I think I make my aniexty worse

[Liam007]

So for the last month or so, I feel like I'm having a lot of social anxiety.Feeling lonely and isolated

I got invited to a party for work (I work as a casual for McDonalds). I originally said I wouldn't go. I felt like going would make me feel terrible as I would be left alone at the party, but then I decided "Why not?" and told them I would come.

Anyway the day of the party arrives, It started at 6:00 and was going to run until 10:00pm, I enter and discover there is not ONE person I know there. So I sat on my own for a while. Soon some people I knew turned and I went and sat them. I didn't make conversation because they were talking with each other I didn't want to interrupt them. Then I just started to feel uncomfortable, this is the first time I have ever been to a party on my own. I just couldn't stop shaking or checking the clock.

By about 7:15 I gave up, I told one of the guys I was leaving and just walked out

I now regret ever going. I wish I didn't change my mind.

I feel like my attempts to "leave the comfort zone" or "take the plunge" are disasters waiting to happen.

Same thing happened when I auditioned for a community play, I made mistakes and felt like I was annoying the entire cast and crew, I then quit the play with 5 days until opening night

Also sharing my creative artworks, one them got gratified. I know feel like I was just want to hide myself from the world out of fear I will embarrass myself or look stupid.

I don't know what to do. I feel like if I try to fix anything by myself...it just goes wrong. I just don't feel like I will ever fit in or belong. I just feel like I'm a weird outcast......

[Liam007]

Hi Neil, sorry for the late reply. The computers at my school for some reason give this site a lot of glitches which is a shame because I love reading the site in my free time. No games at school for me 😉

I've just started Year 12.  So this time next year I will be finished but it feels like such a long road. People tell me "You have such a long and wonderful road in your life ahead..." but I have so much nerves about where I'm going.

My headspace appointment was fine. I did have a particularly low moment on Monday. I had a kid call me autistic and then wrote a list of reasons of reasons why I disliked myself. Monday was not a good day. Tuesday was not as bad but still not great.

 I have school production so I'll let you know how that goes. I'll back a bit later.

 Liam

[Neil_1]

Hi Liam

With your road ahead – yes we know there’s so much ahead of you;   but honestly for the time being, I’d be breaking it down into much smaller chunks.  Don’t be concerned about the larger picture about what might happen in years to come, because honestly, you can’t know what’s coming up – you can create roads to try and get to that, but that’s too big a thing to be concerned with.

Getting yourself through this current period of time is the key factor.

This other person sounds like a cowardly bully – I wouldn’t give him any satisfaction with anything that he says.  There are different ways to handle it, but I think to me it seems like you’re potentially ignoring him – which frustrates bullies, because 99% of the time, they are seeking a reaction.

I do have a question to ask though – we’re in late November and you’re saying that you’re now commencing Year 12 ???   I thought all the new Year’s always commenced at the start of the calendar year?  I’m intrigued by this.

Also, not sure if you check out other “Young People” posts, but there’s a few newbies coming on here a bit of late – I was just wondering with someone of your experience that you’re developing and also how you’d see things from a Young Person’s point of view, I think you’d be able to provide valuable advice and support to others.  Just a thought, but I think you’d be quite good at it.  You express yourself very well.

Neil

[Liam007]

Hey Neil,

About Year 12, yeah once Term 4 starts we are offically considered Year 12 students. I'm not sure how other schools work, but that's how ours does it.

I had a brief nice moment today, an actor who is famous around my town came to school for a presentation. I actually approached him said hi and I that I liked his movies. He chuckled and said "Thanks man".

With posting on other peoples stories, I'm not sure I can't offer a magic solution or any positive thinking advice since I myself struggle with them. All I can do is "empathize"

Talk later, I'll be back later this evening with a bit more

Liam

[Liam007]

Hey Neil, back again. More stuff came up that I had to mention.

So there are TWO Christmas parties I've been invited to. The first is with a model club I'm a member of. The second is the school one. I don't think I'll go to either. The model club cause I won't know anyone has I've barely been any of the meetings this year mostly because of exams and the negative emotions. The school one because I feel like I would freak out badly, I've already have had embarrassing moments with school this year and I really don't think I want to go.

