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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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9helpinghand6 I feel tired all the time
  • replies: 3

I'm 21 and in my final year of my university degree. My first year was plagued with friendship problems as a person I considered to be my best friend (5 years) decided to 'replace' me with someone else. My second year went relatively well and I thoug... View more

I'm 21 and in my final year of my university degree. My first year was plagued with friendship problems as a person I considered to be my best friend (5 years) decided to 'replace' me with someone else. My second year went relatively well and I thought I had my career plans sorted and friends and relationships. I looked forward to starting every day. My third year is where everything just seemed to go wrong. My dad has been sick for a while now and me and my mom have always been worrying about it. Last year, he suffered his second stroke and had to undergo open heart surgery and we weren't sure if he'd make it out. During this time, I also had two of my most treasured and valued friendships broken. One was with a guy I considered my other half and saw a future with, as in him and me side by side achieving our career and life goals (the feelings were reciprocated). The other, was a guy I considered to be my brother. I won't go into details just that it became a messy 'love' triangle. My uncle who me and my family went on a month trip with also passed away and that took a toll on my dad in specific. As a result of surgery, my dad needed to rest and took time off work. Unable to handle his FIFO workload, he decided to be made redundant and find work elsewhere. He has found it now but he is still very sick and genuinely just needs a lot of rest but he can't since he's the only one working in our family. Now, i'm in my final year and having looked at job prospects my previous career choice is not looking good. I've looked into other avenues and currently have a casual job but I'm struggling a lot. I can't motivate myself to study and I can't sleep well nowadays with the fear of the future. I don't know if I'm going to wake up and find out that my dad's gone and I'll have to support my mom both mentally and with money. We have a mortgage and bills to pay and I'm terrified of paying back my university debt. I'm pretty sure both of my parents are also experiencing anxiety and signs of depression and I really don't want them to know that I am too. Since they rely on me to be the happy and independent daughter. I want to enter into the workforce as soon as possible to help lessen my dad's load but its hard as I have no experience and can't do much with my degree unless I get a Masters/continue studies to be qualified. I'm not sure what I want out of posting this, maybe just advice on what to do? it's just been really hard lately and needed to unload.

nxrza Everything is a mess and I feel like disappearing. I have no sense of self. Feeling old yet not.
  • replies: 11

I turned 20 last week and though a student at a "prestigious" uni and involved in clubs and societies, truth be told, life cannot get any worse. Since starting uni straight from high school two years ago, I've changed degrees multiple times and don't... View more

I turned 20 last week and though a student at a "prestigious" uni and involved in clubs and societies, truth be told, life cannot get any worse. Since starting uni straight from high school two years ago, I've changed degrees multiple times and don't know when I'll ever graduate; feeling lost and confused. I've also barely made any real friends. The only guy I ever dated (shortly after entering uni) only ended up hurt me terribly. It makes it worse that I'm from a background where "high achievement" is expected and it makes me feel like a loser. I've even dropped out once but I keep that secret. Right now, I'm only doing a degree for the sake of it and it and feel completely stupid because I only chose it because I had no idea what else to choose and I had some credits for it already. It feels like a "loser" degree anyway. My transcript is abysmal so I don't know how I'm ever going to get a job and I know that I need to do postgrad but it feels that with these current marks, that is almost out of the question. I've been to careers' advisors e.t.c and they always ask me the same questions: "What do you like? What are you good at?" but to these questions, I can only ever say "I don't know". Since I was around 13, I've never truly had any real interests and though I have "friends", none of them are close and I am always the outsider in the group. I don't know what I'm good at and I look back at my life so far and just see a whole lot of wasted talent and potential; I know I could be doing so much better than I am. Ages 13-18 were spent plagued with depression and eating disorders so I never truly cultivated any passions and throughout the age of 19, I was just extremely lost. I don't know what my interests and passions are anymore and due to my past issues, I never really excelled in anything anymore. I tell people that I like art and music but the paintings that I show them were from when I was 15 and music, which I say I like I rarely even listen to or create. Most of my time has just been spent watching time pass by. I've fallen out of touch with the world and what is happening. I feel like everyone else knows what they want; my friends are all doing well in their medicine, law, architecture, science e.t.c. degrees and here I am jumping around, going nowhere. I'm too embarrassed to tell the people I know about my multiple degree changes and have absolutely zero self esteem, self confidence and no defining character or personality. I feel like a ghost.

