How to help a parent..?

[Tish4991]

Hi everyone, after googling 'how to help a parent with depression' I stumbled upon this page. So I thought, why not give this a go!

I guess I'll start the speel now..

I have no idea what to do or how to help my mum with depression. My heart is breaking since she is the best person in my life and always helps me.. but now she needs my help and I have no idea how to even do it.

my mum is in her 50's. We lived together until I moved out early this year and now she lives alone. My parents split up years ago and are still good friends but he lives on the other side of the country. She has never found another person to be with since they split up over 10 years ago.

So when I moved out earlier this year, it meant that it's just her in the house. She is unemployed due to a hearing disability , she has tried to get work but no where hires her due to her hearing loss. She has hearing aids but is unable to use a work phone. Anyway... so she lives alone, doesn't work, so it at home all day every day... and is just on a very basic Centrelink payment so she has barely any money.

So now over the months she has gotten depression.

And this is where I am stuck. In previous times she has asked me for money etc but it takes a serious toll on our relationship.. so now that doesn't happen anymore but I know she needs the help but it's not like I have the money either.

How in the world can I help her when so many aspects of her life are down..? I have talked to multiple friends and googled answers so many times but I have no idea how to help her.

If anyone has been in this situation or has any ideas please please reply to this forum. I will give anything a go and would really like to talk to someone whom has been in this situation as no one I know has any idea how to deal with this situation.

thanks, tish

[kanga_brumby]

Welcome Tcan ish thanks for our great post, your friend could approach the Salvation army asking them if she can do volunteer work in one of there stores or if they have a Cafe salvo can she work there Also try your local citizens advice bureau they might have some places where she can do something also sometimes they can help financially as well

Kanga

[topsy_]

Hi Tish

I'm sorry you have this problem but I think it's lovely you are so concerned for your mum.

I was thinking perhaps you could take your mum on little outings once in awhile. You could pack a picnic lunch & go enjoy the sunshine for awhile. A change of scenery might help a little.

Wishing you both well, Topsy.

[Croix]

Dear Tish~

Like Kanga I'd like to welcome you here and hope you find at least some partial answers for your mum. It's not an uncommon problem for one parent to be left alone, and having little money plus a disability just makes it so much worse.

I guess the first thing to ask is if she is under treatment for depression. It's an illness I found I could not recover from without medical help. If she is reluctant or has difficulty getting to the doctor could you help here get there?

For most of us going to work is a large part of our lives. Not only the money, but structure in one's life, social interaction and very often interest and fulfillment.

If that is not available then Kangs's idea of voluntary work is still a pretty close fit, everything from assisting in a kitchen to sales in a thrift store. Approximately 36% of all Australians over 18 volunteer in some capacity, and are not limited to charities. Even such interesting organizations as museums use them.

For someone with the life skills you mum must have a mentoring position might be a possibility. The only stumbling block could be she needs assistance because of her hearing to simply find what is available (councils and libraries are a good start)

Even though it is a big change of lifestyle do you think your mum might be interested?

Croix

[Mathy]

Hi Trish and welcome.

It’s beautiful that you love your Mum to the extent that you would try and seek help/advice for her.

I can well see that basically going from being a Single Mum to unemployed Mum could cause some issues, especially as she has a hearing disability.

As she is unemployed and has a hearing disability, she should be able to access a Job Provider who specialises in job placements for people with a hearing disability. I suspect they would be amalgamated with a disability job provider, so that would be a first choice for trying to get her some better advocacy in the employment market (Dr. Google would be your best friend here)

If she might be interested in volunteering, which could lead to learning new skills, possible employment and making some new friends, then an organisation like Deaf Australia would be worth checking out - there would be branches in each state (Dr. Google again).

Has your Mum been to see a health professional about her depression? That’s important also. Not great trying to find employment when you’re not only hearing impaired but depressed as well - having a Doctor to back her could possibly take some of the Centrelink pressure off her until she can heal from the depression and get fully motivated again.

Hope this helps, cheers M 🙂