Young people

been a domestic violence victim since I could remember

replies: 3

been a domestic violence victim since I could remember- actually my only childhood (as in 2 yo as I'm technically not that old) memory, possibly gay and not a lot of people have been okay with it ,including me because ...well...a lot of people aren't... View more

been a domestic violence victim since I could remember- actually my only childhood (as in 2 yo as I'm technically not that old) memory, possibly gay and not a lot of people have been okay with it ,including me because ...well...a lot of people aren't ok with it, feel like no one cares and have no friends and that no one likes me cuz I'm a sad weirdo. Everything I used to do just feels like a chore now and I feel like I suck at all of that (music- yeah i'm a music nerd. Not really because I am trash at it) : my school dragged me to go to the counsellor because i was "crying in class" and I pretended I was fine which worked and then eventually I went to a psychologist for a few months and it felt like trying to have a deep conversation with Siri and I stopped that. And i feel sad all the time and have so for like a year and a half now. Domestic abuse in family a couple of days ago and I called the police and then ran to a friends house and hid there and felt stupid for even going there and my "family" probs wont ever forgive me and I dont know what to do anymore I'm done with all this I swear I've done everything and tried I just...yeah...don't know what to do anymore so yeah

I think I WANT to be sick

replies: 4

Hi everyone. I made a post here about someone else close to me a few months ago, but now I think it's time I address my own problems. I have been unofficially suffering from mental health problems for close to about 6 or 7 years now. I say unofficial... View more

Hi everyone. I made a post here about someone else close to me a few months ago, but now I think it's time I address my own problems. I have been unofficially suffering from mental health problems for close to about 6 or 7 years now. I say unofficially because I've never been to a psychiatrist/therapist, and have therefore never actually been diagnosed with anything. I did see a school counsellor a couple of times back in Year 12 a few years back, but only once or twice. I've often thought I could have depression or bipolar, seeing that I have gone through definite manic and depressive swings. On top of that, I'm convinced I have some sort of sociopathy/psychopathy as well, for multiple reasons that I don't particularly want to talk about here. The thing is though, this doesn't make me upset, or angry, or ashamed in itself. I actually want to get the diagnosis. I'm terrified at the idea of going to a psychiatrist and being told that I'm 'just a bit sad' or 'I'm normal'. I've lived with this for such a long time now, and I know my brain. I want them to tell me something is wrong with me. Is that really, really messed up? Is there anyone here who feels/has felt the same way?

It hurts so hard

replies: 3

Hello, I've been going through a lot of emotional stress lately. I've had a lot of people, who I thought I could trust to stand by me when things get tough, effectively turn their backs on me. If that's not bad enough; on an evening a couple of weeke... View more

Hello, I've been going through a lot of emotional stress lately. I've had a lot of people, who I thought I could trust to stand by me when things get tough, effectively turn their backs on me. If that's not bad enough; on an evening a couple of weekends back I went out with a group of friends, and I had to witness another person, who I know has it in for me, being in the ear on several occasions of someone I considered to be a particularly good and trustworthy friend of mine. At a time I need honesty, assurance, understanding from people, and to not be left in the dark; given I'm now having a hard time trusting people on face value, this ambiguity doesn't do well to make me feel at ease. At the end of the evening, I was left stranded in another particularly awful and stressful situation that I personally didn't need. I had asked the friend in question for a favour, but the friend couldn't do that favour for me and gave perfectly good justification for it. They werent in the wrong, in other words, but I didn't rationalise that at the time and I didn't react to the situation as gracefully (I didn't shout at or abuse them at all, but I wasn't my usual polite self) as I normally would have in usual circumstances. Needless to say, the friend in question didn't take it very well and has decided to cut me out completely, without giving me the chance to apologise or explain myself (I don't excuse how I reacted); or without asking me if I was OK. I don't have any way of making contact with them now. I've been there quite a lot for them and have asked for very little in return, and I was always happy to just be thanked for my time and assistance. I figured that it would be implied, though, that as friends we'd at least be there for each other through the easy and the tough times. I certainly would be there for this friend if the situation was reversed. This is someone who knows what I've been going through lately, too. The suspicion that I did not actually have the understanding I thought I did from this friend hurts really hard. I honestly don't know where to go from here. Advice?

