Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Mumma_ST Desperate for Psychiatrist assistance
  • replies: 5

I am the mother of a 16 year old who has been suffering with anxiety, self harm and an ED over the last 2 years with excalating seriousness. Her care team consists of our GP, Paedatrition, Psychologist and a Dietatian. On Sunday my daughter ended up ... View more

I am the mother of a 16 year old who has been suffering with anxiety, self harm and an ED over the last 2 years with excalating seriousness. Her care team consists of our GP, Paedatrition, Psychologist and a Dietatian. On Sunday my daughter ended up in the emergency room where it was confirmed there was a limited amount of damage to her liver. The toxocologist advised we needed to step up her care to include a psychiatrist immediately. This was supported by her psychologist and GP. Since this time I have approached every possible clinic and youth psychiatrist I can find. I have exhausted the lists provided by our GP, the hospital, recommendations and online searching. The responses range from 'books are closed', 'doesn't see youth', 'out of serviced region' or no response at all. I have even had the response "if it gets worse then call the crisis line. I am feeling so desperate and without hope of finding the right specialist to assist my daughter. How is it we can get to the point in our society where we don't have specialists available to assist a suicidal teenager? Recent years have seen changes that now require adult administration of medications prescribed by a psychiatrist rather than GP's rather than stretching our specialist resources so thin they can no longer help the most in need? My ask of this group is twofold. 1) Does anyone have any tips or advice on how I can find a psychiatrist that could work with a 16 year old with the above conditions? 2) How do we work together as a community to convince the governing bodies that the current system is so heartbreakingly broken and there is a desperate need to review processes, policies and requirements required of these specialists - to free up their time to see the most in need.

River92 How to process and deal with a recent suicide attempt
  • replies: 4

Hi Everyone, I am struggling to find ways to therapeutically process a recent suicide attempt. I am trying to remain upbeat and positive about the whole situation, however, I have found that my emotions are fluctuating a great deal at the moment. I u... View more

Hi Everyone, I am struggling to find ways to therapeutically process a recent suicide attempt. I am trying to remain upbeat and positive about the whole situation, however, I have found that my emotions are fluctuating a great deal at the moment. I understand that I am still in the infancy stages of my recovery (the attempt was made very recently). I am someone who generally moves at a very fast pace - the whole idea of taking things slow and being kind to myself is a new but challenging experience. If anyone has been in a similar situation before i'd love to get your thoughts on what I should be doing over the coming weeks to aid my recovery.

AngusR Failed my first class at Tafe
  • replies: 3

I've been spiraling back into depression hard again for the past couple of months, for the first time in a couple of years. I thought since I had started and passed my first year of Tafe that I was past it but I couldn't have been more wrong when I s... View more

I've been spiraling back into depression hard again for the past couple of months, for the first time in a couple of years. I thought since I had started and passed my first year of Tafe that I was past it but I couldn't have been more wrong when I started the second year. Since maybe the first week I've been absent for most classes, unable to pull myself together and it really honestly feels like I'm broke inside somehow. It's gotten to the point now that I've been told to withdraw from a class and that's honestly thrown me off the deep end into bad habits and even caused me to relapse. What's worse is that I feel I but others to blame when this happens when it's all my fault, and I hate the fact that I'm unable to talk about this to anyone around me irl, especially my parents, who I feel I've failed immensely and wasted their money and time with something they don't even know that's happening. Ill be safe, but I don't know to what end, I feel as if it'd be easier to end things, but then I'd feel as if that's selfish to others around me. I think I'll stop because when I think about it my thoughts just lead to bad to worse thoughts. I just couldn't keep it in, had to type it out, since I'm incapable of talking about it verbally, thank you

LJpd81 Would you and how to tell your GP you self harm?
  • replies: 210

Recently I have been self harming. Im not sure if I'm allowed to say how though. Should I tell my doctor? And if I do , how do I tell her? She is quite approachable and lovely. The idea of telling her that I S/H, fills me with so much anxiety! How do... View more

Recently I have been self harming. Im not sure if I'm allowed to say how though. Should I tell my doctor? And if I do , how do I tell her? She is quite approachable and lovely. The idea of telling her that I S/H, fills me with so much anxiety! How do I blurt that out? What would she do? I already am booked for 6 psychologist appointments and I have written it down as one of my reasons for attending. Any advice please? Thanks very much.