hp01 Relationship confusion
  • replies: 2

I have been in a relationship for 5 years and during that time I have been confused if it is right and have had feelings for others. Currently I have feelings for a friend I have known for 1.5 years and I'm not sure it is because of depression that I... View more

I have been in a relationship for 5 years and during that time I have been confused if it is right and have had feelings for others. Currently I have feelings for a friend I have known for 1.5 years and I'm not sure it is because of depression that I looking for attention to make me happy or if I really am not happy with my current relationship and I'm seeking ways out. I'm so confused and can't rationalise my thoughts

Jamieleem98 I don't know what's wrong with me
  • replies: 1

throughout year 9-10 I always felt out of place in my group of "friends" whom I never felt like I was close with and never hung out with outside of school, in year 10 i started getting quite bad, withdrawing from everyone, stopped going to school mos... View more

throughout year 9-10 I always felt out of place in my group of "friends" whom I never felt like I was close with and never hung out with outside of school, in year 10 i started getting quite bad, withdrawing from everyone, stopped going to school most days and got obsessed with excersice and healthy eating which took a turn for the worst ending in a hospital stay for anorexia , leaving at a healthier weight two weeks later with a clearer state of mind,yay I kicked its butt!! but when I left I still wasn't going back to school, and ended up completely isolating myself for two years and still doing it now , I haven't been diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder but I go through horrible phases where I'm completely and utterly obsessed with a part of my body(generally my nose or my teeth" not in a phase now thank god, I just feel so bad that I've completely isolated myself and I should be enjoying my teen years, I see photos on social media of friends out having the best time while I've been stuck at my house 24 hrs a day every day for two years, most of the people I went to highschool with know of my anorexia past and I feel they'd just be friends with me out of pitty now because of it so I don't even bother, I also find it extremely hard connecting with girls my age, "what your wearing to that festival doesn't interest me at the slightest or why your fake tan turned out like that, and that's also isolating because the only people I know that have similar interests to me are online,( also me not going out and finding people with the same interests doesn't help) but it's so ridiculously hard for me to just go out by myself and do that, I'm constantly looking up what's wrong with me or why people do this or that and its like an addiction, I have horrible self esteem and was just cut off from a fund that was going towards braces(huge thing for me) which is killing me because it's all about the straight smile now, I've been shut down from every job I've applied for and I seriously just don't know what to do or how to go about anything , I have been to about 4 parties in these two years out of a random invite off a friend but got messy drunk every time further embarrassing me and making me want to move far away or not see anyone. Sorry if this doesn't make sense to anyone I just really had to let something out before I go into a 2 week full on mental breakdown

black_cockatoo I can feel my depression ruining my romantic/social relationships
  • replies: 6

My girlfriend and I have been together for more than a year. It's a long distance relationship - she's in melbourne, I'm in sydney. the start was rocky since she was moving away from an abusive homelife. but things soon became very happy. then depres... View more

My girlfriend and I have been together for more than a year. It's a long distance relationship - she's in melbourne, I'm in sydney. the start was rocky since she was moving away from an abusive homelife. but things soon became very happy. then depression caught up with me and it's been making my life hell. im a fulltime uni student in my 3rd year, so on top of my mental illness I have the stress of that and many other things. my girlfriend decided at the start of the year that she wanted to move to sydney by june/july, stating that she just can't go on with a LDR, and that she is able to wait until I move to do my postgrad study in Melbourne. she's already left her course and is applying for and job here. it's clearly very stressful for her, and combined with me I think it's hit breaking point for her. my depressive episodes have slowly been tearing my life apart. it's deeply affected my relationship. I feel like the move is a bad idea. she has friends and and good job and stability over there and I love her but I feel like I'm just not worth it. I haven't been giving her the support or attention she wants. I don't have any close friends here. I'm horribly lonely but I isolate myself. I don't have a job either. I barely scrape by. she distances herself from me which hurts because she's one of just a couple of people I talk to daily. but she overextended herself for me and she's tired from it so she is blunt and snappy with me. she told me she's unhappy because our relationship has "changed" over time. she once told me by accident that she "misses the january" version of me. Im currently seeing a psych. I'll probably be put on meds soon. I hope that helps. but I don't know what to do. I just need to talk to others with the same experience. I feel so lost and defeated. thanks for reading.