Moving school?

replies: 3

I'm tired of going to an all girls school. Almost nobody cares about education - only about their phones and trendy things. Many of the girls skip school, do drugs and alcohol. I don't feel like I belong. The place dirty, smelly and there are plenty ... View more

I'm tired of going to an all girls school. Almost nobody cares about education - only about their phones and trendy things. Many of the girls skip school, do drugs and alcohol. I don't feel like I belong. The place dirty, smelly and there are plenty of dead animals everywhere. The thought of going to school gives me anxiety. I have a few friends, but I sit lunchtimes alone because I feel lost and alone due to the fact its such a big place.. My mother won't let me transfer because "you have worked hard to go here. Moving schools won't change anything and boys will be worse !!!" I can't stay focused, because I feel attacked and stared down by the other girls for "not being feminine". I feel like going to a co educational school will help me become more social by not being forced down to gender roles. I have spoken to teachers about this, and some of them support my idea. Please give me some advice, I'm not sure if changing schools will be a bad idea. Thank you, have a good day!

How to reduce anxiety and delusional thoughts/mindset

replies: 6

I'm feeling pretty on edge lately and i'm constantly turning around and checking to see if anyone is there around every 30 seconds to a minute or so. I just always feel like i'm going to see some creature peeking out from a door, or my wardrobe or lo... View more

I'm feeling pretty on edge lately and i'm constantly turning around and checking to see if anyone is there around every 30 seconds to a minute or so. I just always feel like i'm going to see some creature peeking out from a door, or my wardrobe or looking in through a window, and it doesn't help that my mum took down the kitchen window curtains. If I had it my way i'd have all the curtains closed at all times. I also find myself staring out into the back paddock along the treeline searching for some creature for extended periods of time. So what i'm asking is, does anyone have any tips on how to not feel so paranoid all the time or to reduce this heavy anxiety? I'm already onan antipsychotic medicine and im going to start seeing a psychologist again soon. My mum just told me shes going to put up the kitchen curtains again, so that will help but its not really a good solution. I just want to feel safe.

complicated story, inexperienced mind

replies: 6

Hi everyone. I finally decided to voice my story! I am 22, been in depression for half a year. It started when I was had health issues and struggled at uni. There were 2 friends, friend A and B who i used to hang out a lot with, noticed that I was sa... View more

Hi everyone. I finally decided to voice my story! I am 22, been in depression for half a year. It started when I was had health issues and struggled at uni. There were 2 friends, friend A and B who i used to hang out a lot with, noticed that I was sad all the time and encouraged me to talk. So I did. Overtime, friend A started to distant herself from me. I didn't know why. I was sad and things started to hurt when she and friend B are very close together. And depression started and grew for this reason. My mind became confused and clouded since. I saw them both as close friends. I wanted to tell her about how I felt, but she withdrew herself more. I realised after through friend B that she felt guilty that she couldn't help me and didn't know what to do, hence the avoidance. So okay, I understood. Slowly, she realised that she needed to learn to be more supportive and said to me a couple of times that it is ok for me to talk to her and wanted me to be honest too. So for the couple of months after that, I just felt like I am floating in the middle of air. I was honest with her when she asked how i am. Sometimes, i go into a mood dip i also couldn't hold in much. But i guess at times, it she became more unsure and guilty so she avoided me more. It was complicated, confusing and weird in that, it took a while for me to figure that the main trigger for depressive episodes was the fact that I felt ignored/excluded when friend A+B still are very close together. And because friend A was also trying distant herself from me, I became very anxious to approach them. And even when i had the chance to, I just felt uncomfortable and the two of them would just chat away. Eventually A and B knew they were my triggers and they excluded me being in their group in an assignment. I get that it was good intention, but i was really hurt after that, because it was done so explicitly. And esp. leading up to this i was still hurt when they excluded me. Friend B couldn't do much because it was a problem between me and A. Friend A recently decided that me and her should pause the friendship because things are hurtful for us both. So we haven't been talking for a while. I still see dreams where i get hurt despite nothing much is happening in real life. I am extremely guilty and feel bad that i caused her troubles. Quite often, i feel life is stressful+ tiring. But people say, life only gets harder. I see a psych now which I find comforting when I talk things out with her.

