Grades in School

[Megmariiee]

Hello everyone,

 For the past year or so, I have been obsessing over my grades. I am viewed as a perfectionist, meaning that if I do something and it doesn't get an A or it's not perfect - I freak out (and not in a good way). Tears well up in my eyes, my breathing starts to get rapid and all I can focus on is the B that I got and how dumb I feel. If it's not an A, I'm not happy and if it is an A, I don't feel happy either - all I feel is relief.

 Is this normal? I haven't gotten less than an A in a month or so but I'm scared I'm going to make a fool of myself and panic in front of everyone at school... And just because I got a B...

 Thanks everyone, 

megmariiee

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Megmariiee,

Thanks for reaching out to BB. It's important to remember that there is no 'normal' here. 🙂 and it's totally okay if you are a bit of a perfectionist.  This can actually be a really good quality to have; because it means that you spend time and care on your work and you like it to be a good standard.  But it can also be unhealthy if you get worked up over a B like you mentioned.

One of the things I would recommend is to talk with someone about what it would be like getting a B - what's wrong with a B - if anything?  Does it make you think that you'll fail, and if so, why?  Even a C is still deemed competent and will be all you need to pass (depending on whether you are at primary/high school).

It's also important to try and remember that your grades are only one tiny tiny part of your life.  Even though they still matter, they don't matter half as much as we think they do at the time.  I know I used to get so worked up if I didn't get a high score like my friends did - when now I look back and I wished that I spent more time enjoying it.

🙂

[shad0wings]

Himegmariiee nice to meet you :}

Grades are definitely are complicated thing. Personally, my sister was not considered 'smart', and as a result, all the pressure was on me to exceed expectations. I was an A grade student, but I was not at an A grade in happiness. 

Getting A's are great, but getting B's or C's mean no less in regards to your intelligence. Grades are guidelines - they are not the be-all-end-all. 

In the end, school does not teach you everything there is to know. You do not get tested in how to talk to people, how to build a house, how to manage relationships and more. It's because of this point that school is not everything. It might seem like it to you, but trust me it is not. School is a beginning pathway into the rest of the world. Some drop out of school onto other pathways. 

Try and see the bigger picture and you will feel heaps better - trust me! 

~ Taylor