Whats happening

[Day_Dreamy]

Last 8 months ive been feeling tired all the time last 3 months ive been feeling down and depressed and today i started crying four times for no reason i keep thinking back to old memoriesbof yelling and screaming and cant remeber a day with some sort of yelling (including school) im at the point where every time i get down the only thing that brings me back up is my gf but i feel like im slowly drifting away from her and every time i think about that i want to cry and die. I keep disconnecting my self drom my friends and family and cant figure out why. I dont wanto talk to anyone but my gf but i can never seem to. I dont know what to do is this normal? Bipolar runs in my family so i might have it. I dont know anymore my brain is a mess and i feel worthless. And I DONT KNOW WHYYYYYY its so painful. After that then i cried i just want to crawl up and sleep and just think if her. The only thing tethering me to this planet what do i do i cant think properly. When i go back to school this is gonna make my grades suffer so i have to do something but i cant figure it out. I always figure something out. But right now i cant seem to calculate my mind and emotions and cant control them. I just want to hug my gf and never wake up from the dream. Im so stuck on school and family issues. At school im this calm level headed slightly weird guy. But thats just a mask i need to do something but what. ....

[MsPurple]

HI DayDreamy welcome to the BB forums

Can I ask if you have spoken to anyone about how you have been feeling lately? I would suggest talking to a doctor or someone close to you about it. I especially suggest you talk to your doctor as they can give you suggestions on how to overcome this. I am not sure if you have depression/anxiety/other/stress because I am not a doctor but a doctor can help shed some light on it. I for one found it very helpful. They also referred me to a psychologist who has helped me work though some of my feelings and stresses. I have some things in the past that like to kick my emotions in the butt. I found talking to someone about it helped and they gave me strategies on how to cope with it now. I also thought I should let you know that if you are under 25 there is a youth mental health service called headspace. This is a low cost service and they have a range of people you can see. It is something to consider if you are not comfortable going through your GP.

I know how you feel and your concerns about bipolar being in the family. My mum, brother, auntry and grandmother (well not sure if grandmother as she was an alcoholic but it is suspected) had bipolar. It is not a death sentence. My mum and brother are well managed. They get the right support they need. And I have been seeing my GP and my psychologist (and previously a psychiatrist) and I have been told I do not have bipolar. I know it can be scary thinking you are at higher risk of bipolar (than the average population who don't have a family history) but you just need to take it as it comes. You may not have it, just remember it is better to go to a doctor and get the help then it is not going out of fear that you may have bipolar. I did the same thing and wish I went to my GP sooner

[BenD]

Hi Day Dreamy,

Welcome to beyondblue and well done for being brave enough to open up.

One of the most frustrating things with our mental health is the feeling of helplessness. That we can't control how we feel and that we don't know why we feel that way. I can see how angry you are from your words. It sucks.

However, there is hope. We can't completely eliminate our problems but we can make sure that they don't control us.

You seem like a pretty smart guy. You can think with a calm and level-head (even if you don't feel that way). You want to do well at school. You have a caring girlfriend by your own admission.

Like MsPurple says, the thing to do would be to visit your GP and a psych to get you on the path to feeling better. You don't have to find the solution all by yourself. We all need help from time to time.

Hang in there,

Ben