Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Appreciate_you_being_roun Straddling The Line
  • replies: 3

I’m a 35 year old female. Single mum. Employed in a high pressure corporate job. Responsible for a large team of high performing individuals. I feel like I am currently straddling the line between being here and not. I’ve suffered with depression sin... View more

I’m a 35 year old female. Single mum. Employed in a high pressure corporate job. Responsible for a large team of high performing individuals. I feel like I am currently straddling the line between being here and not. I’ve suffered with depression since I was 13. This time around I have been on medication for about 10 years - most times the highest dose allowed for my medication. I have a history of entering relationships with narcissistic men. I’ve recently discovered that this happens because I feel so alone and worthless, that the love bombing is like a drug that suddenly makes everything feel better. my first relationship with a narcissist started when I was 19 and I left 8 years later, when my daughter was 8 months. The first time he laid hands on me was 6 months in.The violence over the years continued and became normalised. The only reason I left was because the police said they would take my baby away. I was so indoctrinated. When I left I was suicidal. I self harmed a lot instead. But, I got better. Became incredibly successful at work. Had a few short relationships before deciding I needed to be alone. I was alone for 10 years. No dates. Nothing. Then I decided one day I wanted to be in A relationship. I found a man who I thought was the one. Things moved quickly. He gave me so much attention. Told me he loved me after a month. Started talking about marriage and babies - everything I needed to hear. I didn’t know what live bombing was at this stage. After 3 months I started to let my walls down. Things flourished for a bit longer before he realised he had won. He convinced me to come off my medication to improve our sex life. So I did. Within a week I was a mess. I felt crazy. Crying constantly. Jealous.

Leeena Heavy
  • replies: 5

Hello, My names Lena. I am new to this forum. I am here because my mind continues to take me to suicidal thoughts. I haven't been here in over 10 years and its heavy. I see so much evil in the world and in my country with little to no compassion and ... View more

Hello, My names Lena. I am new to this forum. I am here because my mind continues to take me to suicidal thoughts. I haven't been here in over 10 years and its heavy. I see so much evil in the world and in my country with little to no compassion and its beating me down, its heavy.

Jimbob1 Why does everyone hate me?
  • replies: 2

A bit of backstory I’m a 20 yr old male and I just feel like the community around can’t stand the mere sight of me and it’s genuinely upsetting and I just want to know why…. A few years ago in my last yr of school i was racially abused for being able... View more

A bit of backstory I’m a 20 yr old male and I just feel like the community around can’t stand the mere sight of me and it’s genuinely upsetting and I just want to know why…. A few years ago in my last yr of school i was racially abused for being able to grow a beard, I was called a terrorist and names like that & of course got suspended when I reacted. But anyway further down from that I started going on the dating apps because every girl around me just looked like they wanted to spit on me or that’s how they looked anyway but I met a few of them & they just used me for practice, I was treated like a unwanted pet everytime I’d go out with a woman and that woukd make me suicidal. There was another girl online that purposely lead me on just for leading on just for fun. She said so herself and that made me feel even worse to the point where I felt like it was me against everyone else. My so called friends were no help either, they just laughed. Now a days it’s still the same story & the same scenarios happening and I’ve had enough. I want to know why the whole community hate me and want me dead. No person deserves to be constantly ridiculed & abused like I have over the years and I’m only just in my 20s now. What’s the motivation to go on??

OPninja Suicidal thoughts from medical condition and work
  • replies: 1

I'v Had major depression for a long time 10+ years. I've had Aquagenic pruritus for 5 plus years. thats when your skin gets wet it feels like bindies stinging you on your arms legs and chest. Up until recently I've only really had t after showers. Bu... View more

I'v Had major depression for a long time 10+ years. I've had Aquagenic pruritus for 5 plus years. thats when your skin gets wet it feels like bindies stinging you on your arms legs and chest. Up until recently I've only really had t after showers. But now its happening at work. 8 Hours of intense pain mixed with my depression is killing me. I cant handle it anymore. Should I just leave my job and look for some office job where I wont sweat? I'm not sure what center link will say about it and I'm stressing out.

Tim_31 New to this forum struggling with Anxiety and depression leading to suicidal thoughts
  • replies: 4

Hi, Over the last 3 months I've a been dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety relating to my family business and that we are financially struggling. Its has brought on severe suicidal thoughts, to the point of almost attempting. I have dealt wi... View more

Hi, Over the last 3 months I've a been dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety relating to my family business and that we are financially struggling. Its has brought on severe suicidal thoughts, to the point of almost attempting. I have dealt with anxiety in the past. I even took another job briefly to reduced wage pressure. That other job wasn't for me, so I'm currently back with the family business. I find performing even the simplest of tasks hard and try to avoid, which only makes the situation worse. I've had other job offers, but i cant get past the fact that i will hate the job and not be able to perform them, also choosing the which one to take seems near impossible. I have seen a psychologist previously which helped a little. I'm booked in to see again, but wasn't real confident in their ability to help. It seems really hard to find a good one that is available at the moment.

Petal22 Suicidal Thoughts
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, I wanted to start this thread in hope that it helps someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts. When I went through my mental health journey I suffered with severe anxiety OCD with this anxiety disorder it was also accompanied with ve... View more

Hi everyone, I wanted to start this thread in hope that it helps someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts. When I went through my mental health journey I suffered with severe anxiety OCD with this anxiety disorder it was also accompanied with very dark intrusive thoughts, these thoughts really scared me. The thoughts increased my anxiety, every time they would pop into my mind I could feel my anxiety peak….. Why was I having these thoughts? I had a great life but my mind would keep playing these horrible dark intrusive thoughts they were on repeat.. it was very overwhelming the emotions I felt during this time were very intense. I knew I needed help I was in distress and I couldn’t navigate these thoughts on my own. I made an appointment with my gp, while discussing what I was going through I was advised that these dark intrusive thoughts sometimes accompany anxiety and depression. At the time of visiting my gp I didn’t know the full extent of my anxiety…. I have now received treatment from health professionals for what I was experiencing and these dark intrusive thoughts have now lifted for me. I have now recovered. I just want people to know to please don’t suffer in silence, talk about your thoughts… it’s nothing to be ashamed of… please seek help through your gp or call Beyond Blue and speak to a trained councillor: 1300 22 4636 you don’t have to go through this alone. There are people who want to help you and they understand. Suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse. Suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better. Please seek help, life on the other side of these conditions can be amazing.

