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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Perkin Tired of the struggle and want to talk with people that understand
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone. I've suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember. One of my earliest memories is being at primary school and thinking about suicide. But at the same time realising that it could be my toxic home environment that was making me fee... View more

Hi everyone. I've suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember. One of my earliest memories is being at primary school and thinking about suicide. But at the same time realising that it could be my toxic home environment that was making me feel this way. I decided that I owed it to myself to try and live a good life but couldn't see that happening until I reached adulthood and moved out of home so I just had to bear things as well as I could. By the time I moved out of home the physical symptoms brought on by the anxiety were pretty bad. Chronic pain and insomnia were the worst so although I was right and I could take more control of my life and happiness I spent a lot of time nursing myself back to health and could only just manage a part time job. On the positive side I've come a long way since then. Getting over the chronic pain was the biggest thing. I'm actually very proud of myself, I've had two children and the migranes I had on a fourtnightely basis were actually not that far off the pain of being in labor. Plus I was in some sort of pain constantly and couldn't sleep. So instead of berating myself for having trouble holding down a job or for not doing very well at school I now think well done to me for just putting one foot in front of the other for so long. I'm now at a point in my life where I feel like I'm emerging from a fog. I can see people interacting all around me when I leave the house but it makes me feel very anxious and isolated because I don't know how to talk to them even though I feel strong enough to give it a try. I also had my second child three weeks ago so I'm feeling quite tired, emotional and fragile. I realize this is normal. I've come to this forum because I'd like to reach out to people that understand how crippling and draining anxiety can be because I feel that most people either don't understand or have trouble acknowledging it which makes me feel very alone. My partner is a lovely guy but just doesn't understand and after much effort I have some people I can call friends, but they are not close friends who I feel I can talk to or who I feel understand me.

iamsotired Trusting people
  • replies: 4

For as long as I can remember there have been people in my life who let me down were not there for me. Next week I have to return to work( high school teacher) where there are people from principal to fellow teachers who have clearly demonstrated to ... View more

For as long as I can remember there have been people in my life who let me down were not there for me. Next week I have to return to work( high school teacher) where there are people from principal to fellow teachers who have clearly demonstrated to me that I am no to be believed, trusted or supported. I have asked my few friends left at work ( the rest of my friends have retired) why they think I am consistently treated so badly. They do not know why. so now I am soooo anxious about returning. last year I had a conversation with a fellow staff member ( directed by my head of department) concerning something she had done contrary to direction from our head of department. She went to the principal an complained that I had spoken aggressively to her, I now have an official warning letter. Even though I calmly explained that I may have spoken with an aggressive tone because I have what is called muscle dysphonia and therefore I often cannot control my voice and it can come out forced... I don't know. all I do know is that I do not want to return to work but fiscally I must. a few years ago when fellow teachers complained that they found it hard being around me struggling to speak my principal said that if I was struggling I should walk out the school gates. I nearly did into the traffic when the 2013HSC results came out I went to see how my students went ( all band 5 and 6s) unfortunately my principal saw me, she said Hi I respond hi but as soon as I left the building I burst into uncontrollable flooding tears. i am so tired of being scared and out of control anyone got any suggestions...please

efm2302 I'm over it
  • replies: 5

I'm 30 years old and I'm over it all! I have been battling with anxiety and depression for a long time - depression probably most of my life (at least from the age of 12). Anxiety hit me badly 7 years ago, and it got worse over the past year. 1 year ... View more

I'm 30 years old and I'm over it all! I have been battling with anxiety and depression for a long time - depression probably most of my life (at least from the age of 12). Anxiety hit me badly 7 years ago, and it got worse over the past year. 1 year ago (almost to the day) my husband and I separated. My anxiety has been pretty horrible in the past year, coping with all the emotional stuff that goes hand in hand with separation, as well as a hyperactive 2 year old. I'm sick of the anxiety. I'm sick of the fear I live in on a day to day basis. I'm sick of fearing being home alone and something seriously wrong happening to me. I'm sick of it. Yes, I have a psychologist. Yes, I have a couple of really trusted friends who know me inside out. Yes, I have a safety plan in place. But I'm at the stage where I feel like I'm just a burden on people - in particular one friend of mine. I don't want to call him to tell him I'm struggling. I have another friend I can call, but I don't want to bother her with my stuff. She has enough going on. I also just don't want to be questioned. I so much want to be around people, yet, I wish the world would suck me up so I could escape these feelings. Sorry for my rant.

