Struggling to get help

[Doolhof]

I know this is a place where we are supposed to encourage and support each other, to offer suggestions of where help may be received and to try to be positive in our experiences of reaching out for mental health guidance and care.

Unfortunately that has not been my experience for a long time living in the country.

My GP kept telling me he would make an appointment with me to do a mental health care plan. That took about 6 months. At an appointment I basically told him I needed help, could he please do the plan that day and not make me wait another 4 weeks for a next appointment.

The psychologist he recommended sent me an email stating with the information the Dr had written in the referral she was unable to assist me. She had not even met me!

Wait another 4 weeks for another Drs appointment.  A new psychologist was recommended, I had to drive to the city for this one. Had to wait a couple of months for an appointment. My appointment was to be on Thursday this week. Received an email from the psychologist stating "due to changes in his circumstances he is no longer able to offer me sessions".

I go to the local hospital and am told "the Doctors are too busy seeing more important patients to be able to see you".  The Nurse/Sister actually stated that to me over and over.

Looks like me and my sick mind are just going to have to keep trying to support myself until it doesn't work any longer.

[quirkywords]

I have been volunteering for several years Dools, and the process to get started was only hard due to covid. volunteering can have lots of politics and rules and can be stressful. I really like it but so e days it is exhausting.

Dools your honesty is helping others here 2ho are struggling. Thanks.

[Doolhof]

Hi All,

Thanks for your comments. I do realise there are rules and protocols to go through when volunteering and it takes time for those processes to happen. I'm just frustrated the lady told me it would take a couple of weeks at the interview and now she is telling me it will be a couple of months.

I'm not coping well with being home 5 days a week. I am not used to doing nothing. I am having trouble being motivated. My mental health is not good.

[Doolhof]

Hi Summer Rose,

I am confused with police checks. Why isn't there one to cover everything? I have the children's, vulnerable persons, disability, and another I have forgotten but they want an aged care one and I won't be any where near aged people. I just don't get it.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Dools

I think before any organisation onboards a new person they need to vet them for safety reasons. I don’t believe there is any way to circumvent the process. Like you, I was frustrated, I really do get it. But if you hang in there, your start date will become something to really look forward to.

My feeling is that right now you need to get out of the house each day and try to keep busier.

Couple of ideas for activities you could consider …

Visit your local library once a week. You can read there and be amongst people. You can learn about almost anything that could even lead to a new hobby. For example, take out a cooking book and try some new recipes or have a go at tracing your family history.

Perhaps you could find a local place that might be nice to relax and watch and feed the birds. That may sound strange but some people really enjoy it. 

If you like animals, you could even consider a pet. My dog is my best friend, a source of constant company and unconditional love. And she keeps me busy caring for her and gives me a reason to walk daily. 

Check out your community centre for events or even a short course you might like to take. 

Make a goal of calling one friend or family member a week to have a chat. See if you can organise a few catch-ups. 

Walk each day.

If you like to write, check out The Letterbox Project. It’s a national initiative to match people with others seeking a pen pal. A great way to both receive and offer connection through hand written letters. 
Happy to brainstorm more ideas with you.

Kind thoughts to you

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Dools

With your love of walking I wonder if there’s a local walking group in your area? There is one in my town. I just haven’t gotten around to giving it a try yet. You may like walking on your own, but just wondered if going on a walk with others from time to time may lift your spirits? For me it would be a good way to meet more other locals. I just thought it may do that for you. It’s amazing how human contact, even for an hour or two, can be uplifting and shift how you feel.

 I don’t know where you’d find out about one but maybe in a local town newsletter, a community resource centre or on a notice board.

 I hope you are feeling better over the weekend. Best wishes, ER

[Summer Rose]

Hi Dools

I just want to pop in and mention that you can find local groups or start a local group—for things like walking groups as per Eagle Ray’s excellent suggestion—on your town’s Facebook page. That of course assumes your town has a Facebook page and you know how to access it. If this is a challenge, someone at your library could possibly help you find out if one exists.

I have a home in a small coastal community and our Facebook page is really active. A new town arrival even posted she was looking to meet people and booked a table at the local pub and invited others in a similar situation to join her. Twelve people attended and they had a great time! Another person recently posted seeking to start a Scrabble club, which would meet at a local cafe to play. Don’t yet know how that one worked out, but I thought it was a great idea.

I hope this helps.

Kind thoughts to you

[Doolhof]

Hi Summer Rose,

Yes, there is  Facebook Page for our town. The region near us has one as well. Our town is very small and has limited options for places to catch up, but I do see the possibilities may be there. Our hotel offers toasted sandwiches and frozen pizzas heated up for meal options. 

There is a new cafe in town and I had thought about asking if they would be interested in hosting a chat/craft group. I know a bakery 30 kilometres away has a group that go there to knit and chat once a fortnight. Our cafe often puts out messages on Facebook stating they are going to close for the day. They seem a bit hit and miss regarding opening days and times. Nothing regular.

I do join a group of ladies for a chat and craft once a fortnight. I go walking with my sister almost every week. I visit my Mum for a day once a fortnight.

There is a group I am going to make enquiries about soon. I have family staying here most of this week.

I could see if someone locals wants to go walking once a week through Facebook.

Thanks for the suggestions.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Dools

Enjoy your family visit and you’re welcome!

Kind thoughts to you 

[Doolhof]

Hi Summer Rose and Eagle Ray,

I really do appreciate your ideas and suggestions. I know there is a lot more I can do to help myself, I need to deal with my thoughts and fears about rejection and not being good enough! 

Procrastination and lack of motivation don't help. 

You have provided me with a varied and interesting choice of options to consider. 

We do have a little park here in town about the size of 4 netball courts with a pond that currently has water. It is very picturesque with gum trees just beyond the park. I like to sit there sometimes with a coffee and a book. It is a calming place with the water.

Hope all reading have a calm and peaceful day, cheers from Dools

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Dools

I relate to the fear of rejection and fear of not being good enough. Last week in my volunteer job I became convinced I’d done something wrong (which I hadn’t) and that my main supervisory person was unhappy with me (which she wasn’t). In my case it stems from being repeatedly blamed as a child for things I hadn’t done, thus feeling guilty over nothing. Although much better with these things now, on a vulnerable day I can fall right back into that pattern on a kind of autopilot. Today my main supervisory person was really kind and friendly and not unhappy with me at all. I think they are actually very happy with my work there.

So I just wanted to share that so you know you are not alone in having those feelings and to know that so often people are approving and supportive when we don’t realise. Also, last week was hectic and what seemed like disapproval to me could have been stress, tiredness or any number of things for the other person, or entirely a projection from my own inner state. I kind of have to self-parent to remind myself everything is ok and I’m doing a good job.

I love the idea of having a coffee and reading a book in the little park. Reading in such settings can be so lovely.

 I hope you have had a lovely calm and peaceful day today. The weather was beautiful here. Best wishes, ER