Feeling lost and emotional after a traumatic event

[ScaredGirl]

Hi,

Im new here and I wasn't sure where else to go and talk to someone about this.

I was involved in a car accident a few weeks ago where the brakes on my car malfunctioned causing me to lose control and go over the median strip into oncoming traffic. I hit a 4WD head on as they were going 70km/hr, I rebounded off them and ended back on the median strip facing the way I had came. Police, ambulance and fire departments attended. Everyone involved, including myself were taken to hospital, here the woman that I had hit was two beds down from me and came up to me to talk. She let me know that herself and friend were all fine, slight whiplash and some soreness but okay. She talked to me for around half hour and told me that it wasn't my fault and everyone was okay. I stayed in the trauma department for 2 days with severe whiplash, cuts and bruises and an injured pelvis.

Following the accident was was severely depressed, I didn't eat, sleep, talk or anything for at least a week. I couldn't, every time I tried I had nightmares, flashbacks and a constant feeling of guilt and anxiety. I ended up going to see a psychologist where I was diagnosed with PTSD and began exposure therapy.

 I am a uni student and my end of semester exams were a few days after the accident, I didn't end up doing these until next week. I have been trying to study but I have no concentration and I end up getting frustrated and angry at myself because if it wasn't for me none of this would have happened.

I now have constant anxiety and can nearly get into a car without having a panic attack, I feel guilty and depressed most of the day, I get at least 3 nightmares a night and constant flashbacks so I barely sleep and I have noticed now that I have an anger problem, little things set me off to the point where I yell and get frustrated for no reason. I have emotional breakdowns constantly where I will cry for hours not knowing what to do. I feel like I'm letting my family and people around me down and that I'm not good enough for them.

Im at that point where I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if there is any other ways to deal with his, medications for what?

Sorry for the long story but I really needed to get that off my chest.

Thank you

[Jacko777]

Hi SG,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, I am glad you were able to get this off your chest and I am sorry to hear it has been tough for you. It's not surprising, you have been through a very stressful event and I am so glad you have professional help. Please know that with time and action you will recover from this.

Perhaps we can liken your recovery to physical injury, say if you hurt your self, you have initial treatment and ongoing treatment, your body still hurts for a while even though you are on a path of recovery. So I wonder if these emotional breakdowns come from your 'injured' mind and the severity will most surely reduce as you recover. I hope you can follow your psychologist's advice, keep on track, try and take satisfaction from knowing you are taking the right path even though some days it might seem like you are going backwards..

I hope your psych has told you, this wasn't your fault. If your brakes malfunctioned, how could you have done anything different? Know that you did your best under stressful conditions. No one would expect that you crashed your car intentionally. Thank God you are all alive.

Meditation and breathing exercises have helped me a lot to control my thoughts in moments of depression and anxiousness. I try and stay focused on the things that bring me happiness and peace, keep diverting your focus to these things.

Talk any time.

Jack