Possible Anxiety?

[Nova]

I hope this is the right place to post this.

Well, over the passed two years I have been experiencing some increasing troubles with self esteem and worries. It was all relatively manageable and probably normal until recently. Last year I started noticing that I was making mistakes and rather than thinking about doing better next time, it would just stay on my mind and plague me for months. Then some things happened and now I can't stop feeling like something is going wrong, that I'm forgetting something and that I'm going to get in trouble and something bad will happen because of it. I never really thought about getting help or there being a way to help until about two weeks ago. I was in exam block, I had studied for everything because I knew I would freak out if I didn't know something. I walked into the exam and I started shaking, I don't even know why. I could only stare at the page and I felt like it was in another language, I tried to answer the questions but I couldn't do it, I left about half of it blank and walked out early. I knew how to do everything but in that room it was like I couldn't breath and I just wanted to cry or break down.

I tried telling my dad that I thought I would fail my exams but couldn't quite say it. I'm never scared of my family before last year, but now every time I see them I flinch and I keep thinking they are going to yell at me or hit me even when I can't think of anything I've done wrong. I can't look at mirrors or outside windows anymore because I feel like something is there watching me and I'm terrified. I tell myself not to look and see nothing there but for some reason I convince myself that there was something and I just run from place to place because I think they're going to catch me.

I can't go out with people anymore because it feels like everyone is watching me and hating what they see. I feel like everyone hates me and I'm just annoying them.

I probably haven't written this out correctly and it probably doesn't make any sense, but any advice on what to do would be incredibly helpful because I don't know what to do.

[JessF]

Hello Nova, I am very sorry to hear that things have gotten out of control. What you have written makes perfect sense. You know in your heart of hearts that there is no 'reason' for you to feel like this, yet your mind screams at you anyway that there is something to be afraid of around every corner. This is a perfect description of anxiety and panic. Our brains are wired to switch on the 'fight or flight' response when we are in danger, this is where anxiety comes from. Unfortunately, when anxiety gets out of control and becomes a mental health issue, the brain will switch the 'fight or flight' response on and not turn it off. We become a victim of FEAR or False Evidence Appearing Real. 

The best thing for you to do would be to go and see your family doctor as soon as you can and tell her or him everything you have described above. Even print out the post you have written if you like. You can get help for this and get better, you are not alone! But the longer you leave it the worse it will get.  Try and talk to your parents too.  If you are diagnosed correctly and this is recognised, you may even be able to resit your exams.  It sounds like you are well versed in your subjects, but because of a panic attack you freaked out in the exam environment which can happen.  Please write back to us and let us know how you are going.