like doing them or feeling able to do them.

Now they're still going to be there tomorrow and the next day, etc - and at some stage in the future you might find yourself thinking; "Ok, how about I tackle just one of those exercises today". Just one.

Just a thought,

Kind regards

Neil

Guest_3712 · ‎01-04-2014

Hey Geoff, Neil, Jo

Just wanted to let you know I have read your replies

thanks from the bottom of my heart, but I cannot absorb anything at the moment.

I am devastated my psych hasn't been in touch and can't think of anything else.

sorry I will re -read again as I do value your opinions

Stressless

Jo3 · ‎01-04-2014

Stressless - take your time, slow deep breaths. Stop,

I can sense you are going into panic mode - pls try and stop and take 4 or 5 slow deep breaths.

I am thinking of you and hope your psych gets back to you

Jo xx