Recovery from suicide attempt

[Junior1962]

Hello. 
I’m wondering if there are others like me who are well educated (post grad in psychology) and strong who have plumbed the depths that I did a few months ago.
We know that mental illness doesn’t discriminate and I am a depressive. In fact, I’ve come to understand that since other family members have bipolar, I have some of those genes in me. I’m trying a mood stabiliser as I’ve had too many issues with antidepressants. 
For the record, it wasn’t depression that made me do it. It was caregiver burnout. I was exhausted on many levels. 

[Petal22]

Hi Junior1962,

Im sorry for what you went through.

You are correct that mental health doesn’t discriminate it really doesn’t matter who we are or high educated we are it can develop in anyone, no one is superior to it.

BUT the main thing we all need to do when it strikes is to seek help.

Sometimes we can feel ourselves slipping in the moment and not realise what’s happening to us but it’s in those moments that we need to seek help.

I have a lived experience of severe anxiety OCD this condition hit me from left field and it was the most debilitating thing I have ever been through…. The second time that it hit me was the hardest… it was this time that I really needed all of the professional help I could get and I took it with both hands…….. after time it lead to my recovery.

I understand that previous family members of yours have bipolar have you ever thought about having a diagnosis?

Im sorry you experienced care giver burn out….. do you now have systems in place for your self if you feel yourself slipping?

You could practice self care especially when you feel yourself becoming tired it’s good to step back sometimes and look after yourself.

[Junior1962]

Thank you for your kind words. 
I’m not bipolar. I’ve had no signs of hypomania. It’s just that my mother and my son have it, so it’s come via me. I had this conversation with a very good psychiatrist a few weeks ago. Apparently people like me sometimes respond better to mood stabilisers. 
The Caregiver Burnout thing was something that just crept up on me. I’ve been a carer for over 30 years as my son has autism, ID and bipolar II. I’m well aware of the importance of taking time out and looking after myself. But last year we had extraordinary circumstances with Mum becoming severely unwell and a hospital admission, while trying to get a diagnosis on Dad, which my brother eventually did - Alzheimer’s. They are both now in aged care, thank goodness - and I’m in therapy. 

[Petal22]

That’s ok Junior1962,

Ohh I hope that your son is managing his bipolar and I understand that you don’t have it.

I hope your mood stabilisers are helpful for you.

I’m sorry that your Mum and Dad are unwell but having them in a home will help you also in your recovery.

I understand being a care giver to your son, mum and Dad would feel exhausting at times for you.

Its sad to have to watch our parents go through these things.

I hope your therapy is going well.

[Junior1962]

Thanks again for your kind words. 
My son is transitioning into supported accommodation so I now have to deal with the loss of a significant role. His bipolar is reasonably under control so he will be ok. He wants to do this. We’ve been working towards it for a few years now - with speech therapy, OT and in-home carer support. 
I was just interested to know what others with a tertiary education do when they get to the point I did. I’m not content with just being involved in community activities. I need to use my brain and do something more

[Petal22]

Hi Junior 1962,

Thats ok 😊

Thats a huge accomplishment for your son to move into supported accommodation and for your self it shows how much of a positive influence you have on him to display such confidence.

I understand that with the education you have it would be hard to just stop because your mind still wants to work.

How are you feeling in your recovery? 

Do you feel as though you are ready to move into a job role one that enables you to use your brain?

[Junior1962]

I’m doing well. I wrote a piece about it all that I’ve given to my GP and my psychologist. I then extended on it to make it book length. I might try and get it published a bit later on. It was very therapeutic writing it. 
With my son away from home at weekends I’m getting a lot more rest - which I needed mentally and emotionally - and things are definitely getting better. The suicidal thoughts are long gone and even when I have a rough day, I don’t know, I just don’t feel like that anymore. 
Work wise - I’m too old. Nearly 60. And I can’t register as a counsellor - even with my qualifications. Go figure. 
I was reading out general burnout the other day and it says it takes at least a year to recover. I was once bullied in the workforce and it took a year to get over that, so I guess this will be the same. That made me feel better. 

[Petal22]

I'm glad that you are doing well junior1962 😊

I think that it's amazing that you wrote a piece about your journey I believe that from doing this it can also be a healing journey aswell.

All the best in publishing it.

I understand that now that you have more time to yourself that you will be getting more rest and I'm sure this will ne helping you mentally and emotionally.

I'm sure that you would have great qualities still in you to be a counselor, it doesn't matter our age we have so much lived experience that we can help so many.

You have remarkable qualifications and lived experience, I think it's crazy that just because you have reached a certain age that you cant register on a councilor.

Have you ever thought about volunteer work? You could do this in the mental health field if it's something your interested in doing.

I am a volunteer for Beyond Blue and it's one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever done. 

With my mental health journey I was able to come through the other side of the tunnel and from this I felt I developed a passion and a purpose to help others who are experiencing mental health conditions.

I'm sorry you where bullied in the workforce, I believe people really need educating, it's really not that hard to be kind and show understanding to people.

Sometimes it does take a while to reach recovery and everyone is different in the way that they process and heal from things in life but as you have also shown that recovery is very possible. 

[Junior1962]

Yeah the not being able to register as a counsellor is really frustrating. They say it’s because I don’t have a specific counselling qualification. Apparently a PG Dip I’m psychology- including electives in counselling - is seen as not counselling. What do they think most psychologists do? Counselling and therapy. I’d be happy to leave the therapy to someone more qualified and just do counselling. And at 60 I’m not doing any more study. So that’s that. 
yes I have thought of becoming a volunteer speaker. They tell me it’s too early though so I’ll see how I feel in a few months. Is that what you are doing?

[Petal22]

Hi Junior 1962,

Im not a volunteer speaker but I’m a volunteer here on this wonderful forum .😊

Stay positive and keep trying to pursue what you really want to do.

I had a knowing that I really wanted to help people who where going through mental health conditions I wanted to be the hope for others who where trying to find their way out of the depths in the dark.

I was lead here to this wonderful community and I have never looked back 😊