iamsotired Trusting people 2
  • replies: 0

I meant to add to my last post how can I ever trust the fellow teacher who went and complained about me. We are meant to be able to have discussions as we are in the same department, but I am too anxious that if I say something she does not like she ... View more

I meant to add to my last post how can I ever trust the fellow teacher who went and complained about me. We are meant to be able to have discussions as we are in the same department, but I am too anxious that if I say something she does not like she will once again go to the principal and complain help advice please

Dexter2748 Anxiety and Depression + Trust Issues
  • replies: 2

Yesterday afternoon I attended my first appointment with a psychologist. She was really amazing and talked a lot about my issues with anxiety and depression. I felt a little numb at the time, almost like I couldn’t believe how much I’ve been through ... View more

Yesterday afternoon I attended my first appointment with a psychologist. She was really amazing and talked a lot about my issues with anxiety and depression. I felt a little numb at the time, almost like I couldn’t believe how much I’ve been through and slightly in denial about my recent (though always been in the back of my mind) suicidal thoughts. I’m 23 years old and my social fears and anxiety controls my life. I’m nervous all the time, feel like I’m always being judged and never really feel worthy of peoples time, this is why I find it hard to sustain friendships. I’ve realised I’m a great actor though, if you were to meet me you wouldn’t have a clue I’m unhappy with my life. It seems to be a trend with people who experience the same issues though. After my appointment yesterday I felt happy until a bus driver yelled at me for having insufficient funds on my GoCard. I ended up walking the hour home and just reflected on how lonely I am. At the time I couldn’t think of anyone to call and cheer me up or drive me home. I just walked along a main highway crying my eyes out, once I got home I cried for hours trying to fight off a panic attack. I know I’m trying really hard to get better but at the same time I know it will be a long rough road till I reach my goal. I’m most anxious when dating, I’ve had some bad experiences and find it hard to trust guys now. I’m in a long distance relationship and even though he is very trustworthy and caring I still feel so paranoid all the time. I need to learn to relax and take each day as it comes. Does anyone have any advice? I would love to hear stories of long distance relationships that have worked or if anyone has overcome trust issues when it comes to relationships/friendships. I’m fairly new to the beyondblue forum so I hope this all makes some sense.

Sarah1303 Lost in my own mind...
  • replies: 4

Hello all, my name is Sarah, I am 18 years old & a senior in high school. I have been suffering with what I think is depression, anxiety, bi-polar issues, and OCD.My daily rituals are getting worse & worse. I literally take an hour & half shower, I t... View more