I know that me going to McDonalds was massive step but I feel like attempting twice in a short time is not the best idea, I need to feel better about myself before I attempt anything 

[Neil_1]

Hi Liam

I've never heard of that before about a Year 12 commencing at the end of the year;  an interesting concept that your school has with that.

Well done you, on going up to the actor and speaking to him like that - that must have been a buzz and that's a big step you took to do that.  There's a hell of a lot who would have wanted to do that, but just sat there.  Good stuff Liam.  🙂

Posting to others and empathizing is still a very noble gesture and it also announces to the other person that they are being heard.  You may have found on this site where a lot of people will comment back, "Hey thanx so much for writing - I honestly didn't think anyone would".  So just a few words of encouragement or just a quick hi to say, "yes I'm hearing you and it's a rough situation you're in";  just things like that.  It's all good Liam.

And with parties;  only you can know the right thing to do, but I believe with how you're talking and feeling about the school party, it is probably the best idea TO stay away from it.  There'll be other parties and plenty of other occasions when you are feeling better to go to.

Neil

[Liam007]

Hey Neil,

With the actor, I don't think a lot of the kids at our school knew who he was. I actually greeted him by name and I think he gave me a "how do you know that?" expression. I explained that I followed his podcast and loved it.

I've been having a lot of headaches recently, I think it might be stressed induced though. Our school plays opens this Wednesday. I'm really fighting myself screaming "DON'T QUIT, DON'T QUIT".

I haven't mentioned this before, I was involved with a community theatre play a while back. I made a lot of mistakes on the set and caused frustration. I felt bad and like the production could run better without me. So I quit with only 5 days till opening night. It was an awful moment, I was actually heartbroken.

But hopefully I'll get through it. I'll let you know how it goes

P.S Don't worry too much about that other post, I felt like it was a separate subject that I needed to mention elsewhere and not jumble it in here.

[Neil_1]

Liam

This is so important.   Look inside yourself - look at what you know about this upcoming play.  You've no doubt rehearsed and rehearsed;  you know your parts, you know your lines.

Liam, you WILL be fine.  The key here is to know inside that you know your role;  know your lines.   And above all else, take big deep breaths as well.  3 or 4 of them, really DO work wonders on helping with getting a calmness happening.

If you need to post again about this, please do so - but you're going to be great - you're a talented young man.  You enjoy this and that's half the battle;  you enjoy something then you're going to do well because of the enjoyment that it brings.

Write soon

Neil

[Liam007]

Hey Neil,

The play is tomorrow, there's no turning back now. I'm in it for the long run. I already quit one play and I'm not doing that again.

But the Social Aniexty and Self Worth is worse. Someone I knew has just started ignoring me, I have no idea why and thought I did something to upset him I messaged him saying whatever I said or did I was really sorry and didn't mean to upset him. I have not heard back from him and mostly likely will never hear from him again.

This caused me to have another sad episode, I felt like I hated myself for being unable to keep freinds and always screwing it up. I just don't feel like I know where I belong or am supposed to "shine". I don't feel like I've made a good difference in anyone else's life. I feel inadquete

But to end on a postive note, I'll stick the school play out to the end and once it's done the school term is pretty much closed to finished.

Talk soon,

Liam

[Liam007]

Hey Neil,

Got through the first show okay, It was kinda of weird though. I get uncomfortable talking and interacting with people but had no stage fright whatsoever.

Talk soon

[Neil_1]

Hey Liam

Mate, that is awesome news.  Congrats and I hope that you feel very proud of yourself - that is fantastic to hear.

And there you have it I reckon - when we have to have social interaction with people, there are no scripts, there's no lines (I mean, what do we say to others;  and from then, how do we follow up, etc) and that's where it becomes uncomfortable.  I'm hearing you loud and clear on that.

However, with this Play that you're in - you've got your lines, you know the script;  you know how to act and what to do and BINGO, you nailed it bro.  Awesome stuff.

Now you've just given me a thought - that so many of us before have already done, etc.  How do we face people in the real world - if it's difficult being yourself, then "act".  Just a thought.

How many times is the Play happening?

Neil