Privacy vs support

[vegemite]

Hello,
My partner of 8 months recently ended our relationship due to her severe depression. I am the only person in her life who is aware of the extent to which she is struggling (apart from her therapist), and thus I am wondering whether it would be a good idea to contact her sister to describe what has been going on. I am worried that in ending our relationship she has lost her one support person, and although I know that she would prefer to keep her depression private I also feel that perhaps it is my responsibility to ensure that someone in her life is able to monitor and take care of her.
She only sees her therapist once a week and does not seem really committed to it.

Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Thanks

[Tegan33]

Hi Vegemite,

[Tegan33]

Hi Vegemite,

Its a hard situation to be in!

My partner of 4 years was diagnosed with depression in February. I was in two minds like you as to whether i should tell his Mum (They are very close) or not.

We split up about 2 weeks ago as he feels he cannot commit to a relationship with the way his feeling. I decided to tell his Mum as he would no longer have me there to support him & make sure he got help.

Turns out she suffered from Depression a few years before and had so much advice and support and love to offer to him. He feels a lot better now he has someone close to him to speak to that knows exactly what he is going through. I am kicking myself i didnt tell her a lot earlier!

He isn't mad at all, but i dont know how your partner would feel if you tell her sister. Sometimes you just need to do what you feel is best to help them!

good luck 🙂

[AGrace]

Hi Vegemite,

I'm not sure if you're still in contact with your ex, how is she travelling? How are you coping with the relationship breakdown?

I have no doubt that a lot of people deal with this situation quite frequently, so I thought I'd refresh your post, and I also wanted to make a comment.

Firstly I wanted to ask is your ex close to her sister? I'm thinking if they are her sister can probably tell that something's up anyway. I think if it were me I would tell her sister, but perhaps ask her sister not to say anything, let her know that what you think is best is for to at least have someone looking out for your ex. 

I guess it's deciding what's more prevalent for your ex privacy or isolation. Privacy is fine but isolating because of her condition can be detrimental to recovery in the long run.

I'm glad Tegan has been able to share from her personal experience, I hope others who have been through this can add to your thread.

AGrace