Why does messiness trigger me so much

[Minsushi]

Hey guys there's a problem I came across not a long while ago that really bothered me. So I was cleaning my table and tidying things up when I suddenly felt a rush of anger. I realised it was because my desk was so messy I didn't know where to start from and I got stressed over how long the tidying was going to take me. I felt so angry I grabbed a few books and bashed them on the bed and knocked a few things on the ground on purpose to make some noise. My parents asked what was going on and I told them I just accidently drop some things. The bashing and dropping temporarily relieved me but when I saw the mess I made I became even madder. So in the end I started to throw things where I can't see them and once they were out of my sight I was calm again. I know this might just be me being lazy and not wanting to clean properly but the way how I acted really scared me. The anger literally came from nowhere. One second I was humming a song and the next I got so stressed I started to violently throw things. This happens every time when I see something is messy and requires me to spend a long time tidying. So is it just me or can someone relate?

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Minsushi,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post!

Whenever someone asks 'is it just me' you can be reassured it's never just you.

I can relate to what you've gone through, and I know it surprised me too because I'm not an angry person. I don't know much about what's going on for you, but for me the mess was the 'icing on the cake' of everything stressing me out. Maybe that's the same for you too. This can be especially true if the things that are stressing you out you aren't dealing with - so in a way they can get pushed down which is why they seem to explode with no moments notice!

Often mess too can be a bit of a symbol of control; so when we have a tidier house it can feel like we're a little bit more in control of things - we know where they are; it's not too hard to get around the place etc. So while throwing things helped you feel better, my guess is that that feeling didn't last too long.

Hope this resonates with you a little!

[Starwolf]

Hi Minsushi, welcome to the forums.

Acting out of character and out of control is indeed scary. On top of this is the feeling of shame at behaving in a negative way to a situation which wouldn't normally warrant it.

Perhaps your stress levels were already high and the mess was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back.

Obsession with messiness can also be a symptom of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

I believe the wisest thing to do is to observe future reactions to disorder in your life. If the angry outburst was a one of, there is little to worry about. If it is repeated, you may have to look into anger management. If it becomes a habit, OCD is what you may be up against. With the right help and support, it is treatable.

Kindest thoughts.

[startingnew]

hi there welcome to the forums

i agree with the others about the OCD as well

have you considered seeing a therapist to help you manage these feelings as well?