my story/rant

[Jeevesbe]

hi this is my little rant just to get it off my chest sorry if its in the wrong forum please tell me and I'll delete it.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 14 but my phycologist says it started years before then currently im 17 and doing year 11 at high school or so i am ment to be two years ago i went out with a girl and she was the light of my life we dated for 2 years i enjoyed myself with her felt the happiest i had ever been untill november last year when she told me my depression was too much for her to handle and she broke up with me since then i have going to school less and less each week till i just didn't go all my friends have just stopped contacting me at all and when i cintact them their very disinterested in talking it feels like they have given up on me. I can see how strange it looks from an outside veiw depression is a mess and i dont know how to get out ive tryed everything for meditation to medication and nothing lasts past a week. I can see all these self destructive things i do all these things that I'm just not ment to do but i cant stop myself I see why they left me i see why she left me i want to change I've tryed to change but it's just not working i can't do it. everyone has left me im alone and i don't know what to do.

i want help but i don't know how I'm already seeing a phycologist, phyciatrest and a GP

[blondguy]

Hi Jeevesbe

Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the strength to post too!

Im really sorry about the split up with your girlfriend. I was dumped last year by my girlfriend and it hurt like hell

My GF also told me that she couldnt deal with my depression. Its a major pain....I still feel how awful it felt

You are a legend for already having the health professionals sorted out and well done to you! You are proactive!

Can I ask you how frequent you see your counselor? Its fine to see a doc/therapist now and again. Maybe weekly would be a good idea right now

I understand why you are feeling this bad. Its a dark place to be in for sure.

Your friends not contacting you would be a major pain too. Can you let us know why they arent being as friendly anymore?

I really hope you can make a double appointment even with your GP so you can have a really good vent Jeeves

you are not alone here. I really hope you can stick around and let us know how you go

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[BenD]

Hi Jeevesbe,

bsolute kudos to you for seeking professional advice. That's a very smart move and shows deep down that you want to get better.As
for your ex, its breakups are always difficult. It's like losing a good
friend. Like blondguy, I think I've lost at least one gf from my mental
health in the past. It's hard to take.However, looking back it
feels good to appreciate things for what they were, even if they won't
be the same with that person in the future. You said it was the happiest
you've ever been. I guarantee this experience will happen to you again,
it's just a matter of time.

I went through a period when I was a little older than you (18) where I felt abandoned and lonely. Like you say, it's incredibly tough.

What helped dig me out was slowly and steadily doing things that I knew (because my psych told me) would make me feel better. Even the smallest thing like taking my dog to the beach was something you could reflect on at the end of the day and say 'hey, that was okay'.

Eventually, the small acts of happiness you give yourself build up. One day you wake up and realise that you don't feel as bad as you once did.

Can you think of some small acts that you can do to make yourself feel a bit better?

Ben

[Jeevesbe]

thank you for replying its my first ime posting to any sort of forum so i was really anxious.

as for how often i see my phycologist its once every week and has been for the past month and a bit

I honestly don't know why my friends stopped being friendly with me and I'm afraid to ask them because of what they could say.

Jeeves.

[blondguy]

Hi Jeeves

Thanks for posting back (and to Ben above for his help too!)

I was mega nervous when I first posted too....Im glad that you are part of the forums now though!

Great stuff for seeing your psychologist every week...that is a huge effort, well done.

Sometimes friends (people) can be ignorant about anxiety & depression too. I have also lost some friends because of my depression but am happy now after finding some peace with my health

Really good to have you on board Jeeves 🙂 Please let us know how you are going

my kind thoughts

Paul

[BenD]

Hi again Jeeves,

Don't know what happened with the formatting on that original post, sorry it looks a little wonky.

Like blondguy says, people often don't know what others are dealing with (especially if you pretend that everything is okay in front of them). Other people lead busy lives and probably have concerns of there own.

When I opened up about my depression/anxiety to a few work mates the result was amazing. The two guys I spoke to are among my best friends now.

I know it seems like you are in the middle of the forest at the moment, but hang in there and keep visiting the forum. It helps 🙂

Ben