Tips For parents , how to cope with suicidal adult children

[Amands]

Any tips welcomed on how to cope with supporting adult suicidal children. All help he can get is in place , but it’s a full time job at home to watch and support him. 
thank you in advance . 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome 

I'm sorry yo hear you need such assistance. I'm glad that you've got all the processes in place though, well done.

Here members and community champions are non professional people most with lived experience and mental health issues. In my case I'm 69yo and had a lifetime of suicidal thoughts with one attempt in 1996.

For readers- men's suicide numbers are 5 times that of females and total suicide numbers exceed the national road toll.

During my down times I've found that I've had plenty of people had said "you can always ring me" or "I'm here for you". However personally I never contacted anyone. This is why it's a dangerous mindset.

What I did respond to was simple friendship where it grew to the point that I could share my inner pain willingly. And that's the main thrust of my post. If he/she detects too much worry it won't help. Maximum laughter, general support, sharing interests eg Netflix, sport, hobbies and imo the less alcohol the better.

Feel free to reply. Do they have a passion? Maybe in the past? A girl/boyfriend? Work?

TonyWK 

[Amands]

Thank you TonyWK for your reply and Testimony which is encouraging. I’m sorry you have had this battle, but so happy you are still here. 
as a parent it’s hard as ultimately my son has to accept alcohol is not only a depressant but masking the issues. His father unfortunately succeeded with his attempt when he was little.  We have all the professionals on board. 
I’m trying to em outage interests again. I understand depression you just can’t do things . I do believe he will get through this. 
thank you for your point , over protecting doesn’t help. Due to an attempt I’ve had to remove keys , hose, all knives, medications and know where he is . My son does reach out to friends on the phone. Needs to make friends face to face which is hard unless joining something.thank you again for your reply. 

[white knight]

Thankyou

Ever tried buying non alcohol drinks and pouring them into glasses for dinner pretending its alcoholic? Then hopefully he wants another one then you can tell him it isnt alcohol?

BTW you are an incredible parent. Wished my mother was as good.

THE KINGS MAZE

There's a maze in the kings garden where confusion has begun

And as they try to find the exit they have a lot of fun

Some succeed to find their way but a lost son begins to cry

They are only comforted by their mother passing by

And as they walk towards two paths she encourages them to split

She is best to get him to find the exit - to use his wit

And he arrives at the end but returns to the maze

He defies all logic but his efforts isnt on the stage

He finds her just as she is about to cry

He shows her his love and as a son he does defy

He returns his love at the maze made  just for fun

The king is satisfied that they are a team... mother and her son...

TonyWK

[Amands]

what a beautiful message. 
Thank you!

I have definitly discussed non alcoholic beer. 
the issue seem to be self medication to drown out the thoughts and help sleep. Some nights even full strength doesn’t seem enough. I’m positive that with psychology will help and medication will help But alcohol decreases its effectiveness and changes brain chemistry and I’ve learned in recent research can cause psychosis. It’s a double edge sword. 
Thank you for listening and your encouragement. 
You have blessed me with encouragement . 

[white knight]

Well, you made my day.

I use a cpap breathing machine. I attended an overnight sleep study to find I had moderate sleep apnoea.  So be aware of that possible issue. 

Does he have distractions? Hobby, interest? 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/depression-distraction-and-variety/td-p/275790

TonyWK 

[Amands]

Thank you Tony WK

i just followed the link to your post regarding distraction. Thank you , very helpful and to read others replies to your post. 
I have recently purchased a second hand bike, basket ring to encourage old hobbies to return. 
Thank you again for taking the time to respond and help. It’s most encouraging.