Jrace I don’t know if I can keep living like this?
  • replies: 5

I’m not entirely sure how to start this off but I think this will help at least getting it off my chest and seeking advice I’m really struggling to see my future, I have horrible work/life balance, very introverted and have no friends. I’ve been in a... View more

I’m not entirely sure how to start this off but I think this will help at least getting it off my chest and seeking advice I’m really struggling to see my future, I have horrible work/life balance, very introverted and have no friends. I’ve been in and out of home for the last 2 years pursuing what I thought was my dream job. I work early early mornings (3am-10am) and afternoons. I have a break during the day that I use to sleep or get supplies for the week. I really thought that this was my dream job , I loved it for so long and even travelled overseas for it.. and my family spent so much money on me wanting to support my dream, I feel so guilty to even be thinking that I might’ve been wrong to make what I love into my work. But I can’t see myself continuing this life style for much longer, I’m lonely I’m tired and I’m losing so much weight as it’s tricky for me to eat so early in the morning and I feel ill by the time the afternoon comes along. There are times even now I really love my job I think during some days wow this is it , I truly love this job despite the many other thoughts. But the longer I work in this industry the more tired I’m getting, tired of everything. I don’t want to fail all the people that support me.. I’m not sure if the way I’m feeling is because I’m lonely or because I had a bad experience with a previous employer which causes me major anxiety when settling into new places. I’m not sure what to do, I never feel the need to get up and be productive when I have a break or at the end of a working day if I’m invited out (rarely, or by family) I feel like it’s a chore just to get out of bed and I’m left feeling tired by the morning even if I’m back home by 8:30pm. I work 7 day weeks every morning with 1 full day off a fortnight so it may be just a result of being tired but I don’t want to ask for more flexible time off as I’m only new to this employer, they’re already understaffed and everyone else seems to be managing it. i can’t keep living like this , I know that much , I just don’t know how to fix it without being a complete and utter disappointment. I think about other ways out that would just be easier and wouldn’t hurt many people. I think about it almost every day. I want to tell my family but I don’t think I could deal with the disappointment.

Life_House Searching
  • replies: 6

Hi, Bit of background on myself I'm a married male mid 60s and retired. For a few months now maybe even close to a year I have times where I feel quite down, lonely and questioning what my purpose in life is now. I don't have any real close friends w... View more

Hi, Bit of background on myself I'm a married male mid 60s and retired. For a few months now maybe even close to a year I have times where I feel quite down, lonely and questioning what my purpose in life is now. I don't have any real close friends who I can discuss my feelings with, though I have some friends ex work who I meet occasionally for a coffee once or twice a month. I find my emotions are up and down and I am now having relationship issues with my wife. I do go into some dark places and have thought of suicide a numerous times. I guess what's stopped me is the thought of family members particular my 87 year old Mum who is in aged care and relies on me to manage her affairs. When I try to discuss how I feel, particularly the ideation, with my wife she says I'm playing emotional games. Unfortunately she doesn't understand how I feel at times. My only outlet is riding my motorbike and sometimes I just get away from everything and go for a ride and camp for a few days to clear my head. I genuinely struggle to talk about my feelings and am a bit of an introvert in socialising. Sometimes I feel I just want a hug and be loved. I'm at a loss what to firstly avoid the negative and harmful thoughts; and secondly save my marriage.

Peter98 I contemplate if ever, for logical reasons
  • replies: 3

I am 27 years of age, without education or conventional interest or capacity for University, I am not interested in TAFE either, I am without direction for suitable entry level job's, net work and experience also, besides 11 month's volunteer in some... View more

I am 27 years of age, without education or conventional interest or capacity for University, I am not interested in TAFE either, I am without direction for suitable entry level job's, net work and experience also, besides 11 month's volunteer in something I didn't want at all I have my license NOW but i'm not really helped with buying a suitable vehicle, and that's taking forever I have no friendships, I've never had friends besides knowing toxic peers from high school, more than 10 years ago I have no girlfriend or marriage either, but I didn't want anyone without being put together with my life first I am pre diabetic type - 2, and despite being well controlled without finger pricking, I worry that any societal or future financial stresses or work or un employment could ruin my diabeties management I am also tragically mis diagnosed with Schizophrenia, and without ability to prove that I do not in fact suffer from the condition, I am currently under involuntary treatment for this condition, and have been given a proximately 5 to 6 more years of speculated time to take medication I feel more American and mis placed than being Australian which is hard for me to enjoy connecting to everyone, but still being Australian at the same time, I am deeply more religious and spiritual and conservative and I consider myself more creative than the vocational standard of Australia's ideals and norms I am also angered by being mis perceived as autistic or having asperges for the fact I am a articulate detailed speaker rather than netural, it's like I am fighting against 3 mis diagnosis which is suffering I don't like being around my father, because his selfish and entitled, arrogant and ignorant, and my mother can be, to my opinion mildly socially, or emotionally narcissistic, or maybe where just different personality So I contemplate all of this for numerous reasons, because I am always short comings with resolving my issues in life

