Where is the line where I can say It's not me, it's you?

[Helarctus]

Context: Somewhere in the middle of getting a grip on my own reality after a recent self harm episode I stumbled into. One of my friends is having their own moment in parallel caused by other unrelated external triggers piling on for them.

Just got off the phone with them and the conversation felt like it was veiled stabs because I'm not rushing 200km to see them or able to step out of work more than half an hour for a call.

But Ugh, I know my perception is off at the moment while meds adjust and I'm struggling with my issues, where does the guilt stop, what is the line I can draw to say, this is where I can help or listen to and what is the best way to communicate this when the person speaking and the person listening are both in their own quagmires.

As much seeking suggestions as just a need to vent on the matter while my brain ticks over.

Regards,

Helarctus.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Helarctus, 

Thank you for reaching out to the forums for support today, it sounds like you are going through a lot at moment. It can be really tough to look out for our own wellbeing when we want to support someone else at the same time. Please remember to look after yourself first of all. 

There are some great articles on supporting others on the website that you can find here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/personal-best/pillar/supporting-others

You've also found a great resource in this section of the forums on supporting others, have a look around and feel free to join those ongoing conversations as well.

Kind regards, 
Sophie M

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there

I think it's great that you've recognised this:

"when the person speaking and the person listening are both in their own quagmires."

It really represents a unique challenge. Sometimes space and reflection can help make things a bit clearer. I hope that's the case here. If you feel that you need a bit of support, please do reach out to the helplines, or continue to chat here.

Katy

[Helarctus]

Missed a call, called back and now the paranoia about playing phone tag and being too late to effect an outcome sets in.

First thoughts are that they need better, we both do.