Young people

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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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cluire Moving school?
  • replies: 3

I'm tired of going to an all girls school. Almost nobody cares about education - only about their phones and trendy things. Many of the girls skip school, do drugs and alcohol. I don't feel like I belong. The place dirty, smelly and there are plenty ... View more

I'm tired of going to an all girls school. Almost nobody cares about education - only about their phones and trendy things. Many of the girls skip school, do drugs and alcohol. I don't feel like I belong. The place dirty, smelly and there are plenty of dead animals everywhere. The thought of going to school gives me anxiety. I have a few friends, but I sit lunchtimes alone because I feel lost and alone due to the fact its such a big place.. My mother won't let me transfer because "you have worked hard to go here. Moving schools won't change anything and boys will be worse !!!" I can't stay focused, because I feel attacked and stared down by the other girls for "not being feminine". I feel like going to a co educational school will help me become more social by not being forced down to gender roles. I have spoken to teachers about this, and some of them support my idea. Please give me some advice, I'm not sure if changing schools will be a bad idea. Thank you, have a good day!

gen_the_friend How to reduce anxiety and delusional thoughts/mindset
  • replies: 6

I'm feeling pretty on edge lately and i'm constantly turning around and checking to see if anyone is there around every 30 seconds to a minute or so. I just always feel like i'm going to see some creature peeking out from a door, or my wardrobe or lo... View more

I'm feeling pretty on edge lately and i'm constantly turning around and checking to see if anyone is there around every 30 seconds to a minute or so. I just always feel like i'm going to see some creature peeking out from a door, or my wardrobe or looking in through a window, and it doesn't help that my mum took down the kitchen window curtains. If I had it my way i'd have all the curtains closed at all times. I also find myself staring out into the back paddock along the treeline searching for some creature for extended periods of time. So what i'm asking is, does anyone have any tips on how to not feel so paranoid all the time or to reduce this heavy anxiety? I'm already onan antipsychotic medicine and im going to start seeing a psychologist again soon. My mum just told me shes going to put up the kitchen curtains again, so that will help but its not really a good solution. I just want to feel safe.

steel-feather complicated story, inexperienced mind
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone. I finally decided to voice my story! I am 22, been in depression for half a year. It started when I was had health issues and struggled at uni. There were 2 friends, friend A and B who i used to hang out a lot with, noticed that I was sa... View more

Hi everyone. I finally decided to voice my story! I am 22, been in depression for half a year. It started when I was had health issues and struggled at uni. There were 2 friends, friend A and B who i used to hang out a lot with, noticed that I was sad all the time and encouraged me to talk. So I did. Overtime, friend A started to distant herself from me. I didn't know why. I was sad and things started to hurt when she and friend B are very close together. And depression started and grew for this reason. My mind became confused and clouded since. I saw them both as close friends. I wanted to tell her about how I felt, but she withdrew herself more. I realised after through friend B that she felt guilty that she couldn't help me and didn't know what to do, hence the avoidance. So okay, I understood. Slowly, she realised that she needed to learn to be more supportive and said to me a couple of times that it is ok for me to talk to her and wanted me to be honest too. So for the couple of months after that, I just felt like I am floating in the middle of air. I was honest with her when she asked how i am. Sometimes, i go into a mood dip i also couldn't hold in much. But i guess at times, it she became more unsure and guilty so she avoided me more. It was complicated, confusing and weird in that, it took a while for me to figure that the main trigger for depressive episodes was the fact that I felt ignored/excluded when friend A+B still are very close together. And because friend A was also trying distant herself from me, I became very anxious to approach them. And even when i had the chance to, I just felt uncomfortable and the two of them would just chat away. Eventually A and B knew they were my triggers and they excluded me being in their group in an assignment. I get that it was good intention, but i was really hurt after that, because it was done so explicitly. And esp. leading up to this i was still hurt when they excluded me. Friend B couldn't do much because it was a problem between me and A. Friend A recently decided that me and her should pause the friendship because things are hurtful for us both. So we haven't been talking for a while. I still see dreams where i get hurt despite nothing much is happening in real life. I am extremely guilty and feel bad that i caused her troubles. Quite often, i feel life is stressful+ tiring. But people say, life only gets harder. I see a psych now which I find comforting when I talk things out with her.