emharis Trying to get better buts its an act
  • replies: 2

Im just recently 14. I have been having many struggles recently including body dysmorphia, anxiety and more. i guess i have just been feeling empty lately and i cry pretty much every second of the day. i have this group of friends that i absolutely a... View more

Im just recently 14. I have been having many struggles recently including body dysmorphia, anxiety and more. i guess i have just been feeling empty lately and i cry pretty much every second of the day. i have this group of friends that i absolutely adore with my whole heart. They always used to go on about how they love me because im so bubbly, happy and optimistic. the thing is recently i have been the complete opposite of that. i walk around school and i feel like i am mentally not there. I am miserable and whenever i am around my friends i have noticed that i bring them down with me. Not on purpose but im just so sad that it makes them sad. so they all just kind of go off at lunch and go to other people. i dont even blame them. i know they are worried about me but everytime they ask, i insist im ok. i wanna go back to how i used to be, to the person my friends love so that we can become closer again so i pretend. but its exhausting and it never works. so every day we drift further apart because i cant even pretend to be happy. its all my fault. And every time i notice a hint of us drifting apart i run to the school bathrooms and bawl my eyes out because i genuinley dont know what to do. i need help so badly but i dont know how. I dont even want to be alive because im mentally not even alive, only physically. I feel like i cant breathe and it hurts so badly. it feels so good to feel sad. to not eat and to cry. but thats causing me to lose my friends. i know that sounds horrible. it hardly sounds like a problem but they are genuinley the only people keeping me alive at this point. i know that didnt really make sense but i just wanna be happy so i dont lose my best friends.

Lapiz Regular suicidal thoughts
  • replies: 6

I'm fearful. I've been depressed for a number of months and my thoughts of suicide are getting worse and more frequent. I feel like I'm moving closer and closer to it each day. I have a psych working with me but I haven't disclosed how close I have b... View more

I'm fearful. I've been depressed for a number of months and my thoughts of suicide are getting worse and more frequent. I feel like I'm moving closer and closer to it each day. I have a psych working with me but I haven't disclosed how close I have been to enacting a plan. I feel like I'm an attention seeker. I have many opportunities in life, I'm fairly smart, social and bright on the outside. I'm broke and isolated but not in any pain and I don't struggle with things. There are quite a few people who love and care about me. But I'm unable to reach out for help, and when I do it's not enough to just hear kind words about how things will be ok. I feel worthless, hopeless, trapped and can't see how things can change. Each day I go through the motions, eat, socialise, exercise and look for work, but also continue to feel I'd like this feeling to end and keep having new ideas towards a plan. I'm worried when I'll have everything nearby I may act on the thoughts. I'm exhausted and want some advice on how to speak to my psych.

AnnaMac Can't face losing my cat
  • replies: 3

I'm afraid of being laughed at because she's 'just' a cat, but she's kept me going for the last 7 years since we found her. My whole day happens around her - I can get up because she's there and she puts me to bed at night. She's been my mother, sist... View more

I'm afraid of being laughed at because she's 'just' a cat, but she's kept me going for the last 7 years since we found her. My whole day happens around her - I can get up because she's there and she puts me to bed at night. She's been my mother, sister, friend, child - my everything. Now it looks like she has cancer and I'm terrified of the emptiness when she goes. The nights are the worst; I can't stop crying and I'm so sad and miserable that I just want to end it. I have PMDD so my depression gets very bad for one to two weeks of the month and I think constantly about suicide even on a 'good' month. I'm very lucky to have a boyfriend who's incredibly good, but I don't know how to cope with this loss. I'm afraid that the person I am on the bad weeks will undo me.