Relationship confusion

[hp01]

I have been in a relationship for 5 years and during that time I have been confused if it is right and have had feelings for others. Currently I have feelings for a friend I have known for 1.5 years and I'm not sure it is because of depression that I looking for attention to make me happy or if I really am not happy with my current relationship and I'm seeking ways out. I'm so confused and can't rationalise my thoughts

[geoff]

hello HP, sometimes people do want to associte with someone outside of their r/ship for support, because they aren't getting any help from their partner/spouse, it can happen quite often, so the direction of their r/ship changes, but you have to understand why this does happen, maybe this new friend knows that you aren't happy and wants to be there for you.
You make the point that 'you have been confused' in your current r/ship, so naturally you may think that if someone else comes along you can then leave, and don't forget that your partner may feel exactly the same as you do, and would like to have an amicable break up.
You need to establish a friendship with this new person, because it's been growing for over a period of 1.5 years and will only become more intense, so if thisis what you really want, it's time to talk to your partner, and as I said before they maybe wanting this to happen, but too frightened to discuss it, but it needs to happen, if that's what you want to do.
This new person isn't going anywhere, so it's time to make a decision. Geoff.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi hp01,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post.

I can understand how confusing it must be and I'm glad that you've recognised that maybe the thoughts aren't completely rational.

My suggestion would be to sit on it. Often and in my experience time can usually sort out fact from fiction. You may find that over time you can identify more problems in your current relationship that's making you look for a way out, or you may find that the excitement is what you need even though you are happy in your own relationship. What is it about this friend that's so appealing that makes you want to leave your current relationship? Sometimes time can help give us clarity that we can't always figure out ourselves.

The other benefit of this is that it allows you to figure out what it is you need right now; while also not hurting anyone else's feelings in the process.