BellyBug Aloneness
  • replies: 5

Hi there to anyone out there, The sitch is basically that while I'm putting in a decent effort to keep my depression and anxiety under control I just keep on being brought down by feeling incredibly lonely. It's partly a result of continued mental il... View more

Hi there to anyone out there, The sitch is basically that while I'm putting in a decent effort to keep my depression and anxiety under control I just keep on being brought down by feeling incredibly lonely. It's partly a result of continued mental illness making me feel a bit mentally and emotionally different to people I meet, other than that I've come to the conclusion that I must just be lacking something in my personality that makes people want to stick around. I meet hundreds of people at university and through sport, and while I do have some off days, I have developed the ability of the last few years to be quite chatty and upbeat and can sometimes have what seem to be really good conversations with people. I can make people last and fill lots of awkward silences (though I do have days when I don't have the energy for that). I invite myself to things, I throw myself in the deep end constantly, I try my hardest not to isolate myself and I honestly think I have been putting in a lot of effort towards making friends over the last two years since I started university. However it seems that no matter what I do weekend after weekend I am left feeling painfully alone, as if there is no-one I can go to to share time with. I love my family but they are 3000km away. I have one friend from high school but she studies overseas now. Meanwhile my housemates are never home because they are both in very passionate/adorable relationships (on a side note I have never been in a relationship, had sex or even been kissed despite being 21) and have huge social circles through which they move. They never invite me to things though I try my best to weasel my way into their plans, and I spend days on end being the only one at home while they are constantly out and about. I know two girls from home that are also in the same city at university but was never particularly close to them. On the few occasions that I have met up with them they just talk constantly about their amazing social lives and how they are literally out with a different friend every night. I don't understand what I am doing wrong, I chat, I laugh, I have interesting hobbies, I read, I think I'm fairly intelligent, I'm not hideous to look at, I smile, I suggest meeting up and getting to know people but I always find myself lonely and confused at why the people around me seem to breeze through this part of their life so effortlessly. Getting scared that this is my future, All the best, Belly

AlaeMortis At a loss. Unsure what the next step should be.
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone. I'm currently at a loss as to what to do next in life. At the moment, I'm wondering why I'm even bothering because everything I do just ends up in failure or rejection. I'm a twenty four year old female without a job. I graduated from un... View more

Hi everyone. I'm currently at a loss as to what to do next in life. At the moment, I'm wondering why I'm even bothering because everything I do just ends up in failure or rejection. I'm a twenty four year old female without a job. I graduated from university in 2015 with a business degree, but unfortunately, have no real life experience for any jobs in that industry. I've worked in cafes for the past couple of years but recently got fired by the boss (workplace bullying from the boss). I don't have a car because I can't afford driving lessons and I can't rely on my parents to keep paying for me. I've been trying to apply for any job I can, but they either require experience or a car of which I have neither. I can't even get a job as a newspaper delivery person. I'm too old for cafe work and too over qualified. I've tried removing my degree from my resume, but no luck still. I've shared my resume around with people who work in human resources to check if it's fine and they fixed it up for me. I don't know what else I can do and I'm worried I'm going to end up like a loser who will never go anywhere in life. No car, living at home, and unemployed. I thought about studying again but Centrelink won't give me any funds to help (got rejected from Newstart and not applicable for AusStudy and Youth Allowance because I already hold a high qualification). I don't know what else I can do as I've been searching for full time work since 2015. My cousins all have stable jobs and their own homes. They have partners, they have jobs and they have cars. Three of them finished high school and they're living a far better life than I and I kinda feel I wasted all these years at university for nothing. I recently got accepted into a Bachelor of Education degree, but if I can't get Centrelink support, I don't feel there's any point because I'd have no money to get anywhere anyway. Not only that, but I feel I'd be to old to get a job as a teacher when I've finished (would finish at 29).