Hello all, my name is Sarah, I am 18 years old & a senior in high school. I have been suffering with what I think is depression, anxiety, bi-polar issues, and OCD.My daily rituals are getting worse & worse. I literally take an hour & half shower, I take three hours to so my make-up... That is.. If I'm constantly moving. If I get side tracked which is more than often the case I take much, much longer. & I refuse to leave my house without it all on. I have pretty much dug myself to believe that I am hideous. I feel like I'm a monster & don't feel comfortable being around anyone other than family without my "face" on.Each day I awake with horrid anxiety, and debilitate myself from even getting into a shower each night because I dread the tasks that I force myself to do.When I was about 11 I would self-harm. I'd say that was due to me not having a relationship with my father. He disowns me for some odd reason, he didn't abandon me at birth or as a child or anything yet I feel that having him live with me but still hate me is kinda just as bad.I see him daily but get no love & there was an incident when I was about 9 or 10 that he fell out of our attic in the middle of the night after moving boxes up there. We think he was tired & decided to rest at the top of the attic stairs. He fell out of the attic face first onto the washing machine, then to the concrete floor. Because he doesn't remember, the doctors lead us to believe that he had to of awoken & thought he was in bed or on the couch & took a step, then he fell. He had to of then come to by the grace of God & he went into the shower to wash off the blood we guess.Now at the time my little sister & I were sleeping on a mattress on our parents bedroom floor because my uncle & grandma were staying with us so they took my sister & I's room. That night I remember falling asleep to my dad sitting in bed on the phone with his father who lives in another state. I was abruptly woken up in the middle of the night to almost a sobbing kind of laugh. So I figured my dad was still talking with his dad, just laughing about stuff. So I went back to sleep. I hear it again & wake up a second time, this time I see the shower is on & I think... Wait, he can't be on the phone & in the shower at the same time. So I shake my mom awake & say that I hear a weird noise, it sounds like someone is crying.She brushes it off & tells me it's probably just my uncle on the couch. I fall back asleep & wake up yet once more & am determined to find out what the noise is. I tell her it's coming from her bathroom & the shower is on. She got up & walked into the bathroom. She says it was the worst scene she had ever saw in her life. My dad was sitting down In the shower with severe facial injuries & his fingers & nose were broken. He went through 14 hours of surgery.My mom & sister used to say that an angel kept waking me up that night & due to my persistency, I "saved" my dad's life because the doctors said bat if he had been in there too much longer he would have bled to death. I don't think of it that I saved his life but I helped him, surely. I just don't understand why he treats me the way he does then if I helped him so grandly. Sorry I kinda got way off topic with that story but it's partially why I have felt so depressed for so long. Now, for the past couple months I think about suicide frequently. It scares me. I know that I'm not capable of committing harm to myself to that extent, but I'm afraid that one day all of my in ed struggles will eat me alive & become too much for me to deal with anymore. I think that I'd be at peace if I wasn't living, all I do is the same repetitive, useless stuff day in and day out. It's come to the point where my mother gets extremely frustrated with me. I'm late to school, I use all the hot water, etc etc etc. & my mother is my rock, it kills me to disappoint her. I can't help but think that she as well as my little sister would be better off not having to deal with me all the time. I feel like such a burden. I have told her I think I have OCD before & we researched it somewhat & she says maybe but she doesn't want to self diagnose me, as I don't want to do that either. But I just have this gut wrenching feeling that there is most definitely something wrong in my brain. I haven't been to any doctor for anything like that so now it's to the point where my mom is fed up with "the OCD excuse" she says it's just that I don't care.Being to school on time isn't a priority to me. I don't even try to change when in reality I go through a mental struggle daily to get myself to change every last daunting task that I do. She just doesn't see it because there is no progress & I feel there never will be. I'm sorry I just really feel the need to vent.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Chooka Help me!
  • replies: 7

Another sleepless night as I write this. My body shaking, so desperately tired yet unable to sleep. Cold sweats, the feeling like I'm falling jolting me before I fall asleep. It's like a form of torture. I have no patience with my kids. Don't want to... View more

Another sleepless night as I write this. My body shaking, so desperately tired yet unable to sleep. Cold sweats, the feeling like I'm falling jolting me before I fall asleep. It's like a form of torture. I have no patience with my kids. Don't want to talk to anyone, it's ruining my life, plz help!

Amali Constant battle with myself...
  • replies: 4

I have been battling anxiety for a few years now, I have just finished my last session with my counsellor. My anxiety got worse when I was having problems with my relationship. My now ex boyfriend lost his mother 18 months ago. He didn't deal with hi... View more

I have been battling anxiety for a few years now, I have just finished my last session with my counsellor. My anxiety got worse when I was having problems with my relationship. My now ex boyfriend lost his mother 18 months ago. He didn't deal with his grief and took it out on me. He seemed to completely change as a person, was angry all the time, shut me out, became secretive and treated me with disrespect. It was a case where I kept going back to him because I loved him but I just kept getting hurt. I was very confused as to whether he was just "going through a tough time" or whether their were other issues with our relationship.I decided enough was enough and ended the relationship. Since then my ex boyfriend has been trying to get me back. He received help and realised his mistakes and how he was taking things out on me. I was very hesitant to see him, but after 8months since everything fell apart, I decided to meet up with him and let him explain himself. He seems to be on his way back to his old self and I really miss him and want back what we lost. Now I feel like I'm at a constant battle with myself. Half of me wanting him back and the other half too scared of being hurt again and spiralling emotionally out of control. My friends wouldn't support me going back to him and I think If one of my friends was treated as badly as I was, I would be advising them not to go back either. Anyway just thought someone may have some thoughts on this or have been in a similar situation. Any comments would be helpful Thanks TD