Will_it_ever_happen Is life just an on/off switch
  • replies: 5

Hey guys. Not sure where to start really. I've got an amazing little 18 month old boy and a good wife. So these thoughs are weird. Lately we've been arguing a fair bit about stupid stuff mainly. Me being In a bad mood and not happy at the moment. Whi... View more

Hey guys. Not sure where to start really. I've got an amazing little 18 month old boy and a good wife. So these thoughs are weird. Lately we've been arguing a fair bit about stupid stuff mainly. Me being In a bad mood and not happy at the moment. Which I should be. Got a good job doing 2n2 easy roster nice house should be happy right. In the past I've had a few mate take there own life and it has me thinking what if there's a switch in my head same as my friends that flicks when the pressure is too much and I do something stupid. All my past friends had good life's pretty much like me but something changed and they took there own life.. We argue and sometimes I just think fu$% it. I don't need this and revert back to thinking is there a switch that when I cant take any more it will flick and no stopping me doing something.

SteveAnon The Covert Narcissist is the weak one!!
  • replies: 12

I have lived through many years of being around a Covert Narcissist. They nourish the vulnerable (including our OLD selves) with their Narcissistic supply. They control their environment with "stress-driving motivational compliance". Stress is crippl... View more

I have lived through many years of being around a Covert Narcissist. They nourish the vulnerable (including our OLD selves) with their Narcissistic supply. They control their environment with "stress-driving motivational compliance". Stress is crippling, its incredibly unpleasant, both mentally and physically. When they have you, they can reach you wherever and whenever they want.. Just a text! It can bend you like Darth Vader's evil use of the force. If you want to understand the full psychologically horror of trying to live with/in a dominance hierarchy of a covert narcissist, watch Ex Machina. "Eve" has most hallmarks - manipulative, intelligent, beautiful, powerful, mirroring, uncanny valley/not human. For 95% of the film she's the victim (literally imprisoned) but the last 5min you discover her core is evil. She's not only been using you the whole time , but leaves you for dead with effortless cruelty. You're exhausted after watching this film, it's non-stop paranoia and anxiety. And she never directly agrees' the victim! I understand its childhood abuse mental torture - like holding someones head under water..to effect obedience, sick security. A 'false self' is built shielding a fragile, cowering 'true self' core. Decades this early split diverges a highly functional, immaculately crafted public shell which is rewarded by much of what is broken in society. A commensurately tormented 'suffering soul' festers at the core, like the stench of rotten fish. The psychopath is banished to scour the barren plains of the psyche for the entirety of their existence, their soul like a snarling wolf, addicted to perpetually predating on the weak. Feeding insatiably on the vulnerability and emotional destruction of the innocent lives they can manage to trap around them (Because emotional AB-use literally means it's them that cant function at the rest of us normal humans need to) They abuse their power to 'twist the fabric of reality', suppress/never deal with hard problems. They can afford to live an avoidance of hard truths and so damn themselves, subconsciously to live and act out their delusion to perpetuity. My God, Don't go near them and don't agrees them. They are like Chernobyl. Forever Toxic, damaging anyone who goes near them, spewing their insidiously harmful radiation that's entirely invisible - no direct attacks, no evidence, no recourse Be kind to yourself, come rejoin society, rebuild your being with 'real' humans. We want you not them!

Aimee_S Tierd of fighting
  • replies: 13

So, I have been self harming for 8 years after my sister took her own life. I was harming myself almost daily and have recently gone 7 months and then 4 months without. I have been working so hard to use alternative strategies, becoming more aware of... View more

So, I have been self harming for 8 years after my sister took her own life. I was harming myself almost daily and have recently gone 7 months and then 4 months without. I have been working so hard to use alternative strategies, becoming more aware of my triggers etc. I am also actively in a DBT group. In May I needed surgery due to my self-harm. I am in the same situation after my relapse last Monday. I am so tired of fighting the plastics dr's don't want to operate on me because I did it too myself again. They don't see the intense effort I am putting into my recovery and how disappointed I am in myself for relapsing and to the extent I did. Has anyone else had similar experiences? How did you deal with this and keep going when it feels like those who are supposed to help don't?

hazgyak Tired.
  • replies: 3

hello. this is my first time on beyond blue. there's no pressure to read this but i feel like i need to put my thoughts into words. i have struggled with suicidal thoughts since i was eleven, i sometimes self harm but i feel like my family will blame... View more

hello. this is my first time on beyond blue. there's no pressure to read this but i feel like i need to put my thoughts into words. i have struggled with suicidal thoughts since i was eleven, i sometimes self harm but i feel like my family will blame themselves if i pass. i have been playing soccer for ten years and initially it made me really happy and was my escape from my thoughts; now it is the reason for them. i am on the trajectory to becoming an established soccer player (i have played for my country and state) but i really don't want to do it anymore. i have expressed to my parents how i don't wish to continue playing but i am constantly tossing it up. my parents have paid for my soccer fees for next year which is $2000 and i feel terrible because i dont want to waste all their money and hard work ($2000 takes months to earn in my family). i dont know why i switch my decision so much. thank you for reading this