Support / advice for parent for 25 yr old son with MH and alcohol addiction depression and suicidal.

[Amands]

Hello I would be greatful to hear how other parents of adult children living at home cope with supporting them .

After years of suicidal idiolatiion, after his first and recent suicide attempt the ED after 10 hours waiting sent him home after asking him are you feeling safe now the alcohol has worn off and yes sent him home. We returned 2 days later waited 13.5 hours in ED waiting room before seeing a Dr then MH person to be told there’s no point him staying in hospital as it’s the alcohol that’s the problem. 
long story short. It took 3 weeks to get a team in place no thanks to the hospital. He has re engaged with a psychiatrist , counsellor and psychologist. He literally fell through the system with the detox apts. I’m now advocating for him. 
How do you cope when they drink every night, demanding more than the agreed amount and the Valium and meds still aren’t enough for the anxiety.

dual treatment ( MH and addiction) is hard to find in the public system. I’m looking after myself. I have stopped work for a month as I cannot leave him on his own he’s not safe. I have family helping. Thank you for reading. 

[Sophie_M]

Hello Amands,

Thank you so much for sharing your story with our community, we can't imagine how scary this has all been for you. Seeing a child, no matter how old they are, struggle with their mental health can be so incredibly anxiety-inducing... we really empathise with how much this must be affecting you.

Though, it's great to hear that you are looking after yourself and have family to turn to. What other supports do you have around you right now? 

I am glad to hear he has also received some support, but I can see he is definitely needing more nurturing right now and that it's been hard to get the care he requires... you sound like you're doing a wonderful job advocating for him. What a beautiful parent you are. 🥰

I'm thinking that seeing as he already has some good supports lined up, it would be helpful to call the Turning Point AOD counselling service for more guidance and advice. He can also call them for support if he finds talking to loved ones too hard right now. Mensline are another wonderful option for 'in the moment' support and de-escalation: 

Counselling Online - free drug and alcohol counselling in Australia

Free help, referrals & counselling for men: MensLine Australia

It might be helpful to work on a safety plan together too, which you can explore here:  Beyond Now Safety Planning

It truly is so challenging to help another human, because we can't control what they do and how they react, but I think you are taking all the right steps to help him and see things change. It just might take a little bit of time for him to incorporate everything he is learning. We are always here for you to talk things out in the meantime, okay?

Looking forward to your reply, and hoping that these services and our community can help you even further. 💙

Warm regards, 
Sophie M. 

[Amands]

Dear Sophie

Thank you so much for your encouraging reply. Thank you for your confirmation I am doing all I know to do to support my son. 
The links are a great spoke to add to the wheel . 
For myself I have a Christian ministry for prayer support, I may seek a counselling service, I’m not sure . I’ve put what feels like my life on hold, not working, socialising, it’s certainly not fun. Trying to keep my thoughts captive and not let them run me into negativity or hopelessness. 
im going to take up walking when my son is asleep early in the morning to have me time . He won’t be alone in the house.  I did this this morning it was very therapeutic. 
Thank you for your advice and support,

MandyLou