Brother not well, parents at wits end.

[Kingfisherblues]

Hello everyone ,

I am just wondering if anyone knows of any good services for the following situation.

My brother has been struggling for years now , he's in his mid twenties.

Alcoholism has been a major part of it , he doesn't have any friends anymore . He never went out , would always drink alone in his room and then lash out .

Hes also confused with gender identity to a degree but this seems to change alot.

He was diagnosed with clinical depression after certain circumstances.

I really think he is actually more borderline personality disorder. After researching it myself it just seems far too many likening to my brother.

He has been on anti depressants for a few years and they seem to do nothing.

My parents are completely at a lost cause with all of this, and I moved out because I just couldn't be around it anymore. But I still want to help.

Are their any services for this kind of thing in Melbourne? I'm really worried for him , he just keeps getting worse and then will convince mum and dad hell try better again. But I don't think he ever learns from his mistakes, he's almost a bit like a puppy in that way , he will do something incredibly hurtful to someone but I don't think he realises just how bad he's being.

I know because he's over 18 he will have to do this voluntary ? That's another issue in itself.

How bad does it have to get before a psych ward isnt out of the question?

My parents have always been very much 'just get over it's mentality so I think there struggling to come to terms with it all.

Anyway sorry for the long post.

Much love, and thank you

[blondguy]

Hello Kingfisherblue

Welcome to the forums and good on you for posting too!

Please dont apologise for the length of your caring post. Your brother as you know is in pain. Any mental illness will be compounded by parents who have the 'just get over it' mentality you mentioned. Can I ask you why your brother was prescribed anti-depressants? I have had acute anxiety since 1983 and depression since 1996 and have been on meds for 20 years. I do understand where you are coming from Kingfisher.

Years ago I had weekly counseling with a community health worker (psychiatric nurse) for six months. It gave me my life back. Does your brother get any regular counseling at all? and would he be willing to?

It is not uncommon for people to go to hospital to receive care if they are willing to help themselves, If a person refuses to acknowledge they have an illness can complicate getting treatment and their chances of recovery.

If he has become violent, self harming or having suicidal thoughts please make a call to the kind counselors on the Beyond Blue Support line 1300 22 4636 to check on the alternatives available.

He does appear to be in a very dark place Kingfisher. You have looked after your own health which is pro-active by moving out. I will have a friend post to you where gender identity is concerned.

I hope you can post back Kingfisher..there are many kind people that are here for you 🙂

My kindest thoughts for you and your brother

Paul

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey kingfisherblues,

Welcome to beyondblue and thanks for reaching out to us.

There are certainly lots of different services in Melbourne (emergency and long-term) but in order to answer your questions I'm wondering if you can let us know - whether or not he is currently seeing a GP and whether or not he is in contact with a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Certainly if he's not in contact with any of those I think that would be the first point of call.

I think it's probably a bit hard to answer those other questions at this point because it all depends on the person and their situation. There are 50 shades of grey when it comes to mental health and hospital admissions is one of them.

If you can let us know who he's in contact with then hopefully we can redirect you on to the right path- or at least provide a little more clarity.