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The nights are the worst.

Community Member

I find that the hardest time of all are the evenings. I live alone and the house is so quiet. I lay awake each night, not being able to sleep and the darkness outside my bedroom window matches the darkness inside of me.

Its at these times that the sadness feels so powerful and overwhelming. I can feel it sitting inside of my stomach like a heavy rock. I have lived a majority of my life like this and can't see any way to stop feeling like this.

What are some strategies that people might use when both your thoughts and feelings are at their darkest.

53 Replies 53

Community Champion
Community Champion

I understand Pandemica..

I understand it’s very distressing dealing with horrible intrusive thoughts constantly…… it’s unrelenting…

I just thought maybe if you spoke to the hospitals they could give you an idea of when it’s a good time to be admitted.

Im here if you want to chat

Hi pandemica

It can take a few weeks to get in, but once in I find they help a lot

Can u put urself on their lists and get a referral...and if a bed comes available u can always say no

The system, or systems overall, don't care too much about us, so we need to cover ourselves...if u can get a bed u can turn it down if u decide otherwise

Re research u can also call the hospital and speak to someone...see if they seem nice...see if u feel they care..

Community Member

Yes, the nights are the worst. I have beaten an eating disorder only ti inherit a drinking problem. I just wish that I could relax into the situation that I am in.


Tried drive to the Gap today to look and take in the scenery. Unfortunately the rain was too heavy and I decided to return home. It was just too hard to drive. Hopefully I will be able to go to the Gap tomorrow without such awful weather.

Community Member
Can I please just say A MASSIVE THANKYOU to beyond Blue! Such an amazing service. I received a phone call tonight from one of the team and I feel totally different after the call. I have really been at risk of late and feel that Beyond Blue has helped so so much. I am safe right now thankyou to beyond Blue for keeping me safe!

I have never tried group therapy but I reckon I would like to try it

Hey Pandemica,

Thank you for your lovely message last night. It means a lot to us that we were able to help you in a really difficult moment. 

We are reaching out to you privately today, and we're glad you could share an update with us here this morning. If you'd like to reach out more directly, you are welcome to call us on 1300 22 4636 or reach us on webchat. We also recommend our amazing friends over at Lifeline, on 13 11 14, or online here. If you're unsafe or unable to avoid acting on throughts of self-harm or suicide, please call 000

It's good to hear you're thinking about group therapy. Our friends over at Black Dog have a directory of support groups for mental health by state, here.

Thanks again for reaching out, Pandemica. Please keep sharing whenever you feel comfortable to do so. Hopefully the community will spot your post and offer their support soon.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Pandemica,

Id like to second Sophie M s post and say thank you for your beautiful message ❤️ I’m so glad that we have been able to help you.

Yes I highly recommend group therapy, before I started my group therapy I was a little apprehensive but once I started it I soon realised that It was going to be life changing for me.

I found that being in group therapy, I felt less alone I wasn’t the only one with the condition I had…. there were many others and the therapy we were all doing together was to reach the same goal.

The therapy I did really changed my life because it taught me so many things, it gave me many tools and skills these tools and skills I learned I use every day in my life not only for the condition I had but for every day things…..

It really opened my mind and I realised that just because I held certain perceptions and beliefs in that moment that didn’t mean they had to stay that way… I could challenge them and change them.

I have a whole new out look on life after doing my therapy.

Congratulations on beating a eating disorder I understand that would have taken a lot of courage and perseverance.

I understand you now have a drinking problem but do you know what you can overcome this too.

Sometimes in life we are given challenges I believe, and it’s when we are in the thick of those challenges we begin to really grow within ourselves and fly.

You are a strong resilient person Pandemica and I believe with the correct help you will overcome these challenges and not only fly but soar like an eagle.

Here to chat

Community Member

Well after a really turbulent few weeks I have finally started to take some positive steps. I went to my first AA meeting, and most importantly I got a referral for an inpatient admission. I rang the hospital this afternoon and they have accepted me. Looks like I will be going in on 4th April. It seems strange but just having done these two things has lifted my mood a little, now I feel that there is actually some hope for the future and that I may potentially get relief from this horrible illness rather than seeing my situation as being absolutely hopeless.

Hi Pandemica!

Just a quick word from myself and the team here to say that we are extremely pleased with this news, and you have every right to be very proud of yourself. Starting the next steps on any journey can genuinely be a bit of a mood lift, we are excited to here that you are getting exactly that benefit!

Keep moving towards the hope! Well Done!


Sophie M

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Pandemica,

I just wanted to say congratulations! This is wonderful news.

You are moving forward with such courageous steps………

Your on your journey and it’s a journey that will take you to places and outcomes that can’t be explained……..

I know that your going to be strong enough to come out the other side of the tunnel a newer stronger version of your self.

Hold onto your hope because it’s hope that will keep you moving forward. ❤️

I wish you all the best….. we are always here and we’d love to hear of your progress.