9helpinghand6 I feel tired all the time
  • replies: 3

I'm 21 and in my final year of my university degree. My first year was plagued with friendship problems as a person I considered to be my best friend (5 years) decided to 'replace' me with someone else. My second year went relatively well and I thoug... View more

I'm 21 and in my final year of my university degree. My first year was plagued with friendship problems as a person I considered to be my best friend (5 years) decided to 'replace' me with someone else. My second year went relatively well and I thought I had my career plans sorted and friends and relationships. I looked forward to starting every day. My third year is where everything just seemed to go wrong. My dad has been sick for a while now and me and my mom have always been worrying about it. Last year, he suffered his second stroke and had to undergo open heart surgery and we weren't sure if he'd make it out. During this time, I also had two of my most treasured and valued friendships broken. One was with a guy I considered my other half and saw a future with, as in him and me side by side achieving our career and life goals (the feelings were reciprocated). The other, was a guy I considered to be my brother. I won't go into details just that it became a messy 'love' triangle. My uncle who me and my family went on a month trip with also passed away and that took a toll on my dad in specific. As a result of surgery, my dad needed to rest and took time off work. Unable to handle his FIFO workload, he decided to be made redundant and find work elsewhere. He has found it now but he is still very sick and genuinely just needs a lot of rest but he can't since he's the only one working in our family. Now, i'm in my final year and having looked at job prospects my previous career choice is not looking good. I've looked into other avenues and currently have a casual job but I'm struggling a lot. I can't motivate myself to study and I can't sleep well nowadays with the fear of the future. I don't know if I'm going to wake up and find out that my dad's gone and I'll have to support my mom both mentally and with money. We have a mortgage and bills to pay and I'm terrified of paying back my university debt. I'm pretty sure both of my parents are also experiencing anxiety and signs of depression and I really don't want them to know that I am too. Since they rely on me to be the happy and independent daughter. I want to enter into the workforce as soon as possible to help lessen my dad's load but its hard as I have no experience and can't do much with my degree unless I get a Masters/continue studies to be qualified. I'm not sure what I want out of posting this, maybe just advice on what to do? it's just been really hard lately and needed to unload.

nxrza Everything is a mess and I feel like disappearing. I have no sense of self. Feeling old yet not.
  • replies: 11

I turned 20 last week and though a student at a "prestigious" uni and involved in clubs and societies, truth be told, life cannot get any worse. Since starting uni straight from high school two years ago, I've changed degrees multiple times and don't... View more

I turned 20 last week and though a student at a "prestigious" uni and involved in clubs and societies, truth be told, life cannot get any worse. Since starting uni straight from high school two years ago, I've changed degrees multiple times and don't know when I'll ever graduate; feeling lost and confused. I've also barely made any real friends. The only guy I ever dated (shortly after entering uni) only ended up hurt me terribly. It makes it worse that I'm from a background where "high achievement" is expected and it makes me feel like a loser. I've even dropped out once but I keep that secret. Right now, I'm only doing a degree for the sake of it and it and feel completely stupid because I only chose it because I had no idea what else to choose and I had some credits for it already. It feels like a "loser" degree anyway. My transcript is abysmal so I don't know how I'm ever going to get a job and I know that I need to do postgrad but it feels that with these current marks, that is almost out of the question. I've been to careers' advisors e.t.c and they always ask me the same questions: "What do you like? What are you good at?" but to these questions, I can only ever say "I don't know". Since I was around 13, I've never truly had any real interests and though I have "friends", none of them are close and I am always the outsider in the group. I don't know what I'm good at and I look back at my life so far and just see a whole lot of wasted talent and potential; I know I could be doing so much better than I am. Ages 13-18 were spent plagued with depression and eating disorders so I never truly cultivated any passions and throughout the age of 19, I was just extremely lost. I don't know what my interests and passions are anymore and due to my past issues, I never really excelled in anything anymore. I tell people that I like art and music but the paintings that I show them were from when I was 15 and music, which I say I like I rarely even listen to or create. Most of my time has just been spent watching time pass by. I've fallen out of touch with the world and what is happening. I feel like everyone else knows what they want; my friends are all doing well in their medicine, law, architecture, science e.t.c. degrees and here I am jumping around, going nowhere. I'm too embarrassed to tell the people I know about my multiple degree changes and have absolutely zero self esteem, self confidence and no defining character or personality. I feel like a ghost.

