Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Joining the ADF with previous Anxiety and depression

replies: 10

Hi, I'm 16 years old and i'm considering joining the RAAF when I turn 18 (year 12) and applying to be a CISCON (which is a non-combat role) however 4 years ago I attempted suicide (only ever once) and later was diagnosed with anxiety (due to an abusive father) and am now taking medication. my anxiety has been minimal for the past 2 years but sometimes arises (not frequently though - rarely) I have seen medical professionals such as psychologists to help manage my anxiety and stress and I am still currently getting support from professionals and hope to manage my anxiety without medication within the next twelve months leaving another twelve months free from medication before applying for defence. I was wondering if anyone has some advice or insight about my chances, what I should do and any other information. Thanks.

I feel very unhappy with my life.

replies: 6

Apparently I'm terrible at explaining myself, so I apologize if I don't make any sense.The past couple years have been really hard for me and I don't think I'll ever fully recover from them. My Mum went to hospital multiple times for (I feel so guilty telling the internet about this when I promksed my Mum I would not tell a sole) her addiction to medication. I was not aware of her addiction until a few months ago at her most recent hospital trip. She always told me her 'illness' was 'just a stomach ulcer' but it's so much more complex than that. I've had to watch my Mum's body start to shut down; uncontrollable twitching, too weak to sit upright, memory loss, loss of speech, etc. Those images are ones that will haunt me forever.This medication is used in some pain relief medication and due to my Mum's addiction, I'm too scared to have any in the house. I let myself suffer just so she doesn't have the temptation. Because my Mum was sick a lot, she hardly work and we ended up in debt. It got to the point where we either sold the house or let the bank take it from us. So we sold it & moved in with my Nan. After about 7 months we had some money left over and decided to rent somewhere. But that didnt last long and we had to end our lease early due to Mum's 'illness'. The latest hospital visit did something to me and ever since then I truly have not been the same. For a while I felt like my life had stopped while the world sped up around me. It affected me academically and I made the decision to drop courses at Uni (which has added an extra year onto my degree). Lately I have been feeling very dumb (when i dropped the courses my mind felt like it had stopped and it still feels like that), disconnected, lonely (I have 3 friends who Ihardly see or speak to me and most days it seems like 2 of them couldn't care less if I was dead), worthless (the only people who seem to want to spend time with me is my parents and it hurts), guilty (all the signs of my Mum getting sick are so evident now and everyday I blame myself for the latwst episode - I should have noticed something was wrong), and that I am a failure to my family and friends (I have no job nor do I have my license and am constantly reminded - especially every time i see my Dad and his side of the family).The above paragraph is probably all I needed to say but I needed to get my Mum's 'illness' off my chest. I'm not sure what I'm looking for by posting on here, but maybe the outcome will be positive.

I struggle expressing my emotions

replies: 2

Hi guys, I'm a 16 year old male, I have a good family,friends and support network who I feel safe and comfortable around, yet for as long as I can remember I have had issues expressing how I really feel. I have a tendancy to be a people pleaser and try to be everything for everyone, unfortunately as I am going through my VCE studies, sport most days a week and going out, I am finding myself feeling sad but not being able to express this. I'm not some toxic masculinity type of person, I just haven't cried for nearly 10 years, I'll lay in bed upset but it is all internal and I just bottle it up and try to forget about it. It's starting to take a toll on my sleep and when I find myself alone and I don't know what to do.

School Stress

replies: 3

I am only in year 8 this year but every I am still so stressed. Every 2 weeks we have a maths exam. They go towards our grade so I can't screw up. Most people say oh it's not that hard, don't worry it's only year 8. The thing is though I am doing year 10 maths making it even more difficult.It is one of the most stressful things ever. We now have to do 8 modules and each take roughly and hour and a half and this week we only have 1 maths lesson rather than 5, due to public holidays, school events and excursions. I have 3 maths lessons next week and I have currently done 2. We use an online program called Maths Pathways and anttime I have a question for the teachers they just tell me oh watch the video, that makes me think or something similar. I cry almost every weeks from stress and anxiety on this and passing the test. The worst part is when I get an A on my report card it is always why didn't you get an A+ there is still room for improvement. There is no emotional support from my mum and I will tell her I need mental help and she just says it's just a phase you are fine. I have been really struggling because I have no friends and no support from the school or my family. I hope someone can relate and if you do get help at school. Talk to a counciler or a trusted teacher.

