Please Help

Stephaaa · ‎10-03-2014

I'm feeling really down and horrible today and I don't know what to do.

I live with my ex boyfriend, because I was kicked out of home, and I don't have anywhere to go. We were together until last week, where my depression, anxiety and anger got the best of me and I was taking everything all out on him, and we basically broke up. I miss him so much, I miss what we had but he seems to see the more negative times we had together than the positive times. I just, want everything to go back to the way we were. I love him so much and it hurts so much to imagine my life without him.

I just, I feel like packing all my things up and leaving, having no contact with anyone again.

He's family is in his head about us dating, they think im crazy and he has a very close bond with them so whatever they say he will do. Hes just being really 2 faced about everything

I just 😞 I need help today 😞

Neil_1 · ‎10-03-2014

Hi Stephaaa

Welcome to Beyond Blue and even though you're down and not feeling well, it was a very positive thing that you've done by coming here and posting.

Ok, so you're currently staying with your 'ex', who is your 'ex' by just around a week, is that right? Things possibly weren't good leading up to that, but it all came to a head last week yeah?

Were you together for a long time before the 'break'? Was he supportive of you with your depression?

Sorry for all the questions, but there's no real quick fix to pretty much anyone who comes on here, and it just helps to know a little more of the situation if the kind folk who post on this site will be better informed of what's happening.

Have you seen a GP or psych with regard to your depression? Obviously not being sure whether you have or not, I'll just let you know that on this website, Beyond Blue have a list of GP's available and if you do a search you can hopefully find one or more in your local area. These GP's are all trained to deal with mental health issues and I believe would be a really excellent starting point for you.

Perhaps if you were to tell your 'ex' that you are in the process of seeking help with your illness, that 'may' have an effect on his current thinking with regard to your relationship.

Steph, I hope that something from my post has helped and please do get back to us so that we might be able to advise further with your situation.

Please take care and I hope that by the time you're reading this, you are at least feeling a little better.

Kind regards

Neil

Girl_Anachronism · ‎10-03-2014

Hi Stephaa,

It certainly sounds like you are having rough time of it.

The living situation doesn't sound like it is helping you either. I notice you said you 'basically broke up'. Does this mean that it was a complete break or is there a possibility for reconciling? He might need some space and getting away from his family might help you aswell. I know you say you were kicked out of home, but do you possibly have a friend you could stay with or extended family, like an aunt or uncle? It could give you both the space you need, even if only for a few days.

I hope you can get back to us. Know that there is always a shoulder to lean on here, if you need it.

Take Care,

GA

Neil_1 · ‎10-03-2014

Hi Steph

I've only just stumbled across your 'original' post on the Young People forum.

GA, this post goes into more detail about Steph's background, so might be a good place to check out. I've provided a response on there and again, I'm sorry for all the questions.

I'm glad that we've found your posts and hope that we can try to provide you with some helpful advice; but above all else, Steph, we'll be here to support you.

I'll keep an eye on on this forum and the Young People forum for which one you wish to reply on ... and which ever one you choose, we'll just use that one from now on. If that's cool.

Kind regards

Neil

Stephaaa · ‎10-03-2014

Thank's everyone.

We were together for almost 6 months, and in that time, I had 3-4 breakdowns where I was really struggling.

I am going to the doctors tomorrow to get reviewed on my anti depressants, I just feel flat and super down lately, just wanting to break down. I just feel lost. My boyfriend doesn't really understand and I shouldn't be blaming my depression as an excuse.

I don't know, I just feel at a huge loss right now with no where to go.

Visual · ‎10-03-2014

I was young like you were once and i wish i could go back to when i was not respecting my mother and father and i was too living with me boyfriend and going from one boyfriend to the next. Your boyfriend is not that important at the moment. You are you need to be a strong women. You are disrespecting yourself . Please go and talk to your parents move back home. Forget about your boyfriend finish school its very important and charter building. Or concentrate on your self that job you have. Think about your future yourself what do you want in live. to be a puppet to your boyfriend not really boyfriend loves that. If you don't build your strong foundation now while you are young and to stick by your values beliefs and true visions in live then you will miss out on the best thinks in live like i did.

Neil_1 · ‎11-03-2014

Hi Steph

Great to hear back from you. I’m really pleased that you’re heading back to the doctor’s to do a review of your meds and I hope just get another overall check up with how you’re feeling at the moment.

This is not your fault; and it’s not your boyfriend’s fault – this is depression causing this to you.

Might I just say though that being together for just 6 months – I could be wrong because I’m a lot older nowadays (you see my seeing eye dog types this for me … clever isn’t he?!!) Ok ok, just kidding – but what I was going to say that in the first 6 months of a relationship, it should be still like the ‘honeymoon’ period, where everything is just wild and spontaneous, love abandoned and yes, I’ve probably read one or two too many romance novels! You say you shouldn’t be blaming depression as an excuse? Then who is to blame? If you’re going to say yourself – then um, Steph, I think the last time we checked, you have depression. And having depression can take the toll of many things – jobs, relationships, careers, families, I won’t go on cause the list would go on forever.

The best thing that you can do is what you’re doing right now … and that’s seeking out professional assistance.

I also do hope you can get back to us and I’d be interested in knowing what the Doc advised as well – but hey, this is entirely up to you for whether you wish to let us know.

Kind regards

Neil

Stephaaa · ‎11-03-2014

So, My boyfriend and I had a massive talk last night, and he said its happened too many times and he is amazed at himself for coming back to me all those times. It hurts quite a lot. I can't go back home, my dad physically abused me, and my mum has passed away and they don't want anything to do with me ever again.

I have been looking at a few house share places and renting, I just need to get out of this house.

I went to the doctor today, and they are keeping me on my anti depressant, and tomorrow I am going to see a mental health nurse who will more than likely refer me to a psychiatrist. I do want to get better. I really do, its just all too much at the moment.

My boyfriend's best friends have all recently broken up with their partners and him being the only 'single' one was hard on him I reckon. Also, his family were in his head quite a lot after I hit rock bottom, and I honestly don't think it was all his decision.

He said he will still support me though, but I find that hard to believe.

I'm just struggling, and want this stupid rough patch to be over and done with 😞 I wish my mum was here, I wish I could just pick up the phone and call her and she would just make everything alright.