anxiety about sleeping next to boyfriend

[imogen1]

my boyfriend is visiting me from overseas in a few weeks and we have never slept in the same bed but decided we would this time for two weeks.

im having a lot of anxiety about sleeping next to him because i have severe panic attacks and disassocitive episodes, he knows this and says it's ok if we need to sleep separately sometimes but i really don't want to waste time doing that.

i don't want to make him feel like a burden in my house, but when i think about sharing my bed with someone i feel nauseas.

how can i confront this problem?

[xCrumpetx]

Hello Imogen 🙂

Do you have these stressful episodes every night? Maybe try to figure out exactly what you are anxious about. For example, if you had a panic attack in the future, are you worried he won't know what to do? Or he might see you differently? Or maybe something else entirely.

I think that getting to the root of why you are worried will help you start to look for solutions 🙂

From crumpet

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi imogen1,

Just wanted to say a big welcome to the forums and thanks for being here.

I think xCrumpetx is right on the money here. What exactly do you think is making you feel nauseated? Is it that maybe you think he won't know how to react, or you'll scare him off, or be "too much" for him? Or maybe that the idea of seeing him will trigger more panic attacks and dissociative episodes?

I think it's great that you've been able to tell your boyfriend about what's going on for you and it sounds like so far that he wants to support you by allowing you to sleep in separate beds. This shows me that he really cares about you as not all boys want to do that 😛

Perhaps if you can talk more about what's worrying you we can help put your mind at ease. I know from my own experiences knowledge is power - so when we know it gets easier and when others know it's easier for them too.

Hope you enjoy being here.

[Jessicatherese94]

Hi Imogen, it's completely okay if you don't feel comfortable sleeping next to your boyfriend yet. If you're not ready, maybe you can just ask him to sleep in another room or he could sleep with you a few times if you're feeling okay about it. I'm sure if he cares about you he wont feel like a burden at all. Like the others said, maybe if you think about why that makes you feel uncomfortable you may be able to start unpacking that and feeling better about it all. Sending you love.

[geoff]

hi Imogen1, at the moment this doesn't mean that you don't love your b/friend, maybe this is causing you your nausea, because you do love him, but this is not what you are ready for, and that's completely understandable.

You have to get used to living under the same roof, what meals are going to be cooked by you or him and whether you like them, what temp the flat should be, who does the dishes and who does the shopping and laundry, all of these have to be decided before you feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed.

All of these will naturally fall into place as the days pass, then maybe your anxiety maybe reduced. Geoff.