Aloneness

replies: 5

Hi there to anyone out there, The sitch is basically that while I'm putting in a decent effort to keep my depression and anxiety under control I just keep on being brought down by feeling incredibly lonely. It's partly a result of continued mental il... View more

Hi there to anyone out there, The sitch is basically that while I'm putting in a decent effort to keep my depression and anxiety under control I just keep on being brought down by feeling incredibly lonely. It's partly a result of continued mental illness making me feel a bit mentally and emotionally different to people I meet, other than that I've come to the conclusion that I must just be lacking something in my personality that makes people want to stick around. I meet hundreds of people at university and through sport, and while I do have some off days, I have developed the ability of the last few years to be quite chatty and upbeat and can sometimes have what seem to be really good conversations with people. I can make people last and fill lots of awkward silences (though I do have days when I don't have the energy for that). I invite myself to things, I throw myself in the deep end constantly, I try my hardest not to isolate myself and I honestly think I have been putting in a lot of effort towards making friends over the last two years since I started university. However it seems that no matter what I do weekend after weekend I am left feeling painfully alone, as if there is no-one I can go to to share time with. I love my family but they are 3000km away. I have one friend from high school but she studies overseas now. Meanwhile my housemates are never home because they are both in very passionate/adorable relationships (on a side note I have never been in a relationship, had sex or even been kissed despite being 21) and have huge social circles through which they move. They never invite me to things though I try my best to weasel my way into their plans, and I spend days on end being the only one at home while they are constantly out and about. I know two girls from home that are also in the same city at university but was never particularly close to them. On the few occasions that I have met up with them they just talk constantly about their amazing social lives and how they are literally out with a different friend every night. I don't understand what I am doing wrong, I chat, I laugh, I have interesting hobbies, I read, I think I'm fairly intelligent, I'm not hideous to look at, I smile, I suggest meeting up and getting to know people but I always find myself lonely and confused at why the people around me seem to breeze through this part of their life so effortlessly. Getting scared that this is my future, All the best, Belly

At a loss. Unsure what the next step should be.

replies: 1

Hi everyone. I'm currently at a loss as to what to do next in life. At the moment, I'm wondering why I'm even bothering because everything I do just ends up in failure or rejection. I'm a twenty four year old female without a job. I graduated from un... View more

Hi everyone. I'm currently at a loss as to what to do next in life. At the moment, I'm wondering why I'm even bothering because everything I do just ends up in failure or rejection. I'm a twenty four year old female without a job. I graduated from university in 2015 with a business degree, but unfortunately, have no real life experience for any jobs in that industry. I've worked in cafes for the past couple of years but recently got fired by the boss (workplace bullying from the boss). I don't have a car because I can't afford driving lessons and I can't rely on my parents to keep paying for me. I've been trying to apply for any job I can, but they either require experience or a car of which I have neither. I can't even get a job as a newspaper delivery person. I'm too old for cafe work and too over qualified. I've tried removing my degree from my resume, but no luck still. I've shared my resume around with people who work in human resources to check if it's fine and they fixed it up for me. I don't know what else I can do and I'm worried I'm going to end up like a loser who will never go anywhere in life. No car, living at home, and unemployed. I thought about studying again but Centrelink won't give me any funds to help (got rejected from Newstart and not applicable for AusStudy and Youth Allowance because I already hold a high qualification). I don't know what else I can do as I've been searching for full time work since 2015. My cousins all have stable jobs and their own homes. They have partners, they have jobs and they have cars. Three of them finished high school and they're living a far better life than I and I kinda feel I wasted all these years at university for nothing. I recently got accepted into a Bachelor of Education degree, but if I can't get Centrelink support, I don't feel there's any point because I'd have no money to get anywhere anyway. Not only that, but I feel I'd be to old to get a job as a teacher when I've finished (would finish at 29).