I miss him so much.

replies: 1

I miss him so much it hurts. We were good until we went long distance. I wanted us to work out and I wanted our relationship to be better but it didn’t work out. It got worse and eventually I blocked him and permanently ended things. We didn’t work out, we don’t suit each other. Still I love him so much and believe no one is better than him. He’s my world and I can’t just let go so easily. I’ve tried moving on but I always go back to him. This time I want to stop going back. I looked at our old messages and there is about nine straight pages of me apologizing. I was always the one apologizing and he never apologized for anything. He was toxic and emotionally and mentally abusive yet now that him and I are officially over forever I can’t live without him. He didn’t know how to communicate, he never texted first, he always wanted to do something sexual and never wanted to have an actual conversation but I still find a way to convince myself I love and need him. I wish we were perfect together and I wish he was with me forever. It felt like he was the only one who knew how to make me happy and that he was the only one who understood me but he was manipulative. He isn’t a good man and I know that but we lasted so long and I feel so hurt that it’s over. I think about unblocking him and adding him back multiple times. Telling him I’m sorry for ruining us even though it wasn’t just me. He brought out the worst version of me and I was so drained with him. Now that we’re over I miss that feeling. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be happy in love because for the time period that we were together I’d be happy having a single conversation with him. We didn’t do anything any normal couple did because he never tried to save us. He only came back because he knew I’d take him back and I’d apologize a million times. I feel disgusted and angry with myself for letting our relationship go this far. I’m weak and I have attachment issues. I’m struggling and some days I just want to curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep. No one loved me the way he did, toxic or not. No one will ever love me like he did.

Emotional dilemma

replies: 3

Hi everyone. I'm in a bit of an emotional dilemma right now regarding this guy that I'm friends with. We met about seven months ago last year at uni, and it was very obvious right from the get-go that we had feelings for each other. After a couple of weeks we both told each other that we liked each other and we spent more time hanging out at uni together, lots of hugging and kissing, very romantic kinda stuff. However I started to get anxious because it felt like it wasn't really going anywhere beyond that or wasn't gonna turn into an actual relationship, so I asked him where he thought this was progressing and where it would go in the future. His response was that he was actually emotionally confused and in all honesty saw me as a friend, which came as a massive shock to both myself and my friends who had been around the two of us because of everything he'd said to me and the way he'd acted around me up until that point. For the rest of the uni semester I didn't talk to him, but when the four month break started I messaged him and asked if he still wanted to be friends, which he said yes to. Over the uni break we would text pretty much every day, but it made it difficult for me to actually work through my feelings and get over him, but spending time not seeing him in person was definitely beneficial and I was nearly over him. About four weeks ago, we went back to uni and now I have to see him twice a week in lectures. Most of the time he comes and sits with me. My issue used to be wondering if he ever even did have real feelings for me and wasn't just confused like he said, but even my counsellor who I see told me she believes he did have real romantic feelings for me. The issue now is that he's giving me mixed signals- he doesn't really talk to me much outside of uni at all, but in lectures when he sits with me he'll find lots of accidental ways to touch me and leans right up against me when he talks to me, like he's trying to grab my attention. I've also heard from some other girls I met at uni that he's not a super awesome person, but I don't want to probe about what happened between them because it's none of my concern. None of my friends are happy with the mixed signals he's giving me right now, and I'm torn because for the most part I'm over him, but being around him still hurts a little bit sometimes. Should I keep being casual friends with him, or should I cut him off?

Terrified of approaching women in public

replies: 1

Hello all, It's been a while since I've posted on these forums. This would probably also suit the anxiety forum but I decided to post in the youth section since I thought people of my generation might understand my concerns more.Basically, the subject says it all, I'm 22 and have never had a date, I get no traction on dating apps and so my only method is IRL. However, thanks to my studies in criminology, I am hyper-aware that the majority of women don't go out to meet people or anything like that. It's bad enough that I am basically terrified to approach women in public (even in bars or clubs) as I don't want to ruin their night or just be another dude who interrupts them. However, I also know that the majority are not there to hook up or find a date which doesn't help. I have no idea what to do, I should mention I'm 6'3 with a broad intimidating build which doesn't help. I also have basically no self-esteem and don't believe I hold any attractive traits. Kind Regards, Deltius.