hp01 Relationship confusion
  • replies: 2

I have been in a relationship for 5 years and during that time I have been confused if it is right and have had feelings for others. Currently I have feelings for a friend I have known for 1.5 years and I'm not sure it is because of depression that I... View more

I have been in a relationship for 5 years and during that time I have been confused if it is right and have had feelings for others. Currently I have feelings for a friend I have known for 1.5 years and I'm not sure it is because of depression that I looking for attention to make me happy or if I really am not happy with my current relationship and I'm seeking ways out. I'm so confused and can't rationalise my thoughts

Jamieleem98 I don't know what's wrong with me
  • replies: 1

throughout year 9-10 I always felt out of place in my group of "friends" whom I never felt like I was close with and never hung out with outside of school, in year 10 i started getting quite bad, withdrawing from everyone, stopped going to school mos... View more

throughout year 9-10 I always felt out of place in my group of "friends" whom I never felt like I was close with and never hung out with outside of school, in year 10 i started getting quite bad, withdrawing from everyone, stopped going to school most days and got obsessed with excersice and healthy eating which took a turn for the worst ending in a hospital stay for anorexia , leaving at a healthier weight two weeks later with a clearer state of mind,yay I kicked its butt!! but when I left I still wasn't going back to school, and ended up completely isolating myself for two years and still doing it now , I haven't been diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder but I go through horrible phases where I'm completely and utterly obsessed with a part of my body(generally my nose or my teeth" not in a phase now thank god, I just feel so bad that I've completely isolated myself and I should be enjoying my teen years, I see photos on social media of friends out having the best time while I've been stuck at my house 24 hrs a day every day for two years, most of the people I went to highschool with know of my anorexia past and I feel they'd just be friends with me out of pitty now because of it so I don't even bother, I also find it extremely hard connecting with girls my age, "what your wearing to that festival doesn't interest me at the slightest or why your fake tan turned out like that, and that's also isolating because the only people I know that have similar interests to me are online,( also me not going out and finding people with the same interests doesn't help) but it's so ridiculously hard for me to just go out by myself and do that, I'm constantly looking up what's wrong with me or why people do this or that and its like an addiction, I have horrible self esteem and was just cut off from a fund that was going towards braces(huge thing for me) which is killing me because it's all about the straight smile now, I've been shut down from every job I've applied for and I seriously just don't know what to do or how to go about anything , I have been to about 4 parties in these two years out of a random invite off a friend but got messy drunk every time further embarrassing me and making me want to move far away or not see anyone. Sorry if this doesn't make sense to anyone I just really had to let something out before I go into a 2 week full on mental breakdown

black_cockatoo I can feel my depression ruining my romantic/social relationships
  • replies: 6

My girlfriend and I have been together for more than a year. It's a long distance relationship - she's in melbourne, I'm in sydney. the start was rocky since she was moving away from an abusive homelife. but things soon became very happy. then depres... View more

My girlfriend and I have been together for more than a year. It's a long distance relationship - she's in melbourne, I'm in sydney. the start was rocky since she was moving away from an abusive homelife. but things soon became very happy. then depression caught up with me and it's been making my life hell. im a fulltime uni student in my 3rd year, so on top of my mental illness I have the stress of that and many other things. my girlfriend decided at the start of the year that she wanted to move to sydney by june/july, stating that she just can't go on with a LDR, and that she is able to wait until I move to do my postgrad study in Melbourne. she's already left her course and is applying for and job here. it's clearly very stressful for her, and combined with me I think it's hit breaking point for her. my depressive episodes have slowly been tearing my life apart. it's deeply affected my relationship. I feel like the move is a bad idea. she has friends and and good job and stability over there and I love her but I feel like I'm just not worth it. I haven't been giving her the support or attention she wants. I don't have any close friends here. I'm horribly lonely but I isolate myself. I don't have a job either. I barely scrape by. she distances herself from me which hurts because she's one of just a couple of people I talk to daily. but she overextended herself for me and she's tired from it so she is blunt and snappy with me. she told me she's unhappy because our relationship has "changed" over time. she once told me by accident that she "misses the january" version of me. Im currently seeing a psych. I'll probably be put on meds soon. I hope that helps. but I don't know what to do. I just need to talk to others with the same experience. I feel so lost and defeated. thanks for reading.