I'll give you the rundown on what has happened thus far and I'm basically looking for advice. I think I already know the answer in my own head it's just I'm having a real hard time following through with it. Ok So last year in the Summer I was working in Portugal where I met a girl called Lucy. We hit it off and ended up staying together for a month before she went back to Australia and I went off to work in Germany for a bit then back to England. We kept in touch ever since we left eachother and spoke everyday. My initial plan was that I was going to go over to Australia and meet her but I was very undecided as the majority of my friends were going to do a ski season in France. I decided on France but when I mentioned this to Lucy she was very upset which made me change my mind. I've never been in a relationship properly before and I thought, here is a girl that truly likes me and I'm not willing to go over and give it a chance? So I changed my mind and booked my flights to Australia.
I arrived in January and things were good for a good couple of months. I initially was going to stay with her for a couple of weeks then find my own place but she ended up asking me to stay. I felt very attached to her and she was pretty much my only friend in Australia. I eventually got a job and got settled but things began taking a turn for the worst after a couple of months when we stopped having sex and things just seemed weird. I spoke to her about it and it turned out she felt like she couldn't live her life and do the things she wanted because i was always there. So I moved out and we stayed together and things got a bit better. However at this stage I had been having anxiety attacks quite regularly ( convinced i wasn't good enough for her, that she needed to find someone else) I moved out and after a couple of weeks but then had a breakdown in her car. This is when I began seeing a psychologist. I had always had the feeling of travelling but had been staying in Melbourne to be with her and not doing the things I wanted to do. Now at the moment i'm currently working but have been going through quite depressive stages and not wanting to work. I have thoughts about going home to england but think this would kill me and now it's getting to the stage where I don't know what to do. Do I leave for a while, try and find my old self again but risk losing her in the progress and possibly regretting it? Or do I stay and try and fight it but risk making myself unhappier?