Being Ignored / cut off

replies: 8

I have a new group of friends and every time I talk or answer someone’s question I always get cut off or get talked over by someone else and when I try and tell/ show anyone anything everyone ignores me or changes the topic.. they always say to me that they care about me and there not bad people.. but it’s happened all my life.. from Family and Friends doing it and even my partner does it to me and I have no idea how to stop it happening or prevent it.. I keep telling myself that I must be a really non interesting and such a boring person but I need to know is there anything I can do about it?? Or is there any solutions??

a decision on leaving highschool

replies: 1

I haven’t really thought too much about this but I wanted to see if anyone had any advice or opinions It’s quite a privileged problem but I thought this might be helpful. I’m in my final year of year 12, and just a little bit under halfway through but I’m seriously considering leaving (possibly recommending travelling or starting tafe or restarting my final year next year as I skipped a grade earlier on). at the end of yr 10 I got a depression diagnosis with a fun side of panic disorder and for the remainder of that year and all throughout year eleven I began to struggle with school work for the first time. I was pretty irresponsible with my meds and other self medicating, and even though this year I should be in a much better place, having moved away from that situation, it’s sort of worse than ever. I still get good grades and my teachers are constantly begging me to try - but I do, in deadline sense periods I feel like I barely sleep let alone rest. the last few exams I did where abysmal and I keep missing assignment deadlines (the last two were almost by a week). this morning I missed another one and my motivation and focus and frankly ability is going totally down the drain. maybe the system just isn’t compatible for whatever is going on in my brain. At the same time, I really care about education and I love learning. I am lucky enough to go to a pretty academically rigorous priv school, and so I would also be wasting my parents struggle to pay for those fees (but I guess getting worse than I already am + flunking even more would be wasting it too). I guess it might be stupid to give up now, but everything feels insurmountable and I feel like I don’t have care left to do the reading and writing and creating that is actually where I learn most. My diagnosis and meds are all still in the air and iv been constantly switching concoctions, but still no real effect apart from constant fatigue and nausea. Mood-wise I only get those small iotas of serotonin when I’m ignoring school but then it puts me more behind = more freak out! Sorry for the all about me rambling! Hope you all have a nice day!!!

overbooked, preoccupied, burnt out

replies: 2

Hi there, I hope you're all doing well and looking after yourselves Just need a vent, but I welcome advice, and thank you in advance for the time you've given to reading this. I'm turning 20 this year. I work 2 great jobs, I study my passion at uni, I have a little but wonderful social circle including my loving boyfriend, and I'm going on exchange to study in Japan next semester. I have a loving family however complex, I don't pay rent, I bought my own car, and I'm hopefully getting my Ps this week. I'm extremely grateful for all these things. The only thing I lack is time. But I am so exhausted and overworked. Between job 1, job 2, uni, working through the exchange process, preparing for practical placement for my education course, working towards my Ps, and maintaining all my friendships/relationship... A few days a week I wake up for work at 7am, work from 8:30 to 5, then go home to work my second job 6-8. By the time I eat dinner and shower, I am so tired and have no energy to do anything productive, such as my overflowing uni work that I simply cannot keep up with. I know the simple solutions is just "do less" – but I can't afford to. I can't work less hours because I have to fund my exchange, and everything else is simply mandatory. Another simple solution is to stay up later, but I feel like I've reached the age where I cannot physically or mentally function if I'm tired, so I can't help but go to sleep at my usual bedtime every night (11:30pm). It's gotten to a point where I'm just looking for escapes; skipping class to sleep, reading instead of studying, procrastinating with music or browsing or online shopping, always saying yes to social outings to get away from the constant grind, etc. I know people have it way worse than me, and I'm grateful for all these opportunities. The funny thing is, I've struggled with depression since my early teens, but for the first time I haven't felt depressed in a while despite how much I'm struggling. So there's that! I know this post is a big sob story about how privileged I am, but this isn't sustainable and I can't do it and I don't know what to do to fix this. I wish I could just float away to a little cabin in the woods, and read and paint and bake and write.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Joining the ADF with previous Anxiety and depression replies: 10

I feel very unhappy with my life. replies: 6

I struggle expressing my emotions replies: 2

School Stress replies: 3

I miss him so much. replies: 1

Emotional dilemma replies: 3

Terrified of approaching women in public replies: 1

Being Ignored / cut off replies: 8

a decision on leaving highschool replies: 1

overbooked, preoccupied, burnt out replies: 2