MsPurple Dealing with frustration
  • replies: 6

How do you deal with frustration? I have been recently frustrated by friends and sometimes I don't know how to deal with it in a more product way. How do you deal with being frustrated? Sometimes I meditate or have a bath or talk to myself about my f... View more

How do you deal with frustration? I have been recently frustrated by friends and sometimes I don't know how to deal with it in a more product way. How do you deal with being frustrated? Sometimes I meditate or have a bath or talk to myself about my frustration. I'm trying to find other ways to deal with my frustration. Occasionally I drink (although rare it still makes me feel bad for doing it). Anyone have any suggestions or care to share of any stories?

Nic22 Im losing the people who love me and I can't seem to stop
  • replies: 2

Hi I wasn't sure if this is how you start but I was hoping this might help me . I am currently in a relationship and have been for 4 months. I have suffered with depression and PTSD for many years and have always tried to hide it until 2 years when i... View more

Hi I wasn't sure if this is how you start but I was hoping this might help me . I am currently in a relationship and have been for 4 months. I have suffered with depression and PTSD for many years and have always tried to hide it until 2 years when it got too out of hand and so I got help. At this point my family kind of knew the degree to what it was at but they didn't, and still don't, know what it means to be depressed. I tried to work through my issues but I ended up pushing them to one side and self medicating to forget. And this is where my alter ego emerged especially when I was drinking as id turn into a different person and only act as an observer to what my body was saying or doing. I am now feeling down and I'm taking it out on my boyfriend. My alter ego keeps coming back when I drink and so I've stopped. But I want to be able to go out with friends and bf and enjoy our nights and not ruin it which I have been doing for so long. To the point that my friends are sick of it. I don't know if I'm depressed like I was but Im uncontrollably sad which is brought about by the silliest things like a comment about what I'm wearing. Some nights I can't sleep because I don't want to wake up sad and have to go through the next day. I have been feeling like I'm not good enough and trying ways to improve myself. I am paranoid that my boyfriends cheating and doubting my relationship even when I know he loves me. I want to be happy and I don't want to lose my bf or friends and family like I have in the past.

reeg01 scared of yet to come
  • replies: 7

i'm 16 and my boyfriend and i have been dating for a little over 3 months now, i love him so much but i'm just so scared that i'll lose him that is becomes hard to think about anything else. We fight often and it scares me so much, i want to be with ... View more

i'm 16 and my boyfriend and i have been dating for a little over 3 months now, i love him so much but i'm just so scared that i'll lose him that is becomes hard to think about anything else. We fight often and it scares me so much, i want to be with him but i'm sick of crying and being sad. scared and sad

Aak Anxiety ruins everything, help!!
  • replies: 2

I've suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remember and when it comes to to guys my anxiety is SEVERE. I can't talk to the opposite sex without feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I get awkward just in case I might say something wrong and in which ... View more

I've suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remember and when it comes to to guys my anxiety is SEVERE. I can't talk to the opposite sex without feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I get awkward just in case I might say something wrong and in which most cases I'll start stuttering and go bright red. Even if I don't have a connection with a guy I still can't talk. I really don't know why I'm like this and I hate it. It has held me back from potentional friendships and relationships.

284Xxxxx am I worth loving
  • replies: 3

I've been dating someone for 8 months now, he's perfect, sweet and has done nothing to make me not trust him and would never hurt me. He cares about me and has the purest intentions. Yet I still struggle to let my walls down and trust him. Up until a... View more

I've been dating someone for 8 months now, he's perfect, sweet and has done nothing to make me not trust him and would never hurt me. He cares about me and has the purest intentions. Yet I still struggle to let my walls down and trust him. Up until a couple months ago I started getting paranoid that he was talking to other girls, looking at other girls and although I know he never would I'm struggling to get these thoughts out of my head. I struggle to keep myself from pushing him away, I've almost broken up with him a couple times now but each time I can't because I have so much love for him and I think he knows that's not what I really want. I'm struggling to be okay and happy with who I am. I'm constantly worried about not being good enough, making him unhappy and just not being good for him. He tells me how happy he is with me all the time but I can't bring myself to believe it. I feel like he's in a bubble and I just want to protect myself from getting hurt eventually and push him away. I'm struggling so much. I'm torn. I get these waves of wanting to push everyone away and be alone but I know that's not what I should be doing. i don't feel happy anymore. I don't like who I am, I feel like my friends aren't there anymore. I struggle to believe I make this boy happy. I'm scared I'm ruining him and making him unhappy but because he loves me he can't let me go. I'm struggling to be happy with who I am.

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