I feel tired all the time

replies: 3

I'm 21 and in my final year of my university degree. My first year was plagued with friendship problems as a person I considered to be my best friend (5 years) decided to 'replace' me with someone else. My second year went relatively well and I thoug... View more

I'm 21 and in my final year of my university degree. My first year was plagued with friendship problems as a person I considered to be my best friend (5 years) decided to 'replace' me with someone else. My second year went relatively well and I thought I had my career plans sorted and friends and relationships. I looked forward to starting every day. My third year is where everything just seemed to go wrong. My dad has been sick for a while now and me and my mom have always been worrying about it. Last year, he suffered his second stroke and had to undergo open heart surgery and we weren't sure if he'd make it out. During this time, I also had two of my most treasured and valued friendships broken. One was with a guy I considered my other half and saw a future with, as in him and me side by side achieving our career and life goals (the feelings were reciprocated). The other, was a guy I considered to be my brother. I won't go into details just that it became a messy 'love' triangle. My uncle who me and my family went on a month trip with also passed away and that took a toll on my dad in specific. As a result of surgery, my dad needed to rest and took time off work. Unable to handle his FIFO workload, he decided to be made redundant and find work elsewhere. He has found it now but he is still very sick and genuinely just needs a lot of rest but he can't since he's the only one working in our family. Now, i'm in my final year and having looked at job prospects my previous career choice is not looking good. I've looked into other avenues and currently have a casual job but I'm struggling a lot. I can't motivate myself to study and I can't sleep well nowadays with the fear of the future. I don't know if I'm going to wake up and find out that my dad's gone and I'll have to support my mom both mentally and with money. We have a mortgage and bills to pay and I'm terrified of paying back my university debt. I'm pretty sure both of my parents are also experiencing anxiety and signs of depression and I really don't want them to know that I am too. Since they rely on me to be the happy and independent daughter. I want to enter into the workforce as soon as possible to help lessen my dad's load but its hard as I have no experience and can't do much with my degree unless I get a Masters/continue studies to be qualified. I'm not sure what I want out of posting this, maybe just advice on what to do? it's just been really hard lately and needed to unload.

Everything is a mess and I feel like disappearing. I have no sense of self. Feeling old yet not.

replies: 11

I turned 20 last week and though a student at a "prestigious" uni and involved in clubs and societies, truth be told, life cannot get any worse. Since starting uni straight from high school two years ago, I've changed degrees multiple times and don't... View more

I turned 20 last week and though a student at a "prestigious" uni and involved in clubs and societies, truth be told, life cannot get any worse. Since starting uni straight from high school two years ago, I've changed degrees multiple times and don't know when I'll ever graduate; feeling lost and confused. I've also barely made any real friends. The only guy I ever dated (shortly after entering uni) only ended up hurt me terribly. It makes it worse that I'm from a background where "high achievement" is expected and it makes me feel like a loser. I've even dropped out once but I keep that secret. Right now, I'm only doing a degree for the sake of it and it and feel completely stupid because I only chose it because I had no idea what else to choose and I had some credits for it already. It feels like a "loser" degree anyway. My transcript is abysmal so I don't know how I'm ever going to get a job and I know that I need to do postgrad but it feels that with these current marks, that is almost out of the question. I've been to careers' advisors e.t.c and they always ask me the same questions: "What do you like? What are you good at?" but to these questions, I can only ever say "I don't know". Since I was around 13, I've never truly had any real interests and though I have "friends", none of them are close and I am always the outsider in the group. I don't know what I'm good at and I look back at my life so far and just see a whole lot of wasted talent and potential; I know I could be doing so much better than I am. Ages 13-18 were spent plagued with depression and eating disorders so I never truly cultivated any passions and throughout the age of 19, I was just extremely lost. I don't know what my interests and passions are anymore and due to my past issues, I never really excelled in anything anymore. I tell people that I like art and music but the paintings that I show them were from when I was 15 and music, which I say I like I rarely even listen to or create. Most of my time has just been spent watching time pass by. I've fallen out of touch with the world and what is happening. I feel like everyone else knows what they want; my friends are all doing well in their medicine, law, architecture, science e.t.c. degrees and here I am jumping around, going nowhere. I'm too embarrassed to tell the people I know about my multiple degree changes and have absolutely zero self esteem, self confidence and no defining character or personality. I feel like a ghost.

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