help? I need someone to talk too

[Nakka]

I suffer from anxiety and depression and lately it has started getting really bad, im to ashamed to tell anyone let alone go to a doctor because im one of those people that keep everything inside and just get over it (tell people I don't feel feelings).

I tell myself im just imaging it and that im fine and to get over it.. (feeling makes me feel weak aand embrassed) I have completly isolated myself and feel alone. Even self medication. What can II do? 

Btw (im a 20yr ofemale)

[amamas]

Hi Nakka11

Firstly I really celebrate you for sharing online, very courageous!

Secondly I really feel for you!  I'm very much the same, externally tough, happy, strong while inside I feel as though I'm dying/dead.

Finally and extremely importantly I'm only speaking from my personal experience it is so good to have someone you can be real with.  Someone you can share your pain, your weakness, doubts and frustrations with.  For me that's my psychologist.  It may be that or someone else for  you but I highly recommend you find someone.  

I found it soooooo scary the first time I went but now it's so good.  One hour a week where I'm free and safe to be me.

Hang in there, I'm thinking of you!

Cheers amamas

[Pluto]

Hi Nakka11, 

I agree with amamas, that you are very courageous to post something online. You only posted 2 hours ago, yet I am sure many lovely people will reply with encouraging messages and support. 

I am only 16, and am recovering from severe depression caused by an eating disorder. I was terrified to tell anyone that I wasn't happy but I eventually did and although I can't say it was all good from there, things DID get better, and it was because I went to someone to talk.

There are so many options: your GP, a counsellor, a psychologist, a psychiatrist.  I have seen all of these people, and they are trained to talk you through things, not to judge and to help you. It may be scary at first but remember  ' all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, and I promise you something good will come out of it' . If it scares you to go alone, find a trusted friend or family member to go with you for support. Remember telling someone and asking for help is not weakness, it's strength.

I can relate to the feeling of telling yourself you are imagining it, and to get over it, but trust me...it never works. One day you have to deal with your emotions, and the quicker you do it, the quicker you will feel better again....and you will feel better one day, you just have to believe it.

I encourage you to tell someone, as they say 'a problem shares, is a problem halved'. Good luck !!

Pluto

[Manc]

Hi

I have just been diagnosed the same, but deep down I already knew it.........I havent been to work since last Wednesday, I cant face it, but like you, I dont knw how to be so open and honest as everyone thinks I know the answers,m and as an ex soldier everyone thinks I am tough as old boots, but inside i AM A MESS. I have drank far too much alcohol and smoked tons of weed and synthetic, this week I decided to just go to the docs and spill it all out, he has prescribed an antidepressant (today is day 1)  I have emailed work to say I have depression, but I still dont know how I am going to go back to work..................I suppose what I am trying to say is, just go and gush it out to the doctor, they see this all the time, and once you do this, you might find it as a beginning to feeling better..............I thought I could deal with anything, and the hard part is there is not one thing I can blame it on, its just a mind set.  I am also going to book in at the councilors, and see where that takes me, as the doc reckons there is enough in my past and present to send anyone down the road of depression....I am also going to keep a diary to see if that helps me make any sensse of this.....giving up the  weed is my biggest dread, and I think will be my hardest battle as its my safety net (in my mind) I can drift away and not have to keep thinking of all the dark thoughts, but apparently it makes me worse and tricks me into thinking it helps xxxx are you on any drugs?...be honest as you dont know me

[vip]

Hi Nakka take yourself off to a GP asap depression is an illness and needs to be treated so look at it like that. Take care

[Helpme]

hi Nakka11

i am actually in the same situation of you. i have begun to have really bad thoughts recently and really feel i need help. however i am not the kind of person to go and talk to anyone about my own problems, i'm more the friend who everyone comes to for help.

i am thinking about taking the chance to go and see a doctor for the first time regarding my mental state and i would love it, even though we don't know each other, if we could both go and get the help we need. 

i believe we can do this and work towards feeling better about our own lives.

believe in your own strength and capability: you can do it!

[Ragnarok]

Hey Nakka11,

I can relate to how you feel. I've experienced depression and anxiety for years. I've also self-medicated. And I tend to isolate. Only difference is I'm a 30yr old guy. And I study psychology.

I've learned a few things over the years, especially regarding depression and anxiety. To heal such issues, it depends on what the problem is: you can't fix the problem unless you know what the problem is. Although the cause varies, how it affects us is fairly similar.

For depression, exercise and being active is extremely effective. Socializing also helps. Both of which can be difficult, because like you said, when we feel depressed we tend to isolate ourselves. When depressed we fall into our minds and internalize. So getting into your body and the external helps.

Anxiety, especially in the more extreme forms, can be really difficult to cope with, and in some cases feels much worse than depression. Dealing with anxiety depends a great deal on what type it is, which often relates to what caused it. However, one fairly common effect of anxiety is muscle tension. So one very effective way of reducing anxiety is to relax your muscles (which is more of a pain-relief than a cure). I personally get a lot of tension in my stomach and legs whenever my anxiety kicks in. Also relax the muscles in your face. The face communicates, among other things, our moods and emotions. So relaxing your face can reduce intense emotions and moods, such as depression or anxiety.

I should also point out that emotions are not a bad thing. They are a sort of barometer for our lives and let us know when things are going good or bad. Pain for example hurts, but it has a useful function: it gets our attention and lets us know something is wrong so we can change it. Feeling also lets us know we are alive. Depression and anxiety (and other things) are just one way the mind and body lets us know something is going wrong that we need to change.

Hope this helps, even a little.

Ragnarok

[Nakka]

Firstly thank you everyone you are amazing people. 

I know that I need someone but it feels too difficult to do so, for an example you know when you have bbeen drinking and you say or do something stupid then you wakeup feeling stupid and it goes over and over in your brain? That's the ffeeling I get when I think about talking to someone about it just for tfact Itell myself im imaging it. Ifeel like theirs no one I could tell because I usally act so tough, feelings make me feel ashamed which I struggle to understand. Because I tell myself im making it up I can't tell people without feeling like im lying and that people will think im making it up, it's messed up.

Being able to talk to you guys and people on here is great it feels good to say it so thank you all

[Nakka]

Hi manc, yea thats how Ifeel.  And tto answer your question yes I do. Alcohol prescription drugs, illegal ones. Anything I can get ahold of as it makes me feel better and more normal.

[Nakka]

Wow thank you so much ragnarok,  my body is always sore and tense. As I was reading this I even noticed my shoulders were up and my teeth clenched.