Hi Liam,
yep, I'm still here. I'm the guy that has been trying to convince you that being outside of the box is good, nothing to be ashamed about.
Clowns.....yep been there to. In fact you and I are very similar but I'm 59yo.
My brother spent a lot of his diabetic life in and out of the Royal Childrens Hospital Melbourne. He passed in 1979. So in 1983 I decided to repay the hospital in some way. But can a manic anxious and depressed guy attend suasage sizzle to fry up some onions? or rattle tins at traffic lights? Nothing wrong with those activities but not for me. So "Yobbo" the clown was born. See manic or hypo people cram a hell of a lot in their lives. Hence most like me burn themselves out at 55yo. Hence most often someone on this site tells us of what they have done and most times- I've done it. No bragging though.
The hospital worked in conjunction with the Moomba clown club. We got together monthly to learn tricks and hone our skills. Skills of softness and gentleness required for young children. For me Yobbo's greatest accomplishment was to get a sad child to laugh- just once, then move on to the next. To get the parent of a sick child to laugh or at least smile, maybe when their child smiled.
With clowning you create you own character, another personality. For me during that time my most cherished painting and drawings were of the laughing clown and the crying clown. Yobbo, in reality was happy, gentle and caring until he got back into his red convertible sports car...then sadness came quickly.
So, I remind you Liam, your desires are not stupid, and the unusual core of it all is only because you are not in the mainstream. Being so original, creative and on the brink of some sort of fringe of showbiz is exciting. But above all else its you.
Most people go through life doing what humans do most common. Education, job, surf, girlfriend, surf, marry or defacto, job, surf, rent, work, rent, work, buy house, work overtime, have kids, dream of surfing, etc. And they never find themselves. They never spend time to expand their thoughts and dreams. You are doing it.
Wow. You are so darn lucky. Go for it and never stop chasing it.
Tony WK
