Not sure what is going on

Briss · ‎10-05-2017

Last year I had a lot of energy and used to go at full speed all the time, I was managing working, full time studying, seeing friends, seeing family, going out and everything. I also was really into running and used to get up and try go for a run most days. I was switching courses into exactly what I wanted but this year has been a total mess. I don't know what happened one day everything was together and the next i was feeling horrible, exhausted had no energy was forgetting things, struggling to get out of bed, I would go to work come home and stay in bed. As soon as i started loosing it two of my closest friends stopped speaking to me and told me I was a horrible friend etc. I thought it was getting better and I was coming out of the weird mood I was in but it has been more than four months now and its not changing, some days i feel like maybe I'm okay but for every good day there are a lot more bad ones, I can't concentrate or focus on my studies, I'm not doing very well, I'm stressed all the time, I quit my job and haven't been motivated to find another, I don't engage in many social activities as I am always exhausted and if I do i get stressed and have no energy for other things, I don't feel like i have time for anything, but i am also not doing anything. I'm always tired, i get a full 7 hours sleep and wake up feeling exhausted and go back to sleep for another 3-4 hours and still feel tired, i struggle to get out of bed and just want to sleep and watch movies. I don't know what is going on, i don't feel like i have a right to feel like this but i cant stop it. Ive tried telling doctors how tired I am and I've had blood tests to check my iron and thyroid etc. but they cant find anything wrong. I feel sick all the time and just wish i could stay in bed. Its coming to final assignments and exam time at university and i don't know how I'm going to make it through i just feel so pathetic and I don't know what to do.

RandR · ‎10-05-2017

Hi Briss,

Thanks for sharing your post and reaching out 🙂 I'm Raman, a former major depression sufferer of 12 years who can relate with your mood and how you are currently feeling.

Wow, running almost everyday requires a fair level of committment. If you were to use one word to describe what running means to you what would it be?

I'm sorry to hear that the last few months have probably felt like you have been somewhat derailed, however, you've taken a courageous first step in posting and reaching out so well done. Sounds like things were going in the right direction before you started feeling the way you currently do. Do you mind if I ask if there were any life events that occured around thios period of time? Sorry to hear abouy your friends. Horrible is a pretty specific term to label a friend. Any ideas what their motivation for saying that was?

The feelings you are describing are similar to when I had depression. My ex partner also suffered major anxiety and PTSD (fatigue, feeling tired, losing all motivation and not wanting to be in social environments was a daily battle for her). I too also get lathargic and tired whenever I stop doing something that releases endorphins. The good thing is that you have written on Beyond Blue and reached out as well as acknowleding your situation.

Quote often it's more in the mind than in the body, which could explain why the DR's can't find anything.

Once again, you've taken a great first step.

I look forward to hearing back from you Briss and talking further if your open to it.

Raman.

BballJ · ‎11-05-2017

Hi Briss,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

RandR has provided some great advice and asked some great questions.

I have seen these types of issues before where you feel in control one day and the next you feel you have lost all control, it can be such a daunting feeling, I do understand that. You said you have spoken to doctors before and had tests run, have you ever spoken about mental health with them and maybe asking them to do a mental health plan? If you aren't aware a mental health plan is a little assessment a GP does with you where they give you a questionnaire and it asks you about 10 questions and you give yourself a grade between 1 and 5... you then get a total score and gauges your mental health and they then use that and may refer you to a psychologist. In my opinion it is worth doing because as RandR said, sometimes it can be all in the mind rather than the body. I have suffered from anxiety for around a decade and it wasn't until I decided to see a GP and a psychologist did I finally gain some clarity on my mental health.

Please feel free to post back as much as you wish, these are non judgemental forums and a safe space for you.

My best for you,

Jay