The nights are the worst.

[Pandemica]

I find that the hardest time of all are the evenings. I live alone and the house is so quiet. I lay awake each night, not being able to sleep and the darkness outside my bedroom window matches the darkness inside of me.

Its at these times that the sadness feels so powerful and overwhelming. I can feel it sitting inside of my stomach like a heavy rock. I have lived a majority of my life like this and can't see any way to stop feeling like this.

What are some strategies that people might use when both your thoughts and feelings are at their darkest.

[Pandemica]

Thanks Grandy,

I like you also have awful trouble falling asleep. I have tried the sleep stories, Mindfulness and like you, sometimes they work and sometimes not. The last few nights I have also been trying out Yoga Nidra meditations (you can find them on YouTube) so far they seem to be working for me.

[Guest_1643]

Hi pandemica, take care and judt saying hi to u

With you in spirit

[Pandemica]

Thanks Sleepy21,

I am really lucky that I am working late for the next 5 days. Once I finish work, I only need to get through 1 hour of cravings before the bottle shop closes then it will be impossible for me to drink and I will have won the battle for today. That is.. until Tomorrow.

[Sophie_M]

Hey pandemica,
Thanks for reaching out tonight,

We can hear your cravings for alcohol are overwhelming at the moment, but we can also hear you’re trying your best to manage these urges. Please know that you don’t have to do this alone if you don’t want to, there are support options available if you need help managing these cravings.

If you feel comfortable you might like to speak with a Family Drug Support (FDS) counsellor, they can work with you to create a plan and put some support options in place to help you. The Family Drug Support service can be contacted on 1300 368 186 (available 24/7) and provides support and information to families, friends and carers of people who have problematic alcohol and other drug use across Australia.

Please do keep us updated here on the forums and let us know how you’re managing,
 

[Pandemica]

Thankyou Sophie,

I really found the counciling online page to be very helpful. I will also try out the Family Drug support service when I feel ready.

Meanwhile I have won today's battle, work just pleaded with me to stay back and do an OT so I will now be working through to tomorrow morning. Another 18hour shift. No chance of Drinking tonight that's for sure.

[Pandemica]

I am thinking that I might not be far off a hospital admission. Between needing to stop using Alcohol and constant harmful thoughts, I have researched a few hospitals that I think might be able to help me.

My question is, when do you know its time? For me it will be a big deal as I will likely need to take a significant amount of time off work.

I just need to stop feeling like this and my last and only hope is that an inpatient admission might be able to help me.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Pandemica,

This is such a brave and important post, and I have every faith that our Community Champions and your peers here on the Forum will want to rach out very soon. 

We want to encourage you to back yourself in this moment, and so - from our perspective - if you already have done this research (which we are so proud of you for!) and if you are asking this question then its a pretty big hint that it is time! We hope this decision will lead to a long stretch of feeling safe, feeling cared for, feeling heard and most of all supported. This is one of those moments that truly leads to a long and healthy future and that is our hope for you!

Thank you for having the courage to ask such an important question here - I have no doubt many others in our community have had to arrive at this sort of 'crunch' moment, and the answers we come up with together might help a LOT of people. 

Reach out to us at anytime if we can help you in this important decision making, Pandemica, and thank you again for your bravery.

Regards,

Sophie M

[Guest_1643]

Hi pandemics,

My feelings about being hospitalised are hard to discuss here.

I think if ppl close to u are suggesting it, that can be a good indicator, friends and family are my go to

As my best friend always says, u can always leave.

I know many can't leave, but if ur voluntary, it can be flexible

For all the skills support and connections, although it can occasionally be a bad stay and even am awful stay, I still thi nm at times, hospital is the safest place. Sending a hug

[Petal22]

Hi Pandemica,

I think it’s great that you have done research in regards to hospitals that can help you.

Have you been able to speak to anyone at the hospitals for their advice?

I wish you all the best for your road ahead.

[Pandemica]

I haven't spoken to anyone from the hospitals that I have chosen. I just want all this pain to end.