Unsure what to do with my partner

Mich86 · ‎30-08-2016

Im currently struggling with my partner I feel he is a different person at the moment. I believe he is depressed and I'm just hoping to get some advice on how to handle it and how to get him the help he needs. He is currently working away doing 11 on 3 off and when he comes home is quite irritable and is lacking patience with me and the kids he is quite withdrawn etc. he came home on Thursday just gone and when we got to bed he started crying for a while which is not like him at all. He said he cant describe how he was feeling except he is sad said he doesnt know why but has been feeling like this for a few weeks he said that everything is too much at the moment. He very rarely shares his feelings and if something is wrong he doesn't know how to express it and generally won't talk about it so when I suggested depression he got quite annoyed with me. Im just hoping to get my partner back and maybe some tools so I can help him to get through this together and hopefully get him some professional help without him shitting down and thinking that nothing is actually wrong. I'm terribly sorry for rambling and hope this makes a a little sense 😊

white knight · ‎30-08-2016

Hi Mich, welcome

Such long days without family , missing his wife and kids. Then finally after 11 days he comes home. That would be quite emotional even without depression.

The word depression is toxic to some people. There us little you can do to make him get treatment.

Two things you can do. Fix any relationship issues you both might have. And ask him to look for more family friendly work.

Hope that helps

Tony WK

Fairywings · ‎31-08-2016

Hi there lovely and welcome. Yes i have to agree with Tony here such a long time to be away from the people you love. I would seriously consider finding a more suitable type of employment and just communicate with one another even if it is a little awkward to start with things will always sort themselves out somehow. I hope this helps xx please keep in touch with us Venessa

Airies · ‎31-08-2016

Hi Mitch,

makes perfect sense. WorkLife balance is a big thing. Have worked 7 on 7 off 12 hour shifts and 9 on 5 off. And if I did overtime saw even less of the family. So I transferred closer to home.Sounds like he needs a break from the coal mines and find out what's at the core of the problem. It's important to keep on communicating to each other. Together, and with some professional help ie GP.. You can begin to make some headway.

all the best Len

Mich86 · ‎04-09-2016

Thank you Tony! I am ashamed to say I didn't even think about the emotions he would be feelin coming home to his family. I think because he always puts on a front like nothing is affecting him I just assumed he was fine. I have spoken to him over the phone and suggested talking to someone professional when he is ready but he wasn't too keen because he said he doesn't know what's wrong so he wouldn't have anything to talk about. I just let him know that when ever he is ready but for now I'm here to listen if he wants. He is a tradie and work in our town at the moment is non existent. So for the time being its working away. I'm working on my self esteem issues which impacts our relationship so I can be the best I can be for his and our families sake. It's just nice to know there is people like you and the others that commented with great advice 😊