Tom38 Destroying my life.
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm Tom and I'm 14 and I've been having a really hard time lately with my anxiety, it started back in October on a plane trip home from Darwin, I just broke down and I am usually fine on plane trips but I just fell apart on this one. a few days a... View more

Hi, I'm Tom and I'm 14 and I've been having a really hard time lately with my anxiety, it started back in October on a plane trip home from Darwin, I just broke down and I am usually fine on plane trips but I just fell apart on this one. a few days after I was spitting up blood for some reason, I'm okay now it was just a bad throat infection, but ever since I've just been extremely worried about my health and I couldn't stop thinking about it and every little ache and pain I had, I emediately thought that I had a problem with my health. I was just scared of dying I guess. I told my parents about what was happening and they fully understood it because my brother used to suffer from anxiety a while ago. The thoughts just wouldn't stop, I was breaking down, and I started to get headaches and dizziness. Towards the last few days of school I had my first panic attack. Inbeyween periods I was extremely light headed/dizzy and I went to sick bay. I honestly thought I was going to die I couldn't sit because I thought I would pass out and die. I came home and searched up what happened and I'm pretty sure it was a panic attack. Since then I kept on getting these panic attacks over some slight pain or headache. I seemed to feel dizzy often and when around crowded places like shopping centers I feel extremely on edge and dizzy and try to stay away and avoid crowded places as much as I can. I haven't been as social with friends anymore because I'm afraid ill have a panic attack. I was starting to get a little bit better in the last few weeks but that changed when we went on a surprise holiday to Queensland and I had to catch a plane their. It brought back bad memories and to be honest, I didn't really enjoy the trip. I got back yesterday and I'm back to par 1. Btw i suffer from bad migrains, It's really destroying my life and I really need help. Can please give me some advice to cope with it.

The_Real_David_Charles MY NAME IS ANXIETY ad is a bit too dark & threatening for a community feel site.....
  • replies: 13

Dear BB, I'm more anxious reading the ad MY NAME IS ANXIETY. It's a bit dark/threatening/James Bond meets Dracula. For me, I end up making fun of it just to see some sense. This is a serious point but requires some humour to understand it: "I am the ... View more

Dear BB, I'm more anxious reading the ad MY NAME IS ANXIETY. It's a bit dark/threatening/James Bond meets Dracula. For me, I end up making fun of it just to see some sense. This is a serious point but requires some humour to understand it: "I am the tightening of your cheast" - [from your BB ad] I am trying on a Medium Size Shirt instead of my true Extra Large Size XXXXXX.[David's interpretation] "I am the hot & cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough" [BB] Who ordered the Bombay Duck and why is it so hot in the Indian Restaurant ? [David] "I am the obsessive and the compulsive" [BB] I am the Country AND the Western (Blues Brothers movie) [David] "I am the ill ease you feel when walking into a crowded room" [BB] "We should have waited for the Ladies Leane and not snuck into the Gents toilets at the State of Origin" [David] I don't mean to disrespect the work that went into this campaign but all the cloak and dagger is leading to more anxiety or secrecy and missing the whole point that Anxiety can be given a realistic angle with simple definitions that won't scare the living beJesus out of people. The only real danger is that such an ad actually stigmatises what is already stigmatised by making things appear too foreboding to tackle or seek treatment. I always thought Beyondblue had a more mature view of mental illness than to make a serious illness like anxiety masqaurade as a cheap 1950's cop show. What are you relating to ? Someone's inner fear ? That Anxiety has no daylight ? It's a confusing ad and yet by placing it in the opening page there is the danger that a newcomer might be turned off the site. Counter productive ? How is BB gonna treat my own illness - bipolar ? A Jeckyl and Hyde scenario ? "I am the mood disorder that cannot be controlled because raging neurons in your brain disconnect and alter your behaviour without so much as a by your leave and then leave your family in a panic because one minute you're suicidal and the next you want to be Jack Nicholson giving the eye to the LA Lakers Basketball Cheer Leaders when the Lakers are 86 to 88 in the last seconds and Kobe has the ball and they need a 3 pointer to win". So "I am the Hot and Cold" would be the sausage roll and the beer. Just saying. Adios, David. PS Any other feedback or am I on my own here ?