Feeling ashamed to be a White Male

[KFPDW]

I'm a male myself and I have NEVER EVER been sexist or disrespectful or racist to anyone ever. Not now, not EVER!!!! But I feel like what ever I come across in media, it feels like all I hear is "White Males Are Bad". When I watch shows like Charmed and I come across certain scenes where Males are regarded as bad people, it makes me feel uncomfortable. You got shows like the Neighbourhood sitcom that I came across where they cover racism where a black guy gets put in a jail cell for being black which is so NOT fair whatsoever. And the main lead says the police system is working the right way for white guys but not black people or any other culture. And white people will never understand whatsoever the pain other people go through. And they whole policeman beating up a black guy which leads to the black lives matter movement. 😞 I feel like I'm ashamed of all these bad things happening even though I have done NOTHING to do with anything of that bad stuff. But because of the long history I hear of white males doing bad stuff, I feel like I have to be responsible for that or feel as though it's my fault. It may sound silly but I feel like all I hear is White Males are bad and cause problems.

I feel like if I see someone in pain or needs help, I want to be able to help or show support no matter what their colour or background is. We are all still human beings after all and all this dumb bad stuff like racism and sexism shouldn't be around any more. Nor should it have existed in the first place. I hate the fact that bad stuff like this still happens and I feel helpless to see it pop up in media or fiction. I felt ashamed to be a white male so many times and my friend says I shouldn't, all that stuff isn't my fault and I shouldn't take on the responsibility of other people's actions that I don't even know. Focus on my own actions and what I can change. But because all that stuff happens, I feel like I get stuffed into a category where I'm a white male and are automatically the enemy. And no matter how hard I try to help and try to show that not all white males are bad, I feel like I can't make a positive difference. Like I'm powerless to make a positive change so people can see not all white males are bad people, or even white people in general. I want to be able to try and understand what others are going through as well as try to stop bad things from happening.

[KFPDW]

Hi Chadicha, Thank you for responding to my post and for understanding how I have been feeling. What you're saying about the assumptions having no power over me makes sense. It can be hard to not let it get to me so easier said than done. But what you have said helps a lot. The fact that so many people have responded to my post understand where I'm coming from makes a world of difference. I no longer feel like I'm trapped with these thoughts and people understand my point of view. Thank you for your kind words and I will be taking them on board moving forward. 🙂

[smallwolf]

you know that saying ..

a few bad apples spoil the bunch.

I think that part of the news you see or hear is to create a picture of the person and using minimal descriptors. After all we love (sarcasm) to create categories and label things. So when you that a some person did X, it adds to that impression this type of person does X. And the problem can be that when there is only a few, those who do not do X can be tarred with the same brush such as "all this type of person do X" which is false

I guess my way around that is that I do not really watch the news much any more.

[KFPDW]

That's a solid way of putting it. Yeah I don't watch the news that much as it gets to negative. What is annoying is that it appears in media like tv shows and what not. Especially nowadays where it feels like "all this type of person do X" is used more and more to get that point across to the audience that people doing X happens in society. Like the news, it creates that picture like you said and it's uncomfortable to see it happen more and more which is not enjoyable to watch. Entertainment is about escapism from the negative aspects of life, it can show that bad things happening like in real life but it feels good when you see it get resolved in some form or another which creates more hope that negative stuff can be resolved in real life. I like it when that sort of positive message comes up. It's annoying when categories and labels keep coming up and that so many get tarred with the same brush.

"A few bad apples spoil the bunch." is a perfect way this all up.

[Guest_34661326]

Hey KFPDW,

Thanks for sharing how you feel. I’ve read everyone’s comments and my question is: is this a problem from a white male’s perspective or a nice-to-have to see positive change? I’m curious to understand what this positive change you’re speaking of is all about.