Get Better & Stay Better!?

[Stephaaa]

Hi Everyone,

My name is Steph, and I'm 21, 22 in April and I just want to give you all run down of my past to the present.

In 2005 my mum was diagnosed with Stage 4 Advanced Breast Cancer, she survived and fought like crazy, but sadly she passed away February 1st 2013.

My Grandpa was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer and he passed away June 31st, 2012.

In October 2013, my dad physically abused me, and so did his girlfriend, which resulted in me being kicked out of home, becoming homeless for 2 weeks, living with my boyfriend of 1 month, and his mum, and then court dates and restraining orders

 My boyfriend bought a house and we both moved in together (we were together for 2 months when we bought the house)

I have a lot of melt downs and break downs whatever you want to call it. I miss my mum like crazy, and I have no contact with my family what so ever and it kills me, especially knowing my dad moved on so quickly (2 months after mum passed away, they were married for 24 years!!!!!!)

I get quite angry and I take my anger out of my boyfriend, who certianly does not deserve it.

Friday (28th Feb) was my worst day. I had a huge meltdown, where I was threatning to kill myself, resulting in calling the CAT team.

I just want to know, what can I do to stay better 😞
I'm on anti depressants, but not feeling they are helping me too much, I am being reviewed on them later this week, I am also seeing my psychologist once a week.

My boyfriend is my world, and I want to be with him for a long time, for the rest of my life to be honest, but he can't deal with my mood swings all the time, and my anger and suicidal thoughts, I feel like someone else takes over my body and I'm just standing on the sidelines watching myself break down and go off..

Just looking for some suggestions to help me get better and stay better?

Thanks

Steph

[Neil_1]

Hi Stephaaa

I'm sorry, I missed this post when you first posted and now you've posted again on another place, to which I responded and I feel bad for asking you questions, which you have already given detail about on this post.

You've had some really traumatic things happen to you in the last little while and it's no wonder you're finding things so difficult.  Even worse now I imagine as going by your most recent post.

What was the result of your review of meds?   And do you feel that your psych is a good match for you?   That is key thing, because you can go along to a psych, but for a lot of the time, they may not gel with you and it can be pretty much a waste of time.  This is where you need to perservere to try and find the right one.

Do you feel a good association with your GP?

I did ask on the other post, whether your boyfriend was supportive to you.  It also sounds like you guys haven't actually been together for all that long, is that right, or have I misread things?

Stephaaa, do you have a job at the moment?

Also, one last question, do you have friends who you feel comfortable in talking too?  Even just one?  That can mean a great deal.

I'm sorry, I ask too many questions ... and I lied, when I said one last one;   this is the final one.  What interests/hobbies do you have or things that you like to do AND are any of these things able to be shared with your boyfriend?

I guess between this post and the other one, I hope we can work through this and I do look forward to hearing back from you.

Kind regards

Neil