I'm not sure what's happening with me

[Shan41]

For the past few years I've started feeling different, especially in the past year. Now, I feel like I am unable to connect with the people I thought I was friends with - of late, I've just been sitting there in silence. I'm struggling to talk with my teachers and other adults - I normally just stare at the ground now and hardly make eye contact. I'm always becoming stressed to the point where I break down in tears. I am always feeling nervous, and I hate when things are late.

In the past year, I've felt less connected with my family. My mum has MS, and her health is on a rapid decline. I've gotten in more and more arguments with my family, and I have started to spend the most of my time in my room. I haven't been able to tell them how I feel,  and it's like it keeps building up inside of me. Quite often,  my mum talks about others with problems like there is something severely wrong with them - this is another reason why I feel unable to share my feelings with her. A lot or the time I feek unwelcome within my own house. 

I have only really been able to share my feelings with my boyfriend,  and for awhile now, he been making me feel more confident about talking to someone else about it all. 

Would someone be able to give me reasons to why I have been feeling like this? Or suggest someone for me to talk to? I'm not really sure what's happening to me

[beingbyrne]

Hi there….and welcome to BB.

The way you've been feeling is definitely alarming enough to seek professional help. If I was you I would talk to a GP first or may be the student counsellor ( I assume you're a student as you mentioned teachers in your post) or any health professional you have available or feel comfortable with. It certainly could be an anxiety disorder, which is so common these days, which can also get worse later. So don't let it escalate or interfere with your life. Go and get help and look after yourself.

I hope I was helpful and hear from you again.

mrs byrne

[geoff]

dear Shan, I would also like to welcome to BB forum site.

As Mrs. Byrne ( and she certainly isn't old lol ) has mentioned it could be that it's an anxiety concern, but also that you are worried about your mum and her MS, which you could notice a great change in what she can physically be able to do.

With anxiety it is also part of being depressed, and by breaking down into tears indicates this.

With your mum and it also happens with other people who have an illness, they seems to project their feelings over to other people, and seem to take on the role 'that there are many others who have more serious problems' than I ( meaning your mum ) currently has, and for some reason this happens, but I can't give you an answer why this actually happens, maybe it could be that they want the attention directed to other people so that all the fuss isn't put onto themselves.

Do you live at home with your mum, and is there anyone else who lives at home.

I would contact your doctor and hopefully he/she is also your mum's GP, so that they can begin some counselling program.

I feel so sorry for you to see your mum slowly suffer from MS, and I hope that you can get back to us. Geoff. x

[Shan41]

Thank you for your reply mrs byrne!

I have thought about talking to the schools councilor,  and I don't think I would really be comfortable with her. I've talked to her once before and she doesn't seem very inviting.. I'll have a go and see if I can find the best person to talk to in my region,  amd see where I can go with it from there.

I am in currently in year 12, and I feel as if this is taking away my ability to concentrate and study when I'm at home but also at school

Once again, thank you for your advice! 

[Shan41]

Hi Geoff,

I do get worried about my mum, as she's been having a few big falls in public places lately, but it's not normally what I'm worried about the most. I  tend to ask myself if I'm ever good enough,  and I hold extremely high expectations of myself. I think I do this because I want my mum to notice me, but it never really works the way I want it to..

I am normally the one mum talks when she wants to express her feelings,  but it does put a lot of pressure on to me, and I don't really like it. I'm not sure what to say to her about that.

I also live with my dad and younger brother. I

tend to spend a lot of time outside of the house keeping myself busy, because I feel too on edge when I am at home.

I struggle to understand the gp that my mum visits, and I haven't felt comfortable with goingto any other ddoctor that I've seen. Should I just do some research on who would be the best person for me to see? 

Thank you for your reply Geoff

[geoff]

dear Shan, good morning.

I can well and truly understand the pressure of your mum expressing her feelings to you, because it puts a great amount of pressure on yourself, especially while you are doing year 12, which means she trusts you and can relate to.

With MS it is a debilitating illness that slowly destroys a body, but there's not much you can do to help her overcome this, it's a very sad illness.

Your mum I'm sure notices you, but she is too consumed by her illness and how much it has now affected her life.

Your high expectations is a great attitude at such a young age, but to be fair to yourself give a bit of slack to yourself, easier said than done, as it's obvious that your mum really loves you.

I'm not too sure about how you get on with your father and brother, so I have my doubts about this relationship and please correct me if I'm wrong.

What I would do is click onto 'get support' at the top or contact the 'web chat' who will direct you towards a GP who handles people your age. Geoff. x

[Nervous_Girl]

Hi Shan41, 

I too have been my mums listening post at your age when she went through some difficult issues. While she feels comfortable talking to you about her problems its not going to do you any good particularly while you are struggling with anxiety symptoms. 

Just remember you have alot going on at the moment and that can sometimes snowball all our worries until we cant figure out exactly what it is we are worrying about anymore, it all just becomes a big jumbled mess.

The thoughts that you are not good enough are also part of this worrying, its hard to cope when there is so much to think about, and part of what we always want to do is to fix everything, but when there is so much to fix and its out of our hands we cant handle the loss of control.

Your boyfriend sounds like he is a wonderful support to you and it may be worthwhile since he is someone you trust with how you are feeling making an appointment with a GP and taking him along. 

The first step is to get help from a professional, from there things will get better.