Hi Soberlicious96
Sometimes I think 'Life would be so much easier if I had have conditioned these people better, to manage being more conscious and active'. While my kids and husband (for example) are somewhat conscious, they're not entirely conscious. Heck, I'm not entirely conscious but I'm determined to become that way. If only 'waking up' was a breeze. It's definitely not at times.
I suppose, as adults, we're usually more conscious based on 2 key factors. One involves have been conditioned to become that way with certain things and the other involves facing consequences. While my son and husband have been home all day and my daughter finished work early, they face having to prepare their own dinner because of all the dishes that weren't washed from yesterday which are covering the bench space where I would normally prepare dinner. Btw, if the dishes are still there tomorrow, I'm also not cooking tomorrow after I finish work. As you mention, when you're dealing with adults who should be more conscious, I figure my family facing consequences shouldn't be my problem. I have to then feel it as not being my problem. To think it's not a problem is one thing but to actually be able to emotionally detach and not feel it as my problem can be a whole other story. It's a tough one when you've become a more feeling person over time and then have to manage the volume dial or the on/off switch when it comes to feeling or sensing certain emotions. I've found a sense of guilt can definitely play a part at times.
Some time ago I came to realise that if I'm going to feel a sense of guilt I have to redefine what guilt actually is from a constructive point to view, so that what I'm feeling is constructive (not a form of suffering). I came to consider 'Guilt is asking me 'Who do you want to be?''. Guilt is like a signpost. When I feel a sense of guilt, I'm being asked to choose one of two paths. The right path (in my mind) will lead me to leave guilt/that signpost behind me while I move on with a sense of confidence. Who do I want to be? A teacher of consequences? Sure, why not?! Who do you want to be? Someone who hands back to people their responsibility for time management? Sure, why not?! I know, easier said than done. It can be hard to watch people suffer through consequences at times.
I believe 'because' to be a very powerful and revealing word. I think it can help us make sense of so much at times. I can recall when this revelation first came to me. I thought 'Seriously, it can't be that easy (to identify what's wrong at times)'. We can say 'I am so sick and tired of people asking ME to do stuff for THEM that they should be doing for themselves' or we can say 'I am so sick and tired because of people asking ME to do stuff for THEM that they should be doing for themselves'. We could say 'I'm sick and tired of tolerating that person's behaviour' or 'I'm sick and tired because of tolerating their behaviour'. In other words 'Their behaviour is leading me to become mentally and physically unwell and exhausted'. Unless we're going to physically vomit or collapse in a heap from pure exhaustion, how we're feeling and what we're feeling isn't going to appear all that obvious to anyone, including our self on occasion.
My heart goes out to you, as you long to go from a state of dis-ease into a state of ease. Ahh, the longing to have others ask 'How can I serve you?' can be enormous at times, that's for sure. If we can be truly shocked by such a considerate question, this can point to how rarely we hear it.❤️
