Having a hard time accepting myself

[Liam007]

I have doubts, I made another post on this board elsewhere but I have so much more I want to say.

As I mentioned in the other post, it's in the school section. I find myself not really fitting in with my school because I am pretty much a goody two shoes, I don't like taking risks and I refuse to drink alcohol.

But here I just wanted to discuss a few things that happen because of or outside of school.

I basically feel worthless, I don't feel as if I have done anything to help anyone else, have nothing to be really proud of or feel like I contribute anything to the world. I feel as if my existence is pointless

There are some nights I can't sleep so find myself taking self-esteem tests online and trying to listen to the saddest music to make myself cry.

I find myself apologizing all the time for the littlest mistakes, repeatedly.

 Any advice to lighten up on myself? Am I thinking about too much at my age? (17) Should I wait a little longer till all those things come into play?

Thanks, Liam

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[Doolhof]

Hi Liam,

Regarding your acting role, maybe the guy has just taken some of the pressure of you so you will feel more successful!

Sometimes if I start to feel stressed out because I feel like I have too much I need to achieve, then I write a list and tackle one thing at a time. That way I am not so overwhelmed and I feel like I can achieve something worthwhile!

Okay, so you have had a couple of days at school and you have been to see the psychologist. I hope both things have gone well for you.

I too know that it is not good to bottle stuff up. Sometimes I tend to explode a little. Ha. Ha. It is not really a very good look! Ha. Ha.

Hope the return to school ahs been okay.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Liam,

I haven't seen you around on the forum for a while so hope you are doing okay.

Do you have much planned for the weekend?

Hope you are travelling okay.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Liam007]

Hey Mrs.Dools sorry for the late reply. I'm having some rocky moments

 I just can't cope. I'm sad all the time. School is just draining at the moment. I'm getting tired of so many excursions and having decline and go through the "Are you sure? It will be fun!" every single time, I know what they're trying to do, but I just want to leave it

I wish I went to TAFE and not there. Counselors have tried to tell me those people are "lucky to know me" but I know they don't think that, they don't like me and wouldn't notice if I was gone

 I'm just having a really tough time

Sorry for the rant, Liam C

[Doolhof]

Hi Liam,

Goodaye. Sorry to read you are having a tough time at present, I get that, but in a different way.

This morning I had coffee and M&Ms for breakfast! That is how my day started! Ha. Ha. I just wanted to cry. Felt really rotten for no real reason other than the depression.

Thankfully the day improved. My husband and I went for a walk with a friend and her dog to a gorge that is not far from us at all. It is so beautiful. I hope to go there again soon for another walk. We actually saw a couple of kangaroos as well.

Came home and I felt lousy again so I let the chooks out and spent some time with them then did a lot of pruning and cleaning up of the garden until I was exhausted.

So it ended up being a good day.

Regarding those excursions, why don't you go on one now and then, you might end up enjoying yourself even though you think that may be impossible.

Some times we need to step out of our comfort zone and check out something different.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Liam007]

Hey Mrs.Dools,

I couldn't do the excursions, a lot of them are more a "fun reward" then something that is compulsory or important to studies.

I'm not going to my graduation assembly or formal, Year 12 has not been fun with so I don't want to bother with the celebration ceremonies.

Trying to go out of my comfort zone is what caused me trouble, I was always shy, tried to break that and crashed dived.

Liam

[Doolhof]

Hi Liam,

Sorry to read that you find it so hard and difficult to step out of your comfort zone. Hopefully you will be able to conquer some of that as time goes on.

There is so much out there in this amazing world of ours to experience.

So how did you spend Mother's Day? Is your Mum one of those ladies who enjoys breakfast in bed? My Mum never used to.

My nieces stayed with us sometimes the weekend after Mother's Day and made me breakfast in bed for  what they called "Happy Auntie's Day". I loved it!

Are you still involved in the activities at the old folks home or was that just for a short period of time?

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Liam007]

Mother's Day was fairly relaxed, my Mum doesn't get too involved in the whole thing much.

 The old folks home activity, doing some more outdoor clowning stuff in the future. The home was just a one time thing.

I had a rough day, I had to confront my year adviser and tell him I wasn't going to graduation or formal and some kids have started giving me a hard time

 I'll post back a little later

[Doolhof]

Hi Liam,

Regarding those kids giving you a hard time. Can you try to just ignore them?

Once they realise they can not bother you with their words they will give up.

Tell them you are not interested in anything negative they have to say.

Hey, it is the weekend! Time to chill out and relax! So how are you going to spend your time?

Hope you can do something different and exciting to help change your thoughts and your mood.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Liam007]

I'm trying to avoid them, their of part of the reasons I'm not going to formal or graduation assembly, I don't want to be around them

 My weekend was quiet

 Talk soon, hope you are doing okay

[Doolhof]

Hi Liam,

Quiet weekends are okay!

My husband was out catching up with friends on Sunday, so in the afternoon I spent a lot of time in the garden and broke up a pile of sticks ready for our wood stove.

Our chooks were out for some free time as well. They are so hilarious! One kept hanging around me to see what I would dig up for her. They don't like going back to the hen house when I need to go inside.

I pick them up two by two and carry them back to their house. One has started to peck me now when I do that. I don't want to leave them out alone as we have seen foxes in the yard and one tried to dig into the hen house recently.

So what is the most interesting thing you are doing